Facebook Flirting Harmless? I Thought So Until I Caught Her

I overheard a couple of people talking about Facebook flirting while we were in line at the bank so I listened in a little. This one guy asked his friend about people flirting with others on Facebook and did she think it was harmful and dishonest or something that should not be that big of a deal.

He said something like, “Can flirting on Facebook be unhealthy for a relationship or marriage?” She probably wasn’t that sure but I know the 2 of them were very involved with Facebook and talked about adding and deleting people on there constantly.

I caught my wife a few times chatting with someone on Facebook but when I walked in the room she would quickly close the chat or shutdown the browser all together. I know she had been on Facebook for the past several months and had re-connected with some old high school and college friends. One in particular was en ex-boyfriend that she left to date me and eventually marry.

It really didn’t bother me too much and I told her why she was sooo jumpy when I walked into the room. She didn’t really have a reason other than I scared her.

Really? Or did you not want to get caught cheating on me chatting in Facebook. Jesus how obvious can it be here! Was my marriage over? How do you know when your marriage is over I thought to myself.  Is this it?

When I asked her who she was talking to, she was not completely upfront and said she barely talks to people on Facebook. I know it was her old boyfriend after a while cause she didn’t think I was home yet from work on night and she left the chat open while she was in the bathroom. I happened to sit down and saw the name but nothing in the chat that looked to harmful or wrong. My wife was cute and a flirt so I was used to a little of her playing with someone else.

At the time when this was going on (yea that was about 9 months ago now. LOTS of changes now) she seemed pretty distant with me and I was now keeping more tabs on who she was friending and how often she was on Facebook.

What I found out was very hard to take. She had been IM-ing and posting on Facebook late at night and sometimes into the wee hours of the morning with a few guys from her past, one in particular that she had a relationship with right before going out with me. Some of the posts were very flirty and sexual in nature. I think this is highly inappropriate for a married woman, but she seems to think its all in good fun and no big deal, just joking around she said, nothing to worry about.

She was also upset that I checked up on her, but I had a bad feeling from the onset about who she was talking to. Then I later found out that she had met one of these guys at a bar one night when out with her friends. Although she denies it, it seems pretty obvious she is cheating (later on I find out the whole story).

Even if she isn’t, it seems very disrespectful for a married woman to chat late at night with flirty IMs with old friends. This to me is inappropriate behavior and if the tables were turned, I don’t think she would want me doing this to her. Any thoughts?

Ken

453 Responses to “Facebook Flirting Harmless? I Thought So Until I Caught Her”

  1. bobby October 6, 2009 at 6:49 am #

    The same problem I have and I’m considering to break the marraige

    • joe October 7, 2009 at 3:27 pm #

      same problem her – going to marriage counseling – it is disrespectful to me – I am planning on leaving her if it doesn’t end soon

      • Rev. Richard July 13, 2011 at 7:40 am #

        soon? you meant NOW!

        • mia July 19, 2011 at 1:56 pm #

          Isn’t that too harsh? I mean leaving ur wife because she’s flirting in fb. Talk to her & tell her how u feel, that u find it inappropriate & disrespectful. If she continues to do so & defends herself that she’s not doing anything wrong, then the two of you will have to sit down & make a choice of letting each other go, letting her crap go on willingly, or continue taking in her crap. At least, the two of u should come up with a decision you both find fair for each other…bottom line is, any relationship should be 2 way, give & take thing & a compromise & commitment in one…if it’s not, then the best way is to go on separate ways.

          • LOUIS September 21, 2011 at 3:12 am #

            or get a hall pass! if you all understand the feeling involved in a mans heart and sole the rage of anger and the civility of thought process….take the 24hour rule. do not speak of it and when the time is right you can sit and hash things out instantly.hold on or let go, it take two to tango,so understand that your wives are very very dependent on attention. and this attention should always come from one place only first…..and that is……..you listening guys?????????????????????? her brain!!!! yep she need emmotional deep emmotion stimulation.its a 12hour a day job….if you can get in her head you know your bride or your mate and click like never before. in fact the other twelve hours of the day……………….YOU WILL BE REWARDED WITHOUT BEGGIN…………….truth is thats how i will approch my dilemna.. see like you all,yesterday my wife went shopping and the short of it was……she left it up and running…i snooped in her messege center and there are months worth of one other man who wants my kids my house and my cars and my wife and yessssssssss my fkn bills
            but in 24 hours i found its not his fault….its not her fault…….its our fault…
            i needed to be more aware of her needs and she needed to communicate this with me……instead.. well its real ugly…they meet a few times and they are close….se la vie…
            HINDSITE IS 20/20

          • wayne October 4, 2011 at 7:03 pm #

            fuck facebook it should be shut down for good my wife and another twat on it have destroyed my family forever because of the fucking site.em
            secret little messages like when can we meet, caught her out and the twat she was in with his partner told me everything…..they don`t want each other now lol…were divorced im going for custody of the kids its not fair she should file for divorce cos of her little secret affair and keep the kids it should of been me that should of filed for it, facebook is as bad as living with sexual predators and the twats who made it should compensate people like us who have been destroyed by sick cheating scum

          • anthony November 2, 2011 at 10:31 pm #

            i dont think its harsh bec if shes flirting on fb she could be flirting in public let alone anything else

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          • tony August 25, 2013 at 4:57 am #

            I caught her chatting with another male, telling each other love u shit ….I comforted her and told me we were just chatting and they have meant twice and kissed on the chin. how do you forgive and forget and bring trust again .

            do you believe in that story>>>

    • zhet April 22, 2010 at 2:52 pm #

      It happens to me also i caught my husband flirting in Facebook and all he can say is same reason that he is just doing to for fun and its nothing! it will never be nothing because it affects my emotion and trust so Facebook is not good for married couples

      • Betty October 27, 2011 at 7:01 pm #

        I agree. Found my husband recently ‘liking’ his ex-wives pictures without his kids in them. One was of them dancing at his daughter’s wedding reception, (the mc at the reception asked the parents of the bride and groom to dance). I felt very uncomfortable at that time, but I definitely do now. Thank god she lives very very far away!

        • Betty October 27, 2011 at 7:03 pm #

          And I still have not forgiven my husband. I feel stupid around his relatives.

          • Camisha S. October 28, 2013 at 3:08 pm #

            Isn’t it sad when you feel this way? smh

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        • tony August 25, 2013 at 5:00 am #

          Facebook should be removed , it has destroyed relationships out there>>>

          • lili December 20, 2013 at 3:58 pm #

            totally agreed, if facebook isnt there, i would not have met my boyfriend, since we met beginning was good now he is busy with so many other gals in facebook, so it sux

      • Carla February 3, 2012 at 7:49 am #

        Total agree!

      • far November 4, 2012 at 3:34 pm #

        yea.., they use “friendship” as a reason for their doing..for me i caught my boyfriend chat with someone else wife…and when asking both parties,, they answer they do nothing…the wife did not feel guilty, and my (ex) boy friend also same..he even defend her..i am lucky found out before marriage.. :) and it is reasonable..as a wife u chatting with other boys at 12am above…

      • Joni Caputo August 29, 2013 at 2:46 am #

        caught my husband having a very sexual conversation with another woman on facebook and trying to send her pictures of his penis. Lucky for me this woman saw that he was married and got very offended. shot him down. served him right. he tried to tell me he was drunk and doesn’t know why he did it. He was out of town on business and sitting alone in his hotel room bored. i have lost all trust in him and feel betrayed.

    • Mat April 29, 2010 at 2:35 am #

      I agree with Adriene, facebook isn’t healthy for any serious relationships. It seems to happen to every couple at one point or antother, but the fact that the flirting may go unoticed for god knows how long is really disrespectful. This has happened to me this past week, and today as a matter of fact. 4 yr relationship GONE just like that. My gut instinct was telling me something was up 5 months ago. should’ve went with it then. Instead I just tortured myself mentally listening to the lies this gapped tooth skank was telling me. “I’m not that type of girl” “if thats what you think i’m doing than you really don’t know me” ” I would never hurt you.” “you’re the one for me.” I truly loved this girl and she knew that I wanted to believe her, Which was on and off for me. She would gives completley different answers about important things if asked every once in awhile. Obviously hiding something. Anyway finally found out she had TWO facebook profiles. Never mentioned the “other” one. That was enough for me. I told her that her and her skankass friends were lying sluts. and to leave me alone. and now she’s sexting some bald ,now probably a cuckold, bastard and also found out she’s likes to look at women, which I always knew she was bi…she was just to coward to comeout to me. really sad little girl now that i think about it. I Copy and pasted the texts into a message and sent it to people. Person she worked with that knew very little about her and will hopefully spread the word around the office of how this big foreheaded, hairy , crooked nosed quifing cunt acts on the internet. And the guys wife ;) I would like someone to do that for me. the truth must always be told be it good or bad. Adults should act morally and not kids in a high school show. Now I am skeptical of ANY girl who says they’re a honest and genuine partner, This cannot be true this day and age. Very sad But true. By the way this girl has a large course hair on her left nipple.

      • gwen November 30, 2010 at 11:57 am #

        Omg I lmao at this post not bc she cheated but, bc of what u said o well at least u know now and didnt waste any more time w the skank! Facebook and fucking really?? What a loser if i had sex w all the dudes who flirted w me i would have more men then a porn star…………….

      • gail April 28, 2011 at 12:55 pm #

        there are some honest people out there. U are unlucky to have got mixed up with a cheater. always go with your gut instinct!!

        • Rab October 17, 2011 at 11:04 pm #

          I agree with your comment, thought I only thought this way! Thanks, Rab.

      • Samuel L Jackson September 22, 2011 at 3:43 pm #

        This is inane – FB shouldn’t bear blame – the relationship is WEAK if it can’t handle your sig other (whether BF,GF,Spouse) talking to old friends – if they flirt or have online relationships, they would have done so anyway. It isn’t FB that is the issue – it is people doing what people chose to do. FB is simply another crutch of a scapegoat and excuse for many people to blame something other than themselves and their sig other.

