Facebook Flirting Harmless? I Thought So Until I Caught Her

I overheard a couple of people talking about Facebook flirting while we were in line at the bank so I listened in a little. This one guy asked his friend about people flirting with others on Facebook and did she think it was harmful and dishonest or something that should not be that big of a deal.

He said something like, “Can flirting on Facebook be unhealthy for a relationship or marriage?” She probably wasn’t that sure but I know the 2 of them were very involved with Facebook and talked about adding and deleting people on there constantly.

I caught my wife a few times chatting with someone on Facebook but when I walked in the room she would quickly close the chat or shutdown the browser all together. I know she had been on Facebook for the past several months and had re-connected with some old high school and college friends. One in particular was en ex-boyfriend that she left to date me and eventually marry.

It really didn’t bother me too much and I told her why she was sooo jumpy when I walked into the room. She didn’t really have a reason other than I scared her.

Really? Or did you not want to get caught cheating on me chatting in Facebook. Jesus how obvious can it be here! Was my marriage over? How do you know when your marriage is over I thought to myself.  Is this it?

When I asked her who she was talking to, she was not completely upfront and said she barely talks to people on Facebook. I know it was her old boyfriend after a while cause she didn’t think I was home yet from work on night and she left the chat open while she was in the bathroom. I happened to sit down and saw the name but nothing in the chat that looked to harmful or wrong. My wife was cute and a flirt so I was used to a little of her playing with someone else.

At the time when this was going on (yea that was about 9 months ago now. LOTS of changes now) she seemed pretty distant with me and I was now keeping more tabs on who she was friending and how often she was on Facebook.

What I found out was very hard to take. She had been IM-ing and posting on Facebook late at night and sometimes into the wee hours of the morning with a few guys from her past, one in particular that she had a relationship with right before going out with me. Some of the posts were very flirty and sexual in nature. I think this is highly inappropriate for a married woman, but she seems to think its all in good fun and no big deal, just joking around she said, nothing to worry about.

She was also upset that I checked up on her, but I had a bad feeling from the onset about who she was talking to. Then I later found out that she had met one of these guys at a bar one night when out with her friends. Although she denies it, it seems pretty obvious she is cheating (later on I find out the whole story).

Even if she isn’t, it seems very disrespectful for a married woman to chat late at night with flirty IMs with old friends. This to me is inappropriate behavior and if the tables were turned, I don’t think she would want me doing this to her. Any thoughts?


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