Is Flirting Considered Cheating? What about if you do it online only? Once?
However you answer that question, if you cross the line, it’s likely that a divorce lawyer will find out about your online transgressions. Posting personal information on social networks such as Facebook has made divorce lawyers’ job a lot easier.
The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers says 81 percent of its members have used or faced evidence found on Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, YouTube and LinkedIn over the past five years, according to AP. Facebook leads the pack in terms of online evidence, with MySpace a distant second.
About one in five adults flirts on Facebook, according to a 2008 report by the Pew Internet and American Life Project. I’d guess that number is a bit conservative given that Facebook has only increased in popularity among married folks during the past couple of years. Think there’s any chance some of the adults were flirting with their spouses?
Social networking sites may make it easier to conduct affairs, but they also make it easier to be found out. And every e-mail, status update and tweet could then be aired in court when it comes time for a divorce. Divorce lawyers cite egregious examples of naughty behavior online such as the man who posts on Match.com that he’s single and childless only to later petition for sole custody of those non-existent children. Or the mom who denied smoking pot, but posts pictures of herself partying on Facebook.
“You’re finding information that you just never get in the normal discovery process — ever,” said divorce attorney Leslie Matthews. “People are just blabbing things all over Facebook. People don’t yet quite connect what they’re saying in their divorce cases is completely different from what they’re saying on Facebook. It doesn’t even occur to them that they’d be found out.”
In other words, think twice before you post pictures of you and your lover frolicking on the beach on your Facebook page.
I DONT THINK THAT FLIRTING EVERY ONCE AN A WHILE IS A MAJOR ISSUE, I KNOW THAT MY LADY IS VERY SEXY AND GUYS FROM HER PAST ARE GOING TO APPROACH HER ONLINE, I EXPECT THERE TO BE SOME FLIRTY WORDS EXCHANGED. ITS ONLY HUMAN PLUS IT HELPS HER CONFIDEN, BUT I DO EXPECT HER RESPECT OUR RELATIONSHIP.
WOW, wt a man, I envy you pretty lady indeed
WHEN YOU HAVE TO CONSTANTLY MONITOR AND ERASE YOUR MESSAGES.
OHHAI
FACEBOOK ALLOWED ME TO HAVE SEX WITHOUT MY WIFE
KKTNX!
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Crazy stories, FB helping expose the inevitable earlier
hellow
Flirting is cheating if you are in a relationship. It is lusting after someone that belongs to someone else. When a person can’t give up ex-lovers something is definitely missing in their relationship.————-
How can people belong to someone else? I thought that was slavery? Flirting is not cheating
you must be singel? when you are married to someone you or them should not be flirting with anyone. its not saying they belong to you it just says they love you an respect you. an flirting is a form of cheating in the mind. if someone will flirt they will go further.
Maybe if you were more secure in yourself you would not have such issues.
Insecure women OR men need therapy.
Why is talking to someone cheating. If you are that insecure, change yourself and make yourself more desirable get more confidence.
Sounds like your a whipped puppy whining and wagging your tail.
If talking to another woman is a threat, you need a huge dose of confidence.
I just found out a couple of days ago that my boyfriend is talking to an ex on Facebook and I am now having serious trust issues. He tells me that it is nothing serious but in my heart I know better. I am so hurt over this and I am thinking of leaving our relationship so he can persue whatever he needs to with this chick. I now wish that Facebook never existed. It is ruining alot of relationships
I totally agree with wat u r saying(raven81167)
Face book has become a big problem in my marriage. I agree thatvit needs to be shut down.
It’s funny, I’m married and my wife is the one doing all this . . . .We have a 7yr relationship, 4yrs been married and with a kid, she’s 3 turning four soon, . .
One day she left her facebook account on and my daughter wants to see DORA, so lovely but Instead I saw a couple of messages, poems and some misleading information . . . I don’t want to think that something is going on but she mention a couple of time threatening me with a divorce . . .