        • Joe November 25, 2013 at 1:43 pm #

          So I have a similar situation, when do you leave because of the disrespect (IM x-boyfriends and new friends) the sig is bringing to the relationship

      • wayne October 4, 2011 at 7:16 pm #

        lol love the bit at the end….facebook needs a petition to stop the destruction its doing to thousands of people and needs to happen now .
        I work, only part time i have 5 kids and i still manage to get them to school,, all you hear when your waiting for the kids to go into class is facebook this facebook that
        i wonder if the dole cue went down facebook would be a lonely place,…..
        Then the mums moan about getting fat…..yes its easy sitting on the fucking computer allday while huddy at work, while your having cyber sex with some bloke living just up the road who when you get found out suddenly dissapears off your page and there sisters pages, then they never heard of him, when once upon a while
        he was a friend of an aunt…come on….pedo ???? same old same old..facebook fuck off maybe a subscription to join cos lets face it sites like this do charge but hey why pay when you got goof old fucking family wrecking facebook the biggest lump of shit that wrecks familys breaks kids hearts yes the platform for cheating bits of shit

      • far November 4, 2012 at 3:37 pm #

        it opposite of my story…boyfriend chat with someone else wife at night…

      • Ana June 22, 2013 at 11:42 am #

        Not all women nowadays are cheaters or skanks, I know for sure that I am not one and I’m proud to be an honest married woman. Sorry you’ve gone through that shit on Facebook, but I truly believe that modern social media has brought more evil and dishonesty than good. Keep your head up high and you will find true love. Once you find it, your life will make sense, and those who hurt you in the past will go into oblivion.

        • Travis July 14, 2013 at 3:20 pm #

          Thank you

        • Annabelle April 28, 2014 at 4:20 am #

          NAWALT!!!1!!!!
          Get real. Women love a strong man. You aren’t being strong enough then of course she’ll leave you for more exciting pastures. You always have to be exciting. Plain and simple. Be it rough sex or a fancy night out, human being need stimulation. Have you ever looked into the r/k theory of mate selection? Sorry to say, but we live in an abundant society and simply being a provider doesn’t cut it anymore.

      • michael July 21, 2013 at 12:32 pm #

        who ever is reading this testimony today should please celebrate with me and my family because it all started like a joke to some people and others said it was impossible. my name is Michael i live in Chicago i am happily married with two kids and a lovely wife something terrible happen to my family along the line, i lost my job and my wife packed out of my house because i was unable to take care of her and my kids at that particular time. i manage all through five years, no wife to support me to take care of the children and there come a faithful day that i will never forget in my life i met an old friend who i explain all my difficulties to, and he took me to a spell caster and and the name of the temple is called, okundonorgreatspell, i was assure that everything will be fine and my wife will come back to me after the wonderful work of dr okundonorgreatspell, my wife came back to me and today i am one of the richest man in my country. i advice you if you have any problem email him with this email: dr.okundonorgreatspell@gmail.com and you will have the best result. take things for granted and it will be take from you.

    • rob December 16, 2010 at 3:55 pm #

      well ive been with my wife for 20 yrs. it has been rocky but a marriage never the less. she goes on adult web sites like adultchat.net, im’s guys all day and night. she had 2 guys texting her all hrs of the day and wee hrs of the morn. when i confronted her she said they were just friends and they were just talking about thier woes. she said she dont talk to them anymore and i believe her…. but now i find several more guys in her phone who she has been im’ing. very flirty and graphic. i was able to figure out her facebook password and found another guy. she is involved with a certain game on facebook and he “owns her” there are lots of flirty things said and now she wants him to give her a dirty name. she tells these guys they are sexy and constantly winks and says xoxoxoxo. whether or not there is something with the facebook guy it is wrong and disrespectful. not to mention i know how she is talking to the other guys. she dont know that i know these facts. she actually told the facebook guy i was her ex. so i guess my point is guys and girls … if you have the gut feeling follow through and you will be surprised what you find, either in a good way or bad way.

      • Rab October 17, 2011 at 10:32 pm #

        Good advice, thank you, Rab.

      • Camisha S. October 28, 2013 at 3:13 pm #

        this is the sad truth. And often times when people spend an overabundant amount of time accusing you, it is them that should have been accused all along. smh so digustingly sad.

      • KD November 24, 2013 at 8:01 pm #

        Close Call!
        I too found my wife of 14 years chatting with a guy ten years younger than her on Facebook behind my back. He was mostly coming onto her, contacting her first. It was a gut feeling that made me check, plus an acquaintance of ours confirmed the chatting. I innocently asked her for her username and password, checked the chat room and there was what I was looking for. Beginning to end this had been going on 2 months, since she had changed her profile pic (which she looked absolutely stunning). I copy and pasted the whole chat so she couldn’t delete it and say I was crazy. Long story short, I called our pastor then confronted her, first denied everything. Told her I had all the time and dates recorded. This was day before Halloween. We have now met with pastor once and will meet again next week. Moral is don’t let this go ontoo long past the point of no return.

    • just plain ol mad December 29, 2010 at 4:49 pm #

      my wife and i started having problems a few months back while she was on a trip to her home town, when she came back she was a completly different person, she had just really started getting into facebook about the same time. She dumped me as a FB friend and blocked me, and hyponated her last name”so my classmates can find me”line. She had a blackberry and that thing is like crack to her, taking texts and calls in the bathroom or leaving the room to answer a text or whatever.So christmas rolls around and she tells me her friend from high school is flying in from Fla. I said great wanting to meet her friends, the day before her friend gets here she informs me that she is going home for the holiday with her friend, she picks her friend up at the airport comes home and i meet her friend cheryl. she is in the house for 22 minutes and out the door as i am standing here wondering WTF.Long story short, i had a mutual friend look at her FB account and discovered that she had a 3 day long class reunion party that she was going to. Never said a word nor invited me along. So i confronted her and she shrugged it off as nothing and said i’m imagining things. I just wish i know how to hack her FB password to get the real story. Tried getting her crackberry but that thing is guarded better than Ft. Knox. She is willing to go to counseling. I’m hoping that will help but i have a strong feeling that something just isn’t right here..am i imagining this, or is this just a mind fuck? Also we are only 4 years apart in age.

      • joe March 4, 2011 at 9:01 pm #

        http://www.relytec.com will get you what you need

        • steve March 21, 2011 at 9:10 am #

          hi joe try webwatcher i did and found out my wife was up to know good wit 3 guys after 28 yrs of marrage its a key logger you can get it for phones too even shows you deleted text try it it realy works

          • Sarah March 27, 2011 at 10:23 pm #

            So did you stay with her?

        • Paula March 19, 2012 at 3:29 pm #

          How would I put something like this on my husband’s Kindle?

      • Ellen February 24, 2012 at 2:16 pm #

        Joe – Best of luck to you. My husband, too has been caught on facebook flirting with a woman – as in “you are soooo pretty”, inviting her to his favorite pub and exchanging phone numbers. I’ve also caught him on other sites in the past. I don’t think he’s stepped out – but it is suggestive that he would. Let’s face it – everybody cheats at work and how would the honest partner ever know? I fly right – keep men at arm’s length and always mention my marriage if speaking with an unknown or unfamiliar man. It is very disheartening – the internet is a very sadistic place. Anyway – as to your question if it is a mindfuck? Maybe is my answer. Keep your eyes open, take any opportunity to peek at her phone/computer and follow your guy. Good Luck

    • tyler September 3, 2011 at 9:45 pm #

      you know this is happening to me right now…i have no clue what to do. i actually did some research and as of 2010 1 in 4 divorces now have some involvement with facebook. that is a crazy number…hell i would love to get at some of these men.

      MY ADVICE TO THOSE WHO CATCH IT EARLY….BLOCK FACEBOOK

      • kevin September 22, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

        Its happening to me also, only I caught her talking on the phone at 1am to a guy in California(2,500 miles away) the first of June. She had been talking to him 3 other times in May for up to 45 minutes while I was asleep. This is not counting the times she was chating with him on facebook poker. She was diliberately hiding him from me and lieing straight to my face since February about talking to other guys on facebook.
        She was very sorry (when she got caught). I have my moments when I want to move on with life and my marriage and then I have my down moments when I think about the deception. It hurts, I know.
        I dont know if I can stay with my wife at this time. I love her, which makes it harder. One thing is for sure. Our relationship will never be the same.

        • Miranda September 25, 2011 at 10:54 pm #

          Same situation. My boyfriend went to jail for 6 months,he left me his phone .(stupid idea on his part) I allways trusted him since he would tell me every single day how much he loved me and that i was all his and he would NEVER do anything to hurt me .. oh yeah and he would allways say” i swear to god baby i havent talked to any other girls since we started hooking up ” in Jan. BS I believed every word .. I accidently stummbled across his messages on facebook and i found out he had been converstaing with a woman in michigan telling her goodmornig georgeous,goodnight georgeous hope to talk to you soon and giving her his cell number ! they had about 5 conversations that i know of .. one stating hes never cheated on me untill i started talking to you but shes neglecting me anyways .. He would talk to her while i was asleep or when he was at work .. He also contacted his ex in the begining of it in Febuary before we were official in March .telling her he loved her and missed her and that he was starting to like me but no one could compare to her .. i spoke with her later on fb and she said he couldnt choose btween us and since she wasnt ready he chose to date me.. They met up again the last week before he went to jail and they kissed ..he blames it all on her that if she wouldnt have tried contacting her he never would have done it …I love him soo much and don\t know how to let go because he sais he is sorry and it will never ever happen again….he got my name tattooed on his neck and is promising me the world he also told her to never contact him agin..and he sais now he realizes what he had and doesnt want to lose it because he is soo desperatly in love with me and he cant go on without me … i want to give him another chance but not sure if he will do it again!!! he saying he will erase his fb and not have a phone anymore !!he swears to god i am the woman of his dreans

        • Ray January 17, 2012 at 8:46 pm #

          I only found out this past Christmas that the woman i have been living with for six years has been carrying on an online FB relationship with a man for the last three years. Now they’re in love with each other and mutual friends who are not blocked from her FB page tell me about all the love notes they send to each other. Strange, she moved out of my bedroom about 3 years ago for no reason — now I know why. When I confronted her about him, she told me he was “just” a friend and that she is allowed to have “friends” on FB. What she didn’t tell me is that she bought a webcam which she secretly installs on the computer when I am asleep so she can chat (and God knows do what else) with her online lover — who she has NEVER MET in person. How can someone be so stupid, I don’t know — wish there was a way I could snoop on the webcam without her knowing.

