Tag Archive - facebook cheating

The Cheating Book

August 25, 2011 in Cheating Stories, Featured with 8 Comments

I have a story of someone I know that has had the last year of his life affected by Facebook. Mike is married to Lisa. They have been married for three years. In October of 2010 Lisa starting acting funny. She was on her smart phone all the time. Not paying attention to Mike. Not being her usual self. Mike got to thinking something was off. He started checking her emails. He found something completely shocking. Lisa had been emailing a high school sweetheart she had not seen in 25 years!

Mike was devastated. Then as he was reading the emails he noticed they had produced a color code. Red meaning love, white meaning you, etc. He went back to her Facebook to see when she what she had been posting. For over a month she had been posting color codes for he old boyfriend. Her old boyfriend Chris lived in California and had a wife and kids. They were communicating how much they love and miss each other through Facebook.

He finally confronted her. She said she would stop, but got caught setting up an email account to contact him with. Again she said she would stop. Then a third time she decided to send him pictures while they were in Disney. After this Mike was completely heartbroken but still was very much in love with Lisa so he stayed. She promised him she would have no more contact with him no matter what. Things were quiet for a few weeks. Mike was so paranoid though he constantly checked Facebook.

He owned his own business, but was at work going through emails and Facebook, consumed by the fact he couldn’t trust his wife. Then he saw something. I witnessed it as well. Someone made a fake Facebook to become friends with Lisa. They used an old high school classmates name and information. It was like watching some creepy Lifetime movie. I couldn’t believe someone would go to that extreme to see someones Facebook. but it was staring at me in my face on the computer screen.

Then Mike caught Chris and called his wife. Mike told me it was very heartbreaking and the woman was in tears the whole time. I could not understand how people could be so careless with other peoples feelings. It did not end there. He made another fake Facebook, and then another up until this month 2011. Its scary that people can want to go to that extreme. To let you know Mike is moved out, but Mike and Lisa are trying to work things out. Remember: People make there own decisions.

A Facebook Reunion

August 23, 2011 in Cheating Stories, Featured with 4 Comments

Hi I am Sandra I have been married for 22 years now. Ron and I have two great children a daughter and a son. Our marriage is not always perfect but a work in progress is what I like to tell people. Our lives together have been good, the longer I am married to Ron the more I love and respect him. If you looked at our family from the outside about 7 years ago you would not have known that our marriage was rocky. We had learned how to play the roles in public of “loving spouses”. We were trying to work out the issues in our marriage; divorce was not something that either of us wanted.

It was during this time that I became active on Facebook; I first got an account to monitor our children’s activity. Then I found it was interesting to connect with old friends from school and my hometown. About a year after being on Facebook I connected with a classmate “Jim” We visited about high school, growing up, and what had happened to both of us since then.

“Jim” and I then started chatting on the phone all of this was with the full knowledge of my marriage to Ron. At first we would talk occasionally then it was every day. When I talked to “Jim” our talks we never about intimate issues but, just everyday things and the very things Ron was not there to hear due to the fact he was out of town working. When my husband was home I would talk to “Jim” with him in the room I did not feel as if I had anything to hide. Looking back now I can see that I had engaged in an emotional affair with “Jim”, with my marriage being rocky, I did not feel connected to Ron anymore. I let “Jim” take that place.

After about 6 months of chatting with “Jim” he started talking about how he had missed our last class reunion and wanted to come home and get together with classmates and would I help him with that, I agreed. The plan was set and he was going to fly to South Dakota in June. He then said he did not have much money and could he stay with Ron and me. We discussed it and decided that “Jim” could stay with us.

“Jim” flew in and I picked him up, I was shocked, I was physically attracted to him. I knew right then that before he left I would have sex with him. We went back to my house met Ron and they got along great; what a dilemma. I was stuck, the man I had been married to for so long, did I want to give that up for lust. I decided I could have sex with “Jim” and never tell Ron. That was my plan. To quote Robert Burn “The best laid plans of Mice and Men often go away”.

“Jim” flew in, our classmates got together and every chance I had I made it known to “Jim” that I was willing to have an affair with him. Ron had to go back to work and would be  away overnight. Before Ron had married he asked if I would be okay alone in the house with “Jim”. I said I was not sure that night Ron called from work and asked should he come home; I said no.

During the time that “Jim” was at our home he responded to my advances and how he wanted to leave his wife. I was so blinded by my carnal lust that at the campout with our classmates when he said he had over 100 partners it did not faze me. I believed what he said on the phone and to me that we would have a new life together, he would make me happy.

