How to Reveal If Your Lover is Cheating On You

April 30, 2010 in Featured with 44 Comments

Our minds aren’t perfect at remembering special details and specific facts – far from it. Our brains work selectively; they store and recall certain bits of information while forgetting others. For example, you might remember – for whatever reason – a phone number that has little or no importance to you, but forget the birthday of someone you really should buy a present for. On the most part, this selective/subjective memory trait creates no real problems in our day to day lives. We can look up a number if we forget it, or ask a friend of a friend for the day of the month on which someone’s birthday falls.

However, sometimes it can make things slightly trickier. One such time is when we suspect our partner may be cheating on us. Imagine you walk into the room just as your partner is putting down the phone and they seem a little on edge or tense as they turn around and see you. The incident may stick out in your mind for weeks, niggling at you, making you wonder: did it mean something, was it a sign? Fast forward to a different occasion, when your partner returns home from a business meeting or other engagement late and immediately jumps in the shower, even before properly saying ‘hi’ to you. You might rationalise their behavior by thinking: “Well, they were probably tired or something. They surely just felt like refreshing themselves with a shower,” then forget all about it. You might be 100% right, but that’s not really the point. The strange phone incident and the unusual dash to the bathroom on returning home could both have happened because your partner is cheating on you, and conversely they both could be wholly innocent and not caused by infidelity. The point here is, remembering one incident over the other and thus giving it more weight or meaning than the other in your mind could potentially make it much more difficult to ascertain what is or isn’t going on – whether they’re trustworthy or not.

So, to combat the human tendency to selectively remember and therefore consider some incidents more than others, and therefore improve your chances of revealing the truth, you should keep an objective, non-selective record of everything that happens. Here’s how it works:

1. Use a journal or diary, not a digital method of recording events, changes in behavior/habits/moods, etc. Noting things in your own handwriting allows each piece of information recorded to be absorbed more deeply and permanently by your mind than if you type them out quickly on a computer. Also, paper records (a diary, journal, etc.) are usually more portable than laptops, PC’s, etc., which could come in handy if/when you spot a potential sign of infidelity away from home.

2. Keep your journal as objective and neutral as humanly possible. Note the time something unusual, strange or suspicious occurs, if you’ve noticed it before, and what it consists of. For example, saying: “Today (insert date) they came home 2 hours later than usual from work, it’s happened once before and they offered no reason or explanation for their lateness” is much better and more useful in the long run than: “They came home late again! They had no reason to be late at all. It must mean something.” So, be specific, neutral, accurate and non-judgemental. A time will come when you’ll make a decision on whether or not you can trust them and it’ll be then when an emotional response will be completely warranted and understandable. Until then, record what happens like a robot – it’ll help unravel the mystery and reveal what the hell is or isn’t going on.

3. Finally, keep your journal/record hidden away somewhere where it won’t be stumbled upon by your partner. If they ARE cheating and find your diary, it could easily make them more secretive and more careful not to give out noticeable signs of their infidelity in the future – thus making your job of uncovering the truth more difficult. If they find it and are NOT cheating, they could feel insulted or hurt that you don’t fully trust them. That’s an issue that, if appropriate, can be brought up by you after you’ve completed your little ‘investigation’. For now, secretiveness is quite possibly one of your greatest allies in discovering whether or not your partner’s having an affair.

Thinking of Online Dating After a Messy Divorce?

April 14, 2010 in Facebook Divorce, Featured with 10 Comments

I sometimes receive news from people who say that they really feel that they are ready to start to be dated after their divorce, but fear and fluctuation constrains them. Many of them come off from this to be with the same person for many years, and they only feel from practice when it arrives to dating.

I completely understand that, but it is fair, you are in the best position, than you possibly think. It is time when you can repeatedly invent yourselves, be accepted to receive precisely what you want, and have some entertainment, receiving knowledge of you are direct in process. In the following article, I will offer some helps and assurances for people who enter into game of dating online after divorce or long-term relations.