          • Cris April 27, 2012 at 8:18 am #

            How about leaving her and stop the nagging situation, move on and find someone decent. Staying is going to empower her in continuing to do what she does. People need to be put in their place. That’s the only way they will change.

      • wayne October 4, 2011 at 7:22 pm #

        my wife did it to me no regrets it mines a long story wiv twists n turns facebook
        should be closed its a breeding ground for cheaters 15 years with my girl and 7 months of cheating…..yes they went clubbing together while i was at home with 5 kids one only 5 weeks old.

      • Carla February 3, 2012 at 8:03 am #

        All I can say is I am so sad about this FB thing. My hubby has so many female friends and a few of them he dated in the past. Unfortunately the girls who keep trying to get him to talk or comment on something he says, are bored, frustrated housewives who have…..no lives. And the single ones are ho’s as well. Sorry but I am totally pissed off right now. The only guy friends I have on their are my nephews. And the other ones are there, but I never talk to them. I only comment on one of my highschool girlfriends comments. But pretty much, now I just want to get one female contact for any class reunions and think I’ll be done with suckbook. Too bad because sometimes that’s the only way I hear about family stuff. But I’ll find more traditional ways, like calling them by phone – lol. I am presently in the process of going for counseling with him for this. I cannot stand all the crap he would do without me there, he would close it when I would come in the room. I have got to get this straightened out once and for all because right now I am depressed.

    • laura April 21, 2012 at 12:43 pm #

      I have the same problem with my husaband, for almost a year now. Talked about it, hasn’t stopped, and now one of the girls wants to text and meet him. It’s all because he wants more attention, and I am already looking at divorce laws because I have remained faithful and given him everything including 3 children, we have sex 4 times or more a week, and I keep up my appearance, and I am back in school getting another licensure to make more money. I am sick of it, and if this doesn’t stop, I am so moving to the beach with my kids and having my own relaxed single life away from this stuff.

      • steve June 29, 2012 at 7:40 am #

        y do all the assholes get everything that guys who live o love there wives get fucked. Thanks fuckbook

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    • Rochelle October 15, 2013 at 10:39 pm #

      I agree that it is disrespectful for either married women or men to send private messages to someone of the opposite sex. First of all, real or not, it gives urge other person the illusion that the spouse is insignificant. It is my belief that our spouses should never be made to look like a non factor no matter what others think. Generally the people with whom you are having the private message have a heightened sense of self and believe it the problem of the spouse and they play not part. Get real. Learn to respect and you’ll receive it in return.

    • Greg November 29, 2013 at 12:21 pm #

      Well pretty much all these comments are on the money regarding facebook and definitely gut instinct is always right, if you suspect something you are most likely bang on . I have been married for 7 years and caught my wife chatting with ex boyfriends etc from very early in the marriage . I was not happy at all about this and I confronted her about it a number of times and she promised she wouldn’t do it again but really I guess I had already lost my trust for her ! Anyway all these years later we now have a beautiful six year old boy, just finished building a new house and I thought all that shit was behind us … well actually I caught her again while building the house , one morning before heading off to work I did my regular email check and I guess my gut instinct clicked in so I checked the history and yep she had been at it again while I am out building our family home ! Bloody furious , went to work without saying anything but confronted her when I got home and she denied it but then backed down and said yes she had been in contact with her ex and again promised never to do it again , I mean here I am building our house and she is doing that shit , I had to try and block it out, continue building the family home and just hope that she would keep her word ! So house finished , move in , all good … for a good for a few months until she showed a good friend of mines wife photos of a guy see was seeing ! My friends wife told him … he told me ! I was so angry and hurt to hear this , anyway to cut a long sad story short I confronted her and ofcourse she denied it so I picked up her computer and through it on the ground in anger , she thought it was broken … well it looked broken with a fuzzy screen and all . So she left for the day , while she was gone I tried to turn her computer on and bingo it fired up !! Next figured out her computer password then went straight to history and basically all that is on there is FB messages , clicked one and it opened her facebook … well she didn’t log off ! Well there it was infront of my face , yes the boyfriend and all their conversations , photos together , more guys she had been with , heavy heavy shit and still feel sick about it all , in some ways I wish I didn’t look and read all that shit but if I hadn’t of thrown the computer that day and checked it I would probably still be with her . Now we are separated and divorce is on it’s way !! Basically you never really know someone until you read there personal shit ! Facebook has it’s good points but it also has an evil side , all social media has made it far too easy and unfortunately it’s here to stay and if someone truly loves you they won’t do what has happened to me and many others !!!

    • johnnie May 10, 2014 at 12:28 pm #

      Same thing here. Caught my wife contacting the muscled guy on Facebook. Her rotten sister had hooked her up. Found all kinds of things like. I can’t wait to be with him and no other man will touch me but him.she actually was buying his kids Xbox systems with the money I was giving her because she can’t keep a job. Her girlfriends who were always here smiling in my face using my swimming pool and drinking my expensive whiskey were also in on it. Ooooo who’s the lucky guy. My wife has totally destroyed any trust I had in her. And after she was caught.she had the nerve to get mad at me for snooping. Ain’t that some nerve. I want tto take the children! And just go back to my birth place. Hawaii. I HATE HER !!

    • tiredofFB May 28, 2014 at 10:21 pm #

      ya my boyfriend ( but not for long) has been caught on FB flirting with girls a few times, he lives on there. he tells me they are friends till i find a message on new year eve telling her ” i miss you and wish i was with you” i am pretty upset about FB also but if it is not FB it will be another site, people who starve attention from alot of people will find ti. and it is not that i am not good to him i treat him very good and lots of attention and i might add sex :P but he still goes else where for attention, never meeting these girls as they are not in the same city. and i believe he has never been with no one but me, but he surely does flirt, and it hurts when you see him tell another women she is beautiful and not to you. I am tired of this and have told him, he tells me he don’t want me to leave him ( of course not he is treated like a king) but one day i will have enough and then the next one to come along will suffer cause of his mistakes ( sadly) the internet is a bad place and alot of places to cheat and that makes me sad, cause once my heart is owned so are my sexual parts 100%. good luck to us all :)

  2. mike October 14, 2009 at 8:34 am #

    put a gps on the tramps rolling brothel n see whos driveway she frequents n dump the bitch off there next time u r with her

    • Roxy November 14, 2009 at 7:46 pm #

      thumbs up from me on that idea

    • Rassy July 23, 2010 at 9:37 pm #

      lol the look on her face would be pricelesss

  3. arg November 11, 2009 at 10:28 pm #

    umm.. if your other is unhappy its going to happen no matter where or what they do. you just have to get over it and move on. they aren’t tramps you just aren’t making them happy and they are bored with their lives. wahwahwah

    • Roxy November 14, 2009 at 7:49 pm #

      If they are bored, unhappy with their lives they need to step up to plate and own it and be honest rather than sneaky lieing blaming bullsht.Communicate.

    • baybay April 14, 2010 at 7:36 pm #

      You don’t LIE because you’re unhappy. She’s a liar and that puts her in the wrong, no matter HOW unhappy she is.

      If she were up front about her unhappiness and just broke things off, then I’d think otherwise.

      She sucks!!

    • travis April 27, 2010 at 2:28 pm #

      @arg, Yes, they are tramps. The only one who would say what you say is someone who habitually cheats on his spouse, or with other mens spouses. But with the final comment you don’t sound too bright.

    • Argh August 29, 2011 at 2:10 am #

      I’m a bored semi-happy wife and I have explained this to my hubby many times, even ways to remedy the sitution. To no avail. Of course. Hubby knows how others find me very attractive, even other girls. He allows me to flirt. I allow him to flirt. We’ve even had threesomes. Flirting doesn’t affect our marriage too much, unless it becomes emotional. :) So, arg, what’s up? ;) BTW peoples, I am no tramp. My hubby was my first.

      • jd89 July 8, 2013 at 1:01 pm #

        I’ll make you happy wanna have fun?

    • wayne October 4, 2011 at 7:25 pm #

      bull shit….my relationship was out of this world till some wanker brain washed my partner
      KARMA IS THE PUNISHMENT NOW AND ITS HAPPENING. FACEBOOK FUCK OFF

    • frostbyte July 13, 2013 at 3:09 am #

      Just a cop out for taking responsibilty. I am tired of stupid people copping out in their mistakes. you make a mistake, you own it – or it owns you.

  4. Wally November 12, 2009 at 9:18 pm #

    This happened to me as well. My wife and I have been married for 15 years and I discovered her online affair on our 15th anniversary

    • Zaida April 13, 2010 at 11:42 am #

      What did you do? How long ago was that?

    • Heather March 5, 2012 at 2:04 pm #

      I am so sorry about that Wally. YOu deserve better, hope you find it.