So fun, not anymore, . . . I’m still with her, maybe some more communication, patient and a way to understand things are better than nothing . . .
Of course, she deny anything that I saw, read, or copy
she is a damn cheater.. 100 % wheather u wanna rem it or not
i agree. shes a cheater, me an my wife have been together for 15 years an for the last 2 years she gets up an gets on the pc with a dude an stays there all day an if i say anything she will lock me out the bedroom. i have to stay cause we have a 12 year old an a 7 yeah old. an if i wasnt here i would be very woried about them. she doesnt clean house, go anywhere, talk to her family on the phone or ever on the net an goes 2 weeks without bathing an looks very depresed now from being on the net 18 hours a day with the same dude. but she always says hes just a realy good friend
If she stays on the net and doesn’t take care of her physical appearance, doesn’t bathe etc she is depressed but it is not because she is in FB. It sounds to me like she is so hung up on the attentions she receives from this other man that she is ignoring the one she has who loves her. Most couples will hit a glitch somewhere along the line but if you made it to the 13th yr before she got all wound up about attention from men, you were doing good.
I hate to be negative but it sounds to me like she is not happy with what she has and doesn’t care any more if she cleans up herself or the house. The fantasy of online relationships can be all consuming for some people, which is what it sounds like for her. If she is on the PC all day at least she is not out actually acting it out.
But I do know how much it hurts to be ignored by the one we love and my prayers are with all who lose a mate to the net.
I was in hospital having a 8 hour heart op. When I czme to wife was smiling when I went home I was sitting on the coach watching tv and her siting and smiling and typing like crazy on her laptop. I said I was tired and went to bed she came along to. I woke up at 3 am walked into thew lounge and there lo and behold was a long piece of literature from some erotic site and her email was open with email after email from an old boyfriend she in her own words “stalked” on facebook. I read all the notes and love stuff between them on FB. what hurt the most was her leaving him on her FB even after I confronted her. Facebook has a dark side and cheating is probably the worst.
by the way she sat in my hospital room so obsessed she could not put her iphone down sending emails to him on facbook to even look at me never mind talk to me . Now she says he doesnt communicate anymore sure I believe that one
I go through the same sort of bad behavior with my significant other concerning FB. Two years ago I had to have surgery twice and luckily it was outpatient both times or I would have probably laid in the hospital all alone while he typed sexy emails to women online. That is exactly what he did five minutes after we got home from surgery.
He has always spent a lot of time online but lately it has gotten worse. So has the lying and manipulating in order to be able to try to hook up with women.
His time online is the longest ever at this point. He is addicted to it I think. Or better yet, addicted to the attentions of women.
As soon as he wakes up he goes to his laptop and opens it to FB. He stays on there for 12 to 16 hours a day, sometimes more. He constantly adds single women to his page and then emails them to talk sexual trash to them. Uses pet names for the ones who will pay him any attention ‘darlin’, ‘love’, ‘sweetie’, ‘honey’ etc. Its gross to say the least.
I am not jealous of him, never have been, but for me it is about respect and trust. Lying to women and saying I allow him to sleep with other women, or that I want them to join us in the bedroom shows neither respect or trust. And this is just a small portion of the crap he does on FB. For him the site is a meat market.
He will deny cheating on me but I know for sure he did several times when we first got together and still would if I were not with him 24/7.
We have been living together as husband and wife for over 4 years and he has me listed as his wife but refuses to legally marry me. If any man shows any attention to me, he makes sure the man knows we are ‘married’ but he tells the women he likes that he are not married and that I made him list me as his wife, whatever!
I had listed him as my SO but he took a fit about it because ‘men will want on your friends list’…Isn’t that laughable?! He has used the net to destroy my ego and in turn my libido and now he sits on the PC anywhere up to 20 hrs a day between FB, Topix and the sex and dating sites he thinks I don’t know about and tells everyone who will listen about what HONOR is, lol…Ummm yeah, whatever. Wont lift a finger to clean up after himself and totally ignores me unless he wants something. I wish he had never followed me to FB!!