There is nothing incorrect with dating online. It is very socially comprehensible and it is expected today: I assume there used to be something like a brand with matchmaking or online dated sites. But with the social mass-media which are rules, instead of an exception today, usually people if you are not dated online, than if you are more surprised.

I know that it is a cliché to tell the ‘general performance of it,’ but there are a lot of people. And, it is not only the youth, twenty single games which are on these sites. People of all age and social classes give attempt of dating and a meeting of people online.

I know that it is time in your life when you feel especially vulnerable and uncertain in you directly. Many people say to me that they are afraid of that they are going to create a profile and then not to receive any answers or only to receive answers from people whom they would not like till now anyhow.

The volume is so high on many of these sites that many people are rather surprised at answers which they receive, and it can give you real increase of belief when you are in beginning of phases after divorce. Nothing says that you should go in any rate besides with that you are convenient. I disappeared online and stirred with people within many months before I ever met any face to face. There is nothing incorrectly with a capture of things slowly, creating your belief how you weaken yourselves in process.

You really can invent repeatedly yourselves and refuse those things which any more do not work for you: there are a lot of the people who only are coming off divorce having doubts concerning themselves. They feel awfully that they could not make their work of marriage, and they are afraid of that there is something not so with them.

So, they enter into this process with luggage and judgments someone than another.
It can be final and painful. But you should not accept it or bear it with you. You really can invent repeatedly yourselves and to name your best signs forward. You can be the person what you know you are or always wished to be.

Thing is your chance to begin. You can look back now back in your marriage with a distance small amount to define, what things did not work for you and what you do not wish to accept in relations today. One of really favorable things about dating for online is that sites give you many tools to search precisely whom you want and for only those people who well approach for you and whose groups sign you most of all wanted and estimated.

Dating has never been so much easy as nowadays. You don’t need even to visit clubs or libraries. The only thing you need is free dating site. There also exist other ways to arrange dating such as American chat rooms.

I would like to give another piece of advice. Everything is in your hands. Search Google and other search engines. Visit social networks and have a look on relevant topics. Go to the niche forums and participate in the discussions. Use all the tools of today to get the details that you need.

And also I would advise you to subscribe to the RSS feed on this blog because we will do everything possible to keep this blog tuned up to the day with new info about completely free dating sites and other respective issues.

Divorces From Social Media Sites Like Facebook on the Rise

February 23, 2010 in Facebook Divorce with 28 Comments

Facebook has become one of the most popular social networking sites used by individuals all over the globe. Facebook is a great host for people who want to connect with friends, meet new people or even do business with. However, Facebook is also associated with a lot of relationship issues such as breakups and third-parties.

Statistics from illicitencounters.com and other legal studies show that divorce and Facebook are significantly correlated with increased flirting and illicit online affairs. In a study conducted by a law firm, out of 5,436 divorce cases a total of up to 1,087 cases cited that illicit affairs started with the social networking site Facebook.

The Facebook networking site offers great communication features such as instant chat capabilities and easy friend adding system. One can virtually meet new people from the site all over the world. Facebook is also an avenue for meeting Ex-boyfriends or Ex-girlfriends where passion is likely to be rekindled due to their meeting on Facebook.

People flirt on Facebook generally by going online and trying to chat with people to make friends and eventually see each other for a date. Cheating occurs on Facebook all the time as you can see how engaged and even married guys view and flirt through comments on other women’s wall or pictures. A recent study has in fact shown that 60% of surveyed individuals find Facebook photos a good evidence for divorce cases.

The cheating behavior starts with a simple poke, a simple message, wall post, like sign and even an add request. Cheating on Facebook can be simply done, based on the story of one of my friends. People constantly find each other on Facebook and chances of getting attracted to other people’s profiles significantly increase. Thus lots of men and women find suitable undercover lovers in Facebook where they can communicate behind their partner’s back.

Through codes and passwords in Facebook, both cheating parties can hide their actions from their partners. Beware when your partner suddenly stays too long at school, at work or becomes mysteriously busy without verifiable explanation. Also check out the Facebook account of your partner regularly and watch out for hidden messages that may be posted on his wall or picture comments because this might give you a clue.

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