  5. Annie Mae November 17, 2009 at 12:41 pm #

    Just like the other story it seems like a lot of these men are a decade older than their wife. Are they just with you for your money? For the security? For you to raise their kids? That’s the impression I got from reading a lot of the comments/stories on here.
    FYI a lot of women will marry some guy who has money who will support them and take care of them. They get all settled in with them but are on the look out for the man that they are in love with.
    Women love attention. They want men who are attracted to them and give them attention. Either your wives are out their trying to meet someone they love because they are only with you for your money/security or they want attention from another man because you aren’t cutting it anymore.
    Maybe she just wants to make you jealous? Usually the husband takes her for granted so she goes and wants him to realize that other men find her attractive just to get a reaction from him. And YES if you men haven’t figured it out yet women love to play mind games. They will tell you they want to leave you just to see how you react. If they say they are leaving you and you just let them go you really don’t love them. Maybe she wants you to yell at her, fight for her, prove to her that you love her. because constantly following her around saying oh baby i love you, i trust you…. does not cut it. It is human nature for men to constantly think of sex with women they meet. It is also human nature for women to want attention from men and for them to fight for her love. so men grow some fucking balls and tell her to knock it off or you will beat the shit out of the guy because she is married to you!

    • trish November 26, 2009 at 5:55 am #

      annie mae…. i am ten years younger then my husband, i am not with him for money or any other reason than i love him. your assumption that women only marry for financial security basically labels anyone with an older husband a prostitute.

      i take great offence to your comment and can assure you, you obviously do not have as strong an understanding of womankind as you seem to think.

      • baybay April 14, 2010 at 7:38 pm #

        Just because you’re not crooked, doesn’t mean all women are good like you.

        I know plenty of women who are bad bad bad!

    • amanda April 27, 2010 at 1:59 pm #

      I AGREE!!!!! I love my boyfriend, and he is seemingly so secure with that fact, that while he sees men hit on me constantly, even disrespect him while we are out, he stands there while I destroy their egos. The problem is that he never reacts like a “typical” dude would. He knows I don’t like jealousy, but when the line is crossed, he consistantly takes the high road. Poor guys, they can’t win can they?lol. It is true that a woman wants to feel appreciated and get attention. It’s not just women who screw up relationships, I feel men tend to get comfortable and take women for granted, I see it all the time. Let it be a lesson that if we love someone, we can’t take them for granted, always do and say little things to keep it alive, otherwise someone will creep up on f.b. and give them what they are missing in theyre marriage!

      • Joe November 15, 2010 at 7:39 pm #

        So, when you are not satisfied in a marriage, it is ok to cheat, right?

        • mia July 19, 2011 at 1:31 pm #

          So when you’re married & unhappy, the adult & responsible way to deal with it is to sneak, lie, flirt or cheat? I guess, people who are able to say such thing are people who does the same or hasnt been in the situation of being cheated on. I think it’s too selfish for a married person to do that especially when you have kids who will suffer the consequences of all their actions. No amount of child support/money can replace a happy family in a child’s eyes & mind…having a mom & dad who loves each other & parents who love them. An adult will be strong enough to move on but for a child to bear all the pain, doubt & betrayal…..it will always leave a hole in a child’s heart. There’s a reason why people get married in the first place…they’re in love, want to spent their lives together, etc.but if those reasons aren’t the same anymore, you have to step up to the plate & behave like an adult of finding solutions to your problems instead of acting like a rebellious teenager. The point is the married couple should be aware that there is in fact a problem, address it & both should have the decision to part ways or make the relationship work. That’s why separation or divorce often ends up ugly…coz there’s always that rebellious teenager sneaking behind your back…..

      • wayne October 4, 2011 at 7:28 pm #

        HAVE YOU EATEN THE CAKE ??? ALL OF IT ?

    • Ray February 17, 2012 at 8:27 pm #

      I was in that situation — older man, younger woman — and she began dating a man on Facebook who she kept a secret for 3 years. She even secretly installed a webcam and would do things I don’t even want to think about with him in the wee hours of the morning. Guess what, I did fight back and told her she had a choice to make — either the Facebook man or me. She moved out at the beginning of this month. She chose him, even though she has never met him. I don’t give a fuck except we have a kid together and she took the kid and now is not letting me have any time with him. So the kid suffers for her Facebook bullshit affair. So what you’re talking about makes no sense –fight for her, beat the crap out of the other guy.” Yeah, right. Good luck with that, fellas. She wants to cheat, she will. It’s as simple as that. I hope the asshole on Facebook turns out to be some mean son of a bitch when she finally meets him, and treats her like dirt. That’s what she deserves.

    • Anonymous Hombre March 6, 2012 at 12:54 am #

      If a woman says she is leaving a man and he lets her go, it MAY be because, even though he loves her, he has had a gut full of her disrespect, lies, more lies, and betrayal, and the misery that results.

  6. Iris November 23, 2009 at 5:09 am #

    I agree that flirting on facebook is WRONG! especially if you’re married!! I like to go on facebook all the time (mainly to play farmville :)), and yeah, sometimes (like once every few months) i’ll chat with an old guy friend. BUT, i talk with my husband about it, telling him things like “hey i talked to so-and-so and can you believe they have 3 kids already?!”(i talk to him about everything) and i keep it COMPLETELY appropriate. it usually ends up being about how our families are doing, how big our kids are, where we work now, who from school have we seen lately… ect.

    In my opinion, it boils down to one main thing… communication. without it, your wifes could be feeling neglected, or ignored (EVEN if you didn’t do anything wrong or werent trying to) I sometimes feel like that myself, but i talk to my husband and tell him how i feel, and that way he knows and can help me to lose those feelings. he’ll sit and bear with me if i need to vent, or just want to talk- which i know to a guy can be torture lol, but it keeps us communicating and that helps us to keep our marriage strong.

    i hope this helps, and that your wife realizes how you feel and changes her flirting.

  7. Annie Mae November 30, 2009 at 2:11 pm #

    Trish… is your husband on here because he caught you cheating?? Have you read the stories on here that men have posted? That their wives ( almost all the men are being cheated on by their wives that are over a decade younger than them) have been lieing, cheating, etc? Basically I was saying it seems that these young women don’t really even love them. There are more stories on another tab you should check out. There’s a lot of the guys who catch their wives cheating and the woman just ups and leaves him for someone they actually love and i should add that the women take half of that man’s money also. Just read the stories and I’m sure you will see where i was coming from by asking those questions.
    I don’t know you but I have a feeling you are a religious person? Maybe you were raised to hurry up and find a man and get married? And that married life is so amazing and no one cheats or lies or uses the other spouse? Have you ever known a woman young or old who refused to even date someone that was without a job? Have you ever known a man who was with a woman just because she was younger and prettier than his ex wife and just to make his ex jealous? I don’t know if you are living in your fairy tale where everything is perfect but in reality the world is not perfect. I’m sure you love your husband and he loves you and I’m happy for you both. I truly am. But people need to understand that there are human beings out here who will marry for the wrong reasons. These men knew in their guts that something was wrong but ignored their feelings. Their cheating wives were wrong for doing what they did these men need to face reality. Those women didn’t truly love them or they wouldn’t have broken their vows in the first place.

    • travis April 27, 2010 at 2:36 pm #

      You sound like Miss Havisham in the Charles Dickens story, Great Expectations. She had a very pessimistic view of marriage as well. Actually she was sick, and you sound like her. An old, tart, bitter woman who thinks people who try to do right are either hypocrites. 10 year age difference is not that big of a deal between men and women. In reality some things are good, and some are bad. But in the Miss Havisham-bitter-old woman reality, everything is bad or a pretense. Then again, maybe you were a tramp in your younger days, and you feel all women are like you once were.

    • Rab October 17, 2011 at 11:01 pm #

      Hello, Rab here again, I agree with your thinking, Cheers!

  8. Taylor December 10, 2009 at 9:11 am #

    MEN CHEAT TOO!! Same thing happening to me…..with my husband. Finding old girlfriends on Facebook and sharing OUR life with them. Telling them, after viewing their pictures that they “look good” and them telling him they “wish you were here” at their get togethers. We’ve been married two decades and I can’t remember once when he ever told me that I looked good. I walked in one night and found him looking at pictures on Facebook. So I got curious and checked his email account and found several messages from women to him and from him to them. Topics of discussion were memories of weekends together and drinking parties. Then I checked his Facebook site and found that several of these girls have posted pictures of them with him from years ago. I did confront him, but he says he was “just talking to old friends”. I asked him why he didn’t tell me about it before I found out. He didn’t have a good answer. He even has been talking to an old lover. CRAP!! It IS a big deal, because I was a virgin when I married him and he has NEVER appreciated that. Totally pisses me off and I feel it is really disrespectful. And these women are also married!! WTH! As far as I’m concerned, if they think he’s so great, a guy that would hurt his wife this way,……they can have him.

    • Dianne August 4, 2010 at 10:57 pm #

      Same thing is happening to me and I have found out time and time again and I am at my wits end because it always ends up with him going off at me for checking up on him and not trusting him. How can I trust him when continually he just tells me what I want to hear and then goes straight back to messaging, chatting and sending photos etc to these women. There was even a woman who he went to school with years ago that was “just friends” and then started the sex stuff – I checked his phone and saw messages from her. So, I sent a message to her husband and told him to check whathis wife was up to – of course I was the bad guy coz it wasnt my place to do so. Hey – Im being cyber cheated on so is he – he should know. They promised not to do it anymore and just blocked me – eventually it became apparent that for the sake of our relationship it had to stop. He has again promised me and now I find messages to someone he has added to play Frontierville. I dont know whether to say I know about it or just leave it because it must be an addiction. I know he wont do anything physically but it is the emotional side that hurts. Is it my fault? I dont know the answer – to me it is cheating whatever way you look at it. He lies to my face. Maybe I should just leave????

      • Carla February 3, 2012 at 8:19 am #

        I am pissed off and depressed about this as well. And when I had my last blow out with him over a certain married girl on there, well he says I will not unbefriend her. Well that’s that last straw because I decided marriage counseling will be the next step. I will not be second fiddle to these ho’s or ANY OTHER girl for that matter. I have to be number 1 or I will be gone. I am afraid of counseling and also glad to finally be doing this. Sad, but true, we need a referee to help us with this dilemma. It’s been like a cancer in my marriage.