People are social quixotic individuals who derive pleasure from flirtations the very definition of flirt is consider lightly or dabble into. I sleep with my ex we dont have sexual intercoarse but my husband of five years trusts me n understands that we are close and beyond carnal attraction. If a spouse looks at their loved one with possessiveness in mind that is not a relationship its an obligation people should say and do as they please my hubby also is close with one of his ex gfs I dont care because we are bethrothed and a family a symbiosis based on mutual respect and trust.
I came across emails from my husband of 18 years between him and his highschool crush. Nothing terrible, just friendly, but when I asked him about them he lied. He was planning to see her, while telling me he was at work. I had intentionally avoided my first love online out of respect for hubby, but he emailed me at the time all of this was happening and I responded. i’m divorcing the lieing husband and marrying my first love. . .and happier than i’ve ever been. It’s not Facebook that’s the problem, it’s people who don’t respect their spouses or their marriages. Stay loyal or don’t stay at all.
I have been married for 22 years. My husband joined facebook. He opened up his wall and managed to get 2000 friends to “help” play all these games. Well one night i went in and saw some of the things he was writing to his vampire wars “fiend”…drinking out of of each others bellybuttons..alot of “love ya’s” and apparently they “sleep together” in a coffin ever night and give each other virtual backrubs. I confronted him on this. He said it was “harmless” and i was crazy. I took him to marriage councelor who also told him to cut it out and referred him for a pshych evaluation. He has now filed for divorce from me. Our house is going up for sale and he has cut me off from all our money. I think facebook is evil. I wish it never came into my home. I can’t believe a person would choose “fake friends” over there wife and 2 children.
I agree with Janeyc. Sorry to hear about your marriage break up hun.
I’m a gay male, and I noted that my partner of 6 years (who is much older than I am) was spending a lot of time on facebook after joining it a few months ago.
So I joined too. Then I logged in to find some messages exchanged between him and an old ‘mate’ that is married and apparently straight. That isn’t the impression I’m getting after reading messages such as ‘missing you’ and ‘love you lots’.
I’m now not eating and not sure if I can go on like this, even though it’s only been a couple of days since I discovered all this. In my heart of hearts I think it’s over, as my lack of respect and his complete lack of loyalty is hard to forgive and forget.
I’m seriously thinking of somehow sending a copy of all the messages to this other bloke’s wife too. They’ve apparently been married 10 years, and I know it sounds cruel, but I want to humiliate him and ruin his relationship as he has done to what I had.
I can’t blame Facebook solely though, as my partner is just a weak-willed, twat thinking with his dick.
Even so, I’m heartbroken. I hate facebook now.
The same exact thing happened to me a week ago. Just found out my hubby was havingan affair online with a cousin once removed. He denied it all, but I was aware of the changes in his behavior and got to read all the email exchanges by the both of them. I did something else instead of sending copies of all the emails. Care to hear more. In therapy now. Do not know what will happen. I did contact the other person! Writye me back on my email if you care to. Maybe I can help you sort things out.
It’s NOT FaceBook its the PEOPLE using it.. FaceBook can’t MAKE you do anything.. the person CHOOSES to cross the line..If you love your spouse you don’t cross the line, if you don’t.. then you do…it’s simple as that..
I totally agree. A gun does not kill people it is the heart behind the gun. I think it is the individuals responsibility to monitor their heart and withdraw from using a tool if their heart isn’t acting appropriately. Facebook is a tool that will either allow you to send sweet messages to your wife or a lewd comment to a stranger, the actions follow a thought and a thought originates in the heart. Do you need to have a heart change? Christ and help.
Been there….done that….if you have to flirt on Facebook….and later is will become cheating….it’s because you’re missing something at home…