I am a betrayed spouse whose husband and other woman went all about Facebook with their affair.
He kept several pages with different statuses and the other person plastered his pictures…which were taken by me!!!!!
At our house,pictures of inside our house, with my daughter…on his page was our dog, our trips, parties…without me in them. It feels invasive and took away my sense of security.
This haunts me and ruined Facebook for me. Many friends and family have seen it and I cannot shake the negative feelings now. Shame, humiliation…I feel like they mock me. He did the widower thing but also shows a page with me he supposedly altered it.
Any ideas for getting past this would be appreciated.
I am not sure where to start. The initial request to cheat did not happen on Facebook. However, it is how it all came to be.
I am the other woman. I have been divorced for over 4 years, had been divorced only 4 months when i was first propositioned. So needless to say, I was not in a good place.
After our company closed, we had a goodbye party at a local bar. We were the only 2 left from our company. He just came right out and asked me if he could come home with me. I was mortified. I never once looked at this “man” in that way and I thought he was VERY married. Very good looking, seemed to have a nice little family going on.
Well, daily I was getting propositioned on Facebook chat. To date, I have over 5,000 emails from this guy.
Well, one day I said yes to him. I was drinking and on pain pills for my back. I told him to come over before I changed my mind. Each time he came over, we did our thing and he left. I was fine and did not give him a second thought. Then, he tells me he is having another baby. He continues to come over. Now he is a fun guy, good looking and very confident man. But I was kind of disgusted with myself but figured that i did not have anything else to do so why not?
Well another 2 years has gone by. The sex was getting very intense. He was getting very intense. He had asked me if i would be interested in doing a 3some with his wife. I had asked him questions about it and after a month, i told him sure!
Well, here is where things got weird on so many levels. I meet a girlfriend out for dinner, and he comes along later and asks us 2 to come to my house for some FUN! I said absolutely not, this is my friend and you don’t mess with my friends. I made it clear that I will not be the one to give him permission to double-cheat. Come to find out that he has been hitting on this friend thru Facebook, as well as one more friend of mine. I kind of suspected this all along but i did not know if it was real or my intuition.
I was a bit pissed so I confronted him nicely, not sure why but nicely. Eventually he stopped poking me on fb and responded less to me when we wrote to each other. I was thinking something was up. My friend would say he was chatting with them, but when i was on chat, i saw no green dot!
Well, I unfriended him and let him know why. However,
he has been coming over still. Calling me late to have our bi-weekly rendezvous. But instead of the 3x in one night, i am getting one! So this is another red flag. He has been getting a phone call each time he is here (suspecting that it is his wife). We have been doing less and less talking. And i am at the point where this is unfullfilling. So i need to end this slowly and confidently. What i am suspecting is that he is a sex addict and I am one of many women he is visiting in a night. I AM NEVER WRONG.
I am very angry with myself. I should have said no, and not have let this go on for the last almost 4 years. But i am lonely, bored and he feels so darn good. But, it is hurting me. But what concerns me here is that he is doing this, and putting so many people at risk for STD! Including his wife.
I am not the kind of person who wants to break up a marriage at all. I feel he is doing this on his own and getting careless. I have his address and phone number. I have had it for quite some time. I am not sure if i should be the one to say anything or just let him get caught with someone else. I feel like I will get some sort of redemption if i say something. She is home alone every night, while he is out having fun! She has 2 kids, and probably knows already what is going on which is probably why he is not Facebooking as much but maybe she needs to know for sure? Help me someone. I need to heal and dont know how. I have a little boy and want to be whole again.