        Sometimes I f’nnn hate facebook or suckbook, whatever you call it.

    • Gail November 19, 2010 at 12:27 am #

      Same story for me,just different people and they’re always “just friends”, but it’s funny you never heard of them until your guy started getting on facebook!!!!!! Only mine waits till I am in bed and acts like he can’t sleep, I feel so dumb:(

      • hurt and angry September 2, 2013 at 2:09 am #

        I totally hear you on this. i have had many blow outs with my fiance about this same thing. i am totally upfront and truthful with him about who i am txting with and messaging on crackbook with. i was sick and bedridden for nearly a year, and days when i would get out of bed to go to the bathroom, he would be on his computer with his hand in his pants, and quickly shut down what he was on. one day when he was at work i finally had enough and went on his computer and found out that he had been sexually talking with some ho and going back on dating sites. i felt like it was my fault coz i was ill and wasnt looking my best all the time. like every other woman on here, when i asked him what was going on, he looked at me and said “what, i cant scratch my balls?” or the usual one “their just friends” and when i asked him about the dating sites, i got, “i just want to meet new friends”. after discovering all that which was only 6 months into our relationship, all of a sudden he started get txts and calls at all hrs from some ho. one night when i was certain he was fast asleep, i checked his phone and there were txts back and forth for days about hooking up when he went back to the city to go xmas shopping(for me)and how he wanted to watch her walk around naked and so on. i even saw that they were sending naked pics back and forth on days that i was at work before i got sick. i confronted him about it and he basically told me i was crazy, that he loved me,and how dare i snoop on him. after that things calmed down, and then all of a sudden i get an email from a chick sending me an entire conversation they had, and her asking if it was safe and where i was, asking to see her breasts, and by the end of the conversation, she told him that he was a loser coz he had an amazing woman that finally loved him. i held onto that email for a while until i needed to use it. a month or so later the same thing was happening again, so i hacked his FB while he was at work, and saw that he was telling some other chick that he loved her. i freaked out on his ass, and told him it was either me or these other ho’s. he called me a bitch for calling his friends ho’s, and i told him i call it like i see it. when i ask him who he’s talking too, or txting i get it’s “just a friend” or “it’s an update”. if a new chick gets added to his facebook, and i ask how he knows them, i get told to quit snooping on him, or his facebook has been hacked again, but he never deletes them. he seems to think he has to be a personal saviour to all his ex’s as well, and txts them all the time. i started going over the cell bill for his usage, and noticed all these numbers he never txts when he’s home from work, and when i ask about them, he says im spying on him. i have tried several times to kick his ass to the curb but he wont let go and leave me be. i have a health condition that cant handle me getting too upset. he makes me feel so stupid and unappreciated coz i have seen messages on the dating sites and facebook where he calls all these ho’s beautiful, gorgeous and so on. i have even txted a couple of the numbers and posted comments on his pages calling these ho’s (not by name, but they know who they are) Sucubus’. i’m getting fed up with it all and he refuses to sit and talk, he would rather turn it all around and make him sound like the victim and start and argument. i feel like the cause of it all, coz i feel like its my fault for getting sick. and the kicker to all of this, was when i used to get woke up at 5 am to him jerking off in bed next to me, but now i have recently caught him jerking off in the shower, and when i confronted him about he got pissed, and now he locks the door so i cant just walk in to offer to wash his back anymore. im at the end of my rope, and i cant even suggest couples counselling because he works out of town now, which really puts me on guard.

        • Susan September 4, 2013 at 6:45 pm #

          If he is working out of town, then you know this hasn’t stopped & is probably worse than you think. It’s not your fault you got sick. Kick his ass out now for your own self respect. At least then you could see if he truly loves you or not. If he knows you have absolutely had it, he may be willing to stop & if not, you have your answer & can at least stop torturing yourself.

    • steve June 29, 2012 at 8:00 am #

      Im sorry. Right there with you I dont think I can get over my wife I truly love her to much stupid I new better I told her 2 years the first day she went on facebook it would be the end of are marrige

  9. BlooBloo December 10, 2009 at 11:32 am #

    Oops! It happened this summer and into the fall. She started out on Facebook and met some (two) guys. Then it escalated into Skype where they could chat and see each other. One of them she showed to. The other there was a lot of chat history and talking about me in some of it. It ended when I found out. I pulled the plug. But I’m still wary and don’t trust 100%, even though we have now reconciled. Things are better here now, but talk to your woman. It’s usually because things are not as they could be at home.

    • mia July 19, 2011 at 7:40 pm #

      Most of the stories i’ve read say that they didn’t even know that they’re having problems til they find out about the cheating going on. So how would they even know that there are issues at home that needs to be addressed if they’re not telling their partner? I think it’s the same pathetic & lame excuse of a coward, selfish, cheater & lier whenever they get caught.

  10. Derrick Watkins December 27, 2009 at 4:32 pm #

    Facebook flirting is cheating. It is very easy to do because you are in the privacy of your own home and messages can be sent without others knowing.
    Facebook is not responsible for this. But, when you are having problems with your man or woman and he or she is not meeting your needs, facebook allows a unhappy person to here what they want to hear from someone who does not mind saying it!

    Derrick Watkins
    Author: Why Good Girls Date Bad Boys

    • Kmarie December 30, 2009 at 12:14 pm #

      Sorry Derrick, but I think you’re off base. Getting sucked into flirting and more on FB doesn’t necessarily mean you aren’t getting what you need from your partner. What a lame and cliched remark! I believe part of it is ego – can’t resist the positive strokes. Then you have the thrill of secretive, naughty behavior. You can sit right at your computer and say anything you want, BE anybody you want. Blaming it on an inattentive spouse it like blaming all your adult hangups on your parents. Let’s see some accountability. Just because you probably won’t get caught doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. What ever happened to integrity and loyalty?

      • baybay April 14, 2010 at 7:44 pm #

        I agree Kmarie!

        When cheaters try to lay the blame for their stupidity on the other person it’s just a pathetic attempt to paint a prettier picture of themselves TO themselves.

        No body wants to admti they’re the bad guy, but if you do something bad, YOU ARE A BAD GUY/GIRL.

        Bottom line.

        • Lisa April 27, 2010 at 11:31 am #

          AMEN!!!!

          • Ann August 3, 2010 at 3:17 pm #

            I agree Kmarie and baybay and lisa, I found out that the man I had been living with had cheated on his last girlfriend, with me…starting over facebook. He looked me up and he built on the past relationship we had and never told be that he was with someone. He started our relationship on a lie and when I found out, I realized he was doing to me what he had done to her. He started pushing me away, taking his phone into the bathroom and posting on facebook. After reading all his email and facebook mail, I found that he was telling everyone that he was never going to get married. I also found out that he had kept an online dating account the entire time we where together. I confronted him and moved out that night. The next week he asked out a friend of mine that I had introduced him to and who he had facebook friended. A cheating dishonest person will always be a cheating dishonest person, they are only concerned with their selfish wants.

      • rob December 16, 2010 at 4:06 pm #

        i so agree. she blames everything on evryone else. without her own accountability. and says facebook and adult chat rooms relaxes her and distracts her from her own issues. i say talk to me and she says i cant. and now she wants me toaccept it cause she tells me nothing is going on….. if she only knew what i know!

        • Jeffro37 April 25, 2012 at 4:29 pm #

          You need to confront her ass in this

        • hurt and angry September 2, 2013 at 2:16 am #

          so true, my fiance says he only goes on the dating sites and chats like that on FB with these ho’s coz he’s depressed, what BS

    • Carla February 3, 2012 at 8:22 am #

      Sorry but it’s cheating to me even when the other person is always commenting on your spouses information, or your spouse is always commenting on their photos or info or they have to be one of them that LIKES the crap they post.

  11. angry January 4, 2010 at 7:15 pm #

    man I’m angry !!!! We been married for 17yrs and about 2yrs ago we agreeded to open accounts which was done seperately 1St mistake. she signed in with her maiden name 2nd mistake. soon I joined and requested her as a friend to my surprise the list was longer than what I expected. I know what u went through the nerves, hiding ,logging on at crazy hours and the e-mails 3Rd mistake . I finally caught on and know realized she’s been chating with some guy from egypt .damm it !!!! don’t know what to do. 17yrs!!!!!!!

    • Lisa April 27, 2010 at 11:30 am #

      Leave her!!! Just went through this crap with my husband of 24 years. Wasn’t the first time I caught him either. Caught him 7 years ago hooking up through Classmates.com. Begged for another chance and I gave it too him. NOT THIS TIME! He is out. I never cheated on him, never even considered it. You will find someone worthy of you.

  12. Ebenezar January 17, 2010 at 6:41 pm #

    Hi, I too a bad experience with facebook. Myself and my wife have a seperate FB account. We have been happly married for 13 years with 2 great kids. She dumped her boy friend to marry me because he was abusive and always cheated on her. She always hated him. In last 13 years I’ve never doubted her integrity or loyalty. Last month her ex-boyfriend sent her a message on FB. She replied to him and gave her gmail address to get in touch. (we know each other’s FB password). When I checked her gmail account, she invited him to chat on orkut. When I confronted her about the email, she said she was sorry about it and will cut off all contact with him. She also said she wanted to show him how happy she is with me and make him more jealous. She wanted revenge for the way he treated her. She wrote to him and said they cannot be in touch anymore. He wrote another 4 emails. She did’nt reply to them (probably she knew i could access her emails). I suggested her to parmenently close gmail account (which she did). We had good discussion about this issue and explained the consequences of keeping in touch with her boyfriend. I’ve closed my FB account. Her account is deactivated. I love her very much, but it is very hard to trust her. Is this feeling normal? Or should I keep a track of her activities on PC? I keep thinking about it. Will she get in touch with him or it is all over. Can a married women go to any extent to emotionally hurt her ex-boyfriend? Please help.

    • Annie Mae January 19, 2010 at 11:29 am #

      Were you able to see what she wrote him? Was she telling him she was happy with you? If you have proof that she was telling you the truth then all should be fine. If you think he was contacting her to get her back and she was falling for it that’s another problem. I would think the talk you to had was enough to make her realize not to talk to him and that closing her accounts are good enough.The last thing you need is for her to get in an argument with you or have a bad day and run to him. You should really talk to her again and tell her how you are feeling. If she loves you and wants to be with just you she will not only tell you but also prove her love and show you that you can trust her. Good luck!

    • fbisthedevil November 18, 2011 at 8:14 pm #

      When someone is “trying to make an ex jealous” whether on FB or anywhere else, it’s because they are still emotionally attached to that person, and regardless of whether they intend to pursue the relationship or not, it’s placing energy and attention on old baggage. People need to realize that when they are getting betrayed by their partner, it’s because they were never fully present in the relationship to begin with. I had a fb account and talked to exes all the time, fully secure in my feelings and relationship and commitment with my spouse. He, on the other hand deliberately sought out an ex to rekindle unresolved issues with her. He casually mentioned it, which i allowed because i was also talking to exes, with the hopes that it would lead to a mature closure with this person. instead, he became obsessed with her, and intended to open up another relationship (she was also married). he revealed to me after a month of secret texting and conversations that this was going on, thinking that just because he “told me about it” it was ok. beyond FB – its about relationship issues, and FB is just the open door to reveal them between people.

  13. Ebenezar January 24, 2010 at 7:51 pm #

    Hi Annie Mae, Thanks so much for your suggestions. She asked him to join her on Orkut for a chat and she said she wanted to ask him so many things. She also told me that her ex emailed her and is it ok if he is on her facebook account. I straight away refused her request. Next day morning she wrote back to him saying that they cannot be in touch and it is inappropriate to email each other. (I did read that email). She also cancelled her gmail account. W’ve been married for 13 years and she was always faithful to me. She never attempted to get in touch with him. We live overseas 1000s of miles away from our homeland. We again had a good talk last weekend. She is very angry with her ex-boyfriend and wanted revenge. She thought it was a good chance that he mailed her, so she could hurt him. I knew this guy, when she was going around with him (13years ago). We all lived in the same building. She realises that its better to move on and forget the horrible past. I think accessing her email account is not wrong, when it comes to saving our marriage and keeping her safe. It is my duty to keep her safe from doing any foolish thing. Thanks again.

    • baybay April 14, 2010 at 7:49 pm #

      You know what? Looks like he’s got his evil claws into her poor psyche. I don’t think she’s doing anything wrong, but he’s got a manipulative power over her that she doesn’t realize. If I were you, I’d send him a message clear and loud….”BACK OFF, SHE’S MINE.”

      If you confront him, maybe he’ll slither away back under the rock he came up from under.

  14. Timothy January 26, 2010 at 9:39 am #

    Here is my problem. My wife and I have been married for seven years. She has been on FB for a year and is on it non stop for much of the time she is at home. To make matters worse, she recently got a Blackberry and has 24 7 access to FB, IM, emails, and phone calls. This summer, I discovered that she found some ex friends and boyfriends from her high school, college, and adult years before us. She pretended that one friend was her step brother who she had just found, from a previous marriage of her mom’s. One day, she left her phone unattended and the phone ranged and it was the alledged step brother. I did not answer but told her that someone had called. She saw the name and picture of the person and look startled. I could see that she was caught red handed. She finally confessed that the stepbrother was an ex boyfriend from her early 20′s. She claimed that she only lied because I couldnt handle it and she was trying to help him, by babysitting his child, so he could work and get his life back together, while the child’s mom was in the process of getting out of jail. After much fussing, scolding and withdrawing, we went to counseling (which was not helpful) and I finally confronted the guy on the phone. He insisted that there was nothing to their relationship but her watching this baby, who actually stayed with us one night when I thought it was my step nephew. He acknowledged that it was wrong that she lied and that he wanted to meet me to get all of this resolved. I refused to meet him because I know my temper. I also found out in talking to my wife, that she had spent the night with him at the hospital (so she claimed) the weekend prior to me discovering the lie, because his mom was ill. This was during a time that she claimed she wanted a little space and wanted a weekend to herself, despite prodding for us to be together.

    After so many lies, I decided to do some researching and had a male friend, invite her to be a friend on FB. She accepted. When she accepted, she flirted with him, talked bad about how our relationship was going……”its complicated” and considered meeting him, but she passed because she was unsure quite who he was. I also saw all of her pictures, which were endless photos of her, childhood and teenage friends, and ex boyfriends. She took pride in bragging about the ex boyfriends in her photo comments and had a mug shot of her with a guy, labeled “best friends for life.” It was under this photo, four months before I discovered the lie about the stepbrother, that I found out she had went home (four hours away from where we live) and spent time at a bar with this “best friend” at a class get together. To make matters worse, she was not carrying my last name in her signature (her excuse….so more old friends could her by her maiden name).

    She finally added her married name, take off the best friend and her hugging photo, and agreed to add some photos of us and except me as a friend. However, I did not pursue the FB friend thing because she kept talking about her space and her page. Keep in mind of the 100′s of pictures before these incidents, there was only one picture of she and I.

    Recently, I discovered that another former friend (could be ex boyfriend not sure) hollered at her on FB. He lives on the west coast. On her wall, he sarcastically noted that he did not know she was married, that he did not want to make me upset (when he visited home for the holidays), and would just look her up at her grandparents, to avoid trouble. Instead of standing up for our marriage and denouncing this advancement from him, she simply commented that he should hit her on FB when he arrived in town and that he “owed her dinner anyway.” She also talked about how he use to love her smile…..all on open wall, in front of her friends, many that know me and know that we are married. In regards to other men and ex friends, they have commented on her photos that she is “sexy” and “beautiful.” She frequently compliments other men and I am barely acknowledged on her page. In her photos, she has a album called my family. This page does not mention me, her stepchildren (mine from a previous relationship). But she did include a best female friend and her godchild. Go figure.

    I love this woman. I don’t want to have a failed marriage, yet she keeps talking about she wants us to seperate (to seperate households), be friends, continue to date, and learn how to love each other again. However, my trust is very slim. I am even considering a tracking system, to keep up with her, particularly since her trips home are typically without me and that she is always on the Internet, with IM and FB. WTF should I do? Please help and give some advice to get me through this tough period in my life. I know that I may have to ultimately leave her.

    • Ebenezar January 26, 2010 at 2:47 pm #

      Hi Timothy,
      Try this PC monitroing software, this should help.
      http://www.spytech-web.com/
      Good luck

    • FBcasualty January 27, 2010 at 3:27 pm #

      I was married for 14 years, two beautiful kids, and we had just built our dream home. My wife used to comment about married people being on FB and how “inappropriate” it was. Then one day I walk into our living room and she is on the couch with her laptop and I notice she is on FB. I reminded her what she said in the past about how it was “inappropriate” and she said, “It’s not like that. It’s just general stuff, ya know, ‘hi, how are you’, etc…..Besides, I am only really on here to network for my job.” Well, as you can imagine, her time on FB became more and more frequent. We used to watch t.v. shows together with the kids and talk and laugh, movie nights, game nights, etc…, but that ended because she would have her face glued to her laptop 24/7. I would watch shows by myself and/or with the kids and I would hear her in the other room giggling. When I would ask her what was so funny, she would say, “Oh, just something said on FB” or “so-and-so posted some funny pics.” She became very distant and when she would come home from work she would barely talk to me, eat dinner that I made, and then park her ass on her computer for the night. It became an obsession with her and it got to the point where I was caring for the kids, the house, and everything else. I didn’t exist in her mind. I was able to get on her page and I noticed that there was no pictures of me nor any mention of me at all. When I asked her about it she became very defensive and told me that she uses FB as a networking tool and she doesn’t feel the need to post pictures of us, etc….even though she had pictures on there of her and our kids, her and her girlfriends, etc… so it was obvious to me that her intentions were not “innocent”. Things went from bad to worse, she became very resentful of me, lost lots of weight, bought all new clothes, and exhibited every other behavior you find listed on websites that describe, “Signs of a cheating spouse”. A few months later I started catching her in more lies than I could count, but the “marriage ender” was when I discovered she was getting birth control injections behind my back and I was “fixed” after our second child was born. Thus, I filed for divorce and although last year was a very painful year for me, I realize now that, with all I uncovered about her, it was a blessing in disguise. So, after 17 years together (14 married) it was over. What amazed me was the speed of the progression (4 months) from stable, solid marriage to absolute destruction. I don’t blame FB, obviously it was the person using it that is to blame, because I know lots of people who use it for it’s intended purpose and have fun with it. I suggested all kinds of things to save our marriage from counseling to enrichment classes at our church and she would have none of it. I miss not seeing my kids everyday and I have lost everything, but I am free from the heartbreak and worry now and I am looking forward to the future.

      My advice to anyone reading this is trust your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. If your spouse exhibits behavior out of the norm suddenly, or starts obsessing with how they look, or closes out of their FB when you walk into the room, there is a problem. If they are on FB all hours of the day and into the wee hours of the morning and they don’t spend time with you or your family because of it, there is a problem and it definitely doesn’t promote a healthy relationship. I saw posts from my ex that were at 3:00am, 4:00am….it was ridiculous! It consumed her. She would tell me what I have read on here, “He’s just a friend”…blah, blah, blah. DON’T believe it, there is intent there and, in my opinion, that’s cheating. It’s disrepectful to you, their spouse, and if they won’t let you see their profile or start blocking people you know from seeing their profile, they are hiding something and it is not fair to you. Don’t internalize your anger, communicate with them and try to resolve the issue. If they get angry, defensive, and accuse you of “checking up on them”, then they are hiding something from you and a relationship cannot work without trust. If they refuse to quit what they are doing, then prepare yourself for the worst. If they start working late or don’t keep their regular hours track them with a GPS unit attached to their vehicle. You can find them at most online spy shops for a couple hundred bucks. Keep your eyes open…..don’t go into denial and think it can’t happen to you because I thought the same thing. Communication is key.