That is not what happened “Jim” and I had sex. The next morning I woke up feeling like a new chapter in my life was about to start. However “Jim” did not see it this way; it was just sex there were no feelings involved. He treated me like dirt, could not wait to go to the airport. I was in shock. I asked him are you going back to your wife, yes he answered. What had I done to my life?

“Jim” got on that plane and flew out of my life and he never spoke to me again. I was shattered, we had devolved this relationship over a period of months, over Facebook, the phone, and then he came to my home. I felt so violated, how could he do this to me? My life was over; I knew that I would have to tell Ron the guilt was terrible.

The first person I told was my best friend, and I was not surprised to find out that she was worried the whole time he was at my house. She had thought about coming over that night and confronting me, but something held her back. She felt guilty for not stopping what she knew was coming.

We talked about how I would tell Ron, I told her I did not think I could tell him, but the guilt was eating my alive. When I talked to Ron on the phone he knew something was wrong but, not what it was.

I had to call my psychiatrist who is not only my doctor but also a friend. I told him what had happened and made an appointment for Ron and I. I still had not told Ron because it made me physically ill and the doctor ended up telling him. Ron reacted in anger, who could blame him? I had violated the most sacred trust of our marriage and for what? nothing. We drove home in stone cold anger. Our children were terrified they knew something bad had happened just not what.

When we got home we sent the children to bed and Ron let loose. I remember how he shook with anger and wanted to know how I could have betrayed him. I was still struggling to answer that.

How to Reveal If Your Lover is Cheating On You

April 30, 2010 in Featured with 47 Comments

Our minds aren’t perfect at remembering special details and specific facts – far from it. Our brains work selectively; they store and recall certain bits of information while forgetting others. For example, you might remember – for whatever reason – a phone number that has little or no importance to you, but forget the birthday of someone you really should buy a present for. On the most part, this selective/subjective memory trait creates no real problems in our day to day lives. We can look up a number if we forget it, or ask a friend of a friend for the day of the month on which someone’s birthday falls.

However, sometimes it can make things slightly trickier. One such time is when we suspect our partner may be cheating on us. Imagine you walk into the room just as your partner is putting down the phone and they seem a little on edge or tense as they turn around and see you. The incident may stick out in your mind for weeks, niggling at you, making you wonder: did it mean something, was it a sign? Fast forward to a different occasion, when your partner returns home from a business meeting or other engagement late and immediately jumps in the shower, even before properly saying ‘hi’ to you. You might rationalise their behavior by thinking: “Well, they were probably tired or something. They surely just felt like refreshing themselves with a shower,” then forget all about it. You might be 100% right, but that’s not really the point. The strange phone incident and the unusual dash to the bathroom on returning home could both have happened because your partner is cheating on you, and conversely they both could be wholly innocent and not caused by infidelity. The point here is, remembering one incident over the other and thus giving it more weight or meaning than the other in your mind could potentially make it much more difficult to ascertain what is or isn’t going on – whether they’re trustworthy or not.

So, to combat the human tendency to selectively remember and therefore consider some incidents more than others, and therefore improve your chances of revealing the truth, you should keep an objective, non-selective record of everything that happens. Here’s how it works:

1. Use a journal or diary, not a digital method of recording events, changes in behavior/habits/moods, etc. Noting things in your own handwriting allows each piece of information recorded to be absorbed more deeply and permanently by your mind than if you type them out quickly on a computer. Also, paper records (a diary, journal, etc.) are usually more portable than laptops, PC’s, etc., which could come in handy if/when you spot a potential sign of infidelity away from home.

2. Keep your journal as objective and neutral as humanly possible. Note the time something unusual, strange or suspicious occurs, if you’ve noticed it before, and what it consists of. For example, saying: “Today (insert date) they came home 2 hours later than usual from work, it’s happened once before and they offered no reason or explanation for their lateness” is much better and more useful in the long run than: “They came home late again! They had no reason to be late at all. It must mean something.” So, be specific, neutral, accurate and non-judgemental. A time will come when you’ll make a decision on whether or not you can trust them and it’ll be then when an emotional response will be completely warranted and understandable. Until then, record what happens like a robot – it’ll help unravel the mystery and reveal what the hell is or isn’t going on.

3. Finally, keep your journal/record hidden away somewhere where it won’t be stumbled upon by your partner. If they ARE cheating and find your diary, it could easily make them more secretive and more careful not to give out noticeable signs of their infidelity in the future – thus making your job of uncovering the truth more difficult. If they find it and are NOT cheating, they could feel insulted or hurt that you don’t fully trust them. That’s an issue that, if appropriate, can be brought up by you after you’ve completed your little ‘investigation’. For now, secretiveness is quite possibly one of your greatest allies in discovering whether or not your partner’s having an affair.

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