      My heart breaks for all the people I read about on these sites and I know exactly how painful it is. If anything, I find it very theraputic to read your stories because I can relate to all of you, I know where you are and how you feel, and it is good to know that I am not alone. FB is a virtual world where people that crave attention can get it. There will always be men and women on these sites ready to cheat at a drop of the hat and will pursue people whether they are married or not. The sacrament of marriage is a dying entity in today’s world and it is a shame. The travesty of it is that it is only going to get worse and worse in the future. God Bless you all and may you all find peace.

      • Ann August 3, 2010 at 3:33 pm #

        I feel your pain FBCasualty, I hope your future is brighter.

      • Gail November 19, 2010 at 12:40 am #

        FBCasualty, sorry sounds like my story, I am emailing my boyfriend this right now, he always makes fun of FB or atleast he used to now he fights to be on FB (late at night)!!

      • rob December 16, 2010 at 4:29 pm #

        fb casualty, ann and gail reading these posts brought me to tears for the last time. i have been with my wife for 20 yrs i am 38 yrs old and we have been through alot. but facebook and other adult chatrooms killed me. casualty your story is mine to the letter. it is sad that 20yrs 12 married and 2 young boys are not worth the computer to her. and even if she performs a 180 degree turn around ….can i trust her? well i know me and i guess not. your posts really hit home for me. thank you for sharing.

      • Michael January 29, 2011 at 1:38 pm #

        Thanks FB Casualty ” and i also believe that FB or some network chat room is the cause of destruction of a couple , because this would test or show her really color “who she is >> this for me really helps a lot >>

        • Michael January 29, 2011 at 1:43 pm #

          Thanks FB Casualty ” and i also believe that FB or some network chat room is NOT the cause of destruction of a couple , because this would test or show her really color “who she is >> this for me really helps a lot >>

      • Cat September 7, 2011 at 4:00 am #

        This is the issue that’s been eating at me from the inside..i found my bf flirting with girls on FB. He would say “you look sexy”, or “i’m looking for a serious relationship with you”. But wen i asked him bout it he denied sending such messages. He’ll say someone’s got his password and is using his account. I’ve just discovered this as he asked me to check some messages for him..I did not intend to snoop but his messages were almost the same; apparently he has asked for more than one girl for a ”serious long distance relationship”. I had to be the bad guy and PMed one of the girls…she sent him an angry message asking him to leave her alone if he’d already had a gf. He defended himself by saying it’s only harmless flirting and she took it the wrong way. It makes me sick that he keeps spewing the same sappy words he’s used on all the girls he’s hit on! I don’t know what to think anymore..I still do love him very much as he’s my first love and I’ve never cheated on him for the 2 years we’ve been together..I also found out about his son with his previous gf..I was so mad and broken hearted..I’ve lost all trust in men..no matter how nice he treats me, it doesn’t count if he’s doing it out of obligation..it’s near impossible to find an upright person in these times. My heart goes out for all the men and women who’ve had cheating partners. All the best y’all!

    • believe in you February 6, 2014 at 1:57 pm #

      omg i cant read anymore. if you are confused, there’s good reason, it’s your instinct sending you a signal. Listen, get out of the relationship. you are talking about your mental and physical health deteriorating due to all this stress. spring clean and get all negative people out of your life. you may not know it, but you project your stress subconsciously. This means your children are getting affected/neglected. Go to your most trusted friend/family member. Get a healing hugs and support. Eat a proper diet, this helps you think better, take ginseng for extra strength. Open your eyes. Your life and your health is more important than staying in an unhealthy friendship/relationship/marriage. Would you trust your buddy again if he showed you dishonesty? I don’t think so. You would never take his calls again, would you?

  15. Brenda February 6, 2010 at 11:02 am #

    My husband lies about sending hearts to other women, he denies going on it all the time- I have his password and found that he constantly plays these games,I know it was bad of me to do- and I confronted him about my decietfulness and told him i couldnt take this emotional cheating anymore as it has happened in the past. He knows how to delete posts as I showed him, and I am not on his send hearts list- I have no idea what else he’s doing.I have been so hurt by this- i wish he would just go out and get laid- so it would be physical- this is killing me mentally.In the beginning he only had pretty- younger girls as friends, I have a mish-mash, but mainly women my age- I started inviting young good looking guys- its terrible whats happening.My husband thinks cheating is only the physical act, flirting, porn dont apply.i dont know weather to close my account- I play farmville with my school mates and family and it is a great way to keep in touch.I dont know what to do- but I dont want to know what he’s doing online- Id rather be in the dark so i dont hurt anymore.

    • Mat April 29, 2010 at 3:13 am #

      I’ve gone through the exact same thing, I thought about it ALL day EVERY day. until I started up my own facebook and retaliated. I was never the type to do that but it really does eat at you, and how partners don’t give a shit to stop what they’re doing to they’re “loved” and driving them nuts. Only comes off as if they really don’t care anymore, so in turn makes us not care anymore until eventually it crumbles….often very slowly. In my experience I’ve put up with it way too long and should’ve gone while the getting was good. I tried leaving but let her sucker me right back into her lies. I say sit him down and have a SERIOUS talk about the matter tell him you want him to deactivate his account to show his devotion to you and install a keylogger on the computer, or every computer for that matter. And if he screws up again, film yourself with another guy and send it via facebook. Only to give him the same taste of insanity he has bestowed on you.

      • ED June 16, 2010 at 9:38 am #

        Yep Mat, I went thru the exact same thing, I ultimately got fed up and left the house for a night and went and spent the night with a friend. I have gone around the world with my wife and I think now she has just a taste of what I have been feeling. Its weird, it went on for about 9 months and I felt miserable everyday, but after I spent a night away from the house, I haven’t ever felt better and I think it was the knock in the head she needed. Maybe her knowing that I may leave for good brought her back down to earth, I don’t know. I still have very little trust in her and keep tabs on her all the time, it does suck.

  16. snowairheaven February 10, 2010 at 12:27 am #

    Two of my aunts got hooked on chat rooms, flirted, & it led to cheating and divorce. It’s not okay. It’s very disrespectful. It hurts the whole family: the other spouse, children, cousins, brothers, sisters, parents, friends. It’s sad & dissapointing. It breaks bonds of love, faith, trust & support. Giving your heart away to another when one has made a lifelong commitment is one of the ugliest things a person can do. Everyone has flaws, but cheating crosses a line that is extremely crushing. Consider watching fireproof, the movie.

  17. Charles Reves February 17, 2010 at 2:18 pm #

    In my opinion flirting is cheating no matter where it is, it could be on the street, on a letter or in this “FACEBOOK” thing.
    If you are happy with someone and you respect that relationship, you should never be flirting with anyone or allowing someone to flirt with you. Friends don’t flirt at each other.
    Flirting on facebook is very insulting to a relationship, it doesn’t matter how innocent the flirting could be, but it should not be happening it is just a big lack of respect towards your relationship and your partner. It creates Jealous feelings, it breaks down the harmony of our homes, it creates a heavy atmosphere and breaks hearts.
    All those things combined bring the relationship to the end.
    It happened to me, please do not allow your loved ones to go on FACEBOOK, it is the beginning of a disaster.

    • Mat April 29, 2010 at 3:22 am #

      I second that, if you want a healthy relationship avoid networking sites they’re just bad news and slowly lead you down a road of deceit and mistrust and will eventually devour your relationship and turn you into an ugly disrespectful human being in the eyes of your former love. Just isn’t worth it. Happened to me and now i’m all over every networking site out there lookin for someone to take my mind off a former love. Think I may have found an upgrade for a companion. but believe that IF it does turn serious I and Hopefully the new love will never look at a single flirt site again. Just go old school, people go out of touch for a reason, decide who you want to be in your life and stick to them. Jealousy is no more than feeling alone around smiling enemies.

  18. S February 25, 2010 at 3:16 pm #

    This is currently happening with our best friends, and it turned out the husband was having an affair with my partner’s sister-in-law. Very messy. Finally everything came out – they live in different countries but did meet in person when they could. This went on for a few months before they were caught. Hm. Yes. Exactly. Well my thoughts (as a woman) are if you are hiding something from your partner and chatting at midnight – you know it’s inappropriate behavior. And if you know that – don’t do it. Once trust is gone it is very hard to win back.

  19. Anniemae April 6, 2010 at 3:20 pm #

    Timothy it sounds like your wife just flat out wants to be single! Men and women you can already tell your spouse is flirting, cheating, avoiding you, lieing, and not letting people know you exist… and you think you need to spy on them and track them? They are cheating! Simply ask them what they would feel like if they caught you doing what they are doing on FB? If they love you they will realize they would be hurt if you did it. If they don’t stop then they don’t give a shit about you. Don’t sit there and put up with being treated like that! What is wrong with you people? If they are lieing, cheating, etc., then you need to tell them to get out! If you sit there and take it then of course they will continue hurting you. Don’t let them live a double life. If you allow them they will continue… they will come home and sleep with you and have you take care of the kids and work to buy them stuff so they can go cheat on you.

  20. JPA April 13, 2010 at 6:54 am #

    Guys and girls,

    Flirting on facebook is just like watching porn. Don’t blow it out of proportion.

    Not a reason to end a marriage, just try to understand the reasons.

    In the end you have to be pretty stupid to cheat using chatt, and in this matters women are not stupid.

    • travis April 27, 2010 at 3:09 pm #

      WATCHING PORN IS A REASON TO END A MARRIAGE. YOU DON’T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND THE WEIGHT OF THE SITUATION. AND ALAS, WOMEN ARE STUPID IN THIS MATTER. THAT GARBAGE ABOUT WOMEN BEING MORE DISCREET THAN MEN ABOUT LYING OR CHEATING IS NONSENSE. MOST OF THE PEOPLE ON HERE WHO HAVE BEEN CAUGHT CHEATING ARE WOMEN.

  21. Sarah April 13, 2010 at 11:30 am #

    Wow…I feel slightly better that there are others out there like me who feel that flirting on FB is wrong. My husband is on FB, I am not; I’m not that interested in talking to old aquaintances. My husband friended his ex, who I despise (during some of our worst arguments, he has told me how much better she was than me in every way, to hurt me, and how could I not hate her?) and he has been leaving flirty messages on her wall, telling her he still loved her and how she was the one that got away. He left the browser open with this stuff for me to find. Now she is messaging him back about how great and wonderful he was and how she misses him. I have demanded that he unfriend her, and he won’t! He has told me he did it just to make me mad and that there is nothing between them, but give me a break. I feel bad that so many people are having this happen to them, but I don’t feel so alone now.

    • Anniemae April 13, 2010 at 3:26 pm #

      So Sarah…. You heard him tell you she is better than you, you see him write to his ex how he loves her, she wants him, yet you are with him? So are you giving him the ok to act like this? It seems like he is hoping you will divorce him just so he can go to her, or that he wants to still be married and flirt/cheat on you with his ex and you are ok with it so he will continue. If you flat out told your husband that what he is doing is not ok and that it hurts you and he still continues do you actually think he honestly loves you????

    • baybay April 14, 2010 at 7:56 pm #

      Girl, I think in your heart you know what’s going on. Don’t try to candy coat the truth! He’s no good.

      Just ask you mom, or you girlfriends, or any other person in you life that cares about you. Tell them what you told us, and see how mad they’ll get? Because he’s WRONG. He’s not treating you with respect!

    • Carla February 3, 2012 at 8:44 am #

      After reading your post and others on here, I finally feel SANE for once. It validates what I have been observing for awhile. I don’t feel ALONE and that I am the crazy one because he is posting things to other women behind my back on fb. And of course, it’s not fb’s fault it’s the user who is thinking with his other head.

  22. baybay April 14, 2010 at 8:18 pm #

    My boyfriend likes to go on facebook a lot and look at pics of pretty girls from his job.

    He doesn’t hide this from me, but says he just likes looking at EVERYONE’S pics, not just the pretty girls.

    Anyway, there’s this one chick he was friends with when we first started dating. He liked her, but at the time she put him in the “just friends” zone, so he was satisfied to just be her friend.

    Anyways, when he started talking to me (before we were dating), all of the sudden she wanted to be more then friends, and had a makeout session with him. He’s kind of dumb when it comes to women, and this confused him, but I know it was because she was jealous and territorial of him seeing another girl.

    Anyways, long story short we became an item and he eventually lost interest in being “friends” with her. I love FB, and use it as a marketing tool (I’m an actress/model, and it’s a good way to keep track of directors and stuff), and eventually my BF made himself an account, too.

    I have a stage name (not my real name) and so most people in rela life don’t even know about my FB account, but this chick knew my stage name and hunted him down through ME! She started messaging him and asking to meet him for coffee and maybe come over to her house “like old times” telling him she missed him becuase he was such a beautiful person to connect with and talk to, blah blah blah.

    She basically told him she wanted to meet up with him alone (WITHOUT ME) so she can share “her journey” with him, or whatever. That just got MY claws out in an instant.

    I told him if he WANTED to meet up with her, I wouldn’t stop him, but I wanted to be there. I mwan, if they were “just friends”, why would she not want to meet me?

    He said he has no interest in really hanging out with her, but feels guilty at not being a “good friend” to her and keeping in touch (rolls eyes). He’s so clueless! He doesn’t see what kind of game she’s playing, trying to make him feel sorry for her so she can get her teeth into him.

    Now, this whole thing makes me quite wary of stupid Facebook…he was pretty honest with me about the whole thing, and we got eachother’s passwords, so he’s not hiding anything…But he’s got all these trampy women in the past who he used to be interested in but used him for male attention, and these hos hunt him down on FB all the time! So I make sure to put my prettiest pics up and write sexy messages on his wall, just to let them know “HE’S TAKEN, GO AWAY!!”

    And that still doesn’t chase them dirty tramps off!

    But I got my eyes open. I’m no fool.

    I’m smart. I don’t let everyone know what cards I’m holding. If he starts acting funny (trying to hide his FB stuff, etc), I’m gonna get myself a keylogger and fry his ass.

    Heck, he watches me (FB makes him jealous sometimes, too, and he thinks I don’t know it!). But I don’t mind because I got nothing to hide.

    Ain’t no shame to my game.

    • Carla February 3, 2012 at 8:49 am #

      Yep. Same here. The ho’s come in married and unmarried forms so watch out. Be aware.

  23. Allen April 20, 2010 at 1:17 pm #

    My wife FBcheated on me as well. Although, I was partly to blame. I am a very passive person. It all started out when she joined a Role Playing group on FB based on a series of books she had read. I had no idea what was in the books, the subject didnt interest me. Wish I had read them a little… they are based on greek gods and goddesses in the modern world and are very sexually charged stories. She asked me to join the group with her so that I could be her characters husband. This way she wouldn’t have to interact with another man, because, she explained, they play out their sex lives as well as their adventures. So, I joined to keep that from happening. Anyways, within days she was having cyber sex with one of the other characters. I had no clue, until she brought it up one night when we were being intimate. She thought it would spice up our sex? Well, me being the passive person I am, didn’t want to fight with her. I told her it was okay… thinking it wouldn’t happen again now that she told me. Stupid me. It happened twice after that. And I felt quite a bit to blame for it. So I told her how I really felt and left it up to her to stop, which she did, somewhat reluctantly. But she did not unfriend the other character, which really hurt me… and yes, I did let her know that it did hurt me. I even contacted the other character to let him know I found out what happened. She told me she would not have contact with him anymore. But I was still skeptic, so I installed a system surveillance program from http://www.gpsoftdev.com/ (I do NOT work for them and I do NOT recieve any money from them for this.) I installed it and watched what she did for a few weeks. She still had contact with him, but nothing sexual, but still a bit flirty, and she still checked up on his profile and had chats with him. Although the sexual chats were no longer happening, it still hurt me that she would contact him. The final hurt was when I know while I was talking to her from work about how I felt about the whole situation, she was chatting with him about how over-reactive I was to the whole thing and how bad she felt that she had to cut off their online cybersex. She would have never told me about that chat. I had to show her. The monitoring program takes a screen shot of the computer while it is on facebook every 15 seconds. All I had to do was show her what she said. It even captures every key she types into a log. I felt bad for having to install it, but it helped me to keep my sanity. We are now in marriage counseling and will be enrolling in an addiction class dealing with this subject.

    Bottom line for those being cheated on – Although what the cheaters are doing is awful, try to look into yourself and see what you could have done to prevent this. I was too passive and didn’t communicate well. I have been learning to overcome these weaknesses and to let my wife know how important she really is to me, to validate her concerns and to really listen to her. She has been weaning herself off of the Role Playing site, has appologized to me for what happened, and we have been spending alot more time together. She has not contacted the other character since I confronted her about it……. but I still have the program installed… obviously we both have some healing to go through. Mine would be trust.

  24. Adriene April 27, 2010 at 12:29 am #

    Facebook is the worst thing out there its hard enough as it is trying to maintain a healty loving relationship and now with this new invention it is a means to an end with all good relationships that are out there I myself have been experiencing this with my fiance says he closes his account but then reactivates and its not his buddy’s that he is really wanting to talk to, this is a sad day in the history of time for such technology to really take a nose dive adding nothing to our society but tragic human history to the stupid things that consume what is real and good if a person would just allow it. I myself will not put up with it anymore, I agree with the comments above Flirting is cheating no matter what it is what causes everything to start falling apart it is just the beginning, honesty I hope facebook ends up shutting down, enough people who are married or in a relationship will find out the hard way once it is said and done, as long as more and more people come out letting the public know how unhealthy it really is it will only hurt the facebook fad, God willing because our society needs help and getting rid of that thing will be a start especially for those who have families and children that are being sacrified for something so stupid in the first place!

  25. Lisa April 27, 2010 at 11:45 am #

    Well I have been married for 24 years and discovered my husband was messaging and emailing a bitch he went to highschool with and met up with through FB. I had to find out over Valentines weekend.

    I was out of town visiting my mother who had not been well. I had some suspicisions and I figured out his FB and email passwords. Needless to say I was devastated at what I was reading. He had stayed behind saying he would take care of our pets and home while I took care of Mother and that he would go out and get me something special for valentines.

    Well I got something special all right!!! A fat slut who describes her ass as 6-lanes wide with saggy DDs telling him how she gives blow jobs, and him saying he wanted to lay his head in her lap so those saggys could hang in his face and be sucked on!!! She was also sending him pics of her fat ass and saggy chest. Also discovered this wasn’t the only cyber whore he hooked up with and was emailing.

    Needless to say I came back from Mom’s and told him I wanted a divorce. About a week before we were to sign the paperwork at the lawyers he came into my room one morning and asked if he could have another chance. He didn’t know that I knew everything so I decided to see if he would be honest. He wasn’t…..he continued to lie so I told him there was no point in giving him any more chances if he couldn’t be honest.

    The divorce should be final in a couple of weeks. I wish there was a way to make his cyber whore pay for helping destroy a marriage and take a father away from his son!

    • travis April 27, 2010 at 3:05 pm #

      GOOD FOR YOU!!! A WOMAN WHO IS COMPLETELY HONEST ABOUT THIS CRAP, AND DIDN’T PUT UP WITH IT FOR A SECOND. I THOUGHT CELL-PHONES WERE A CHEATERS DREAM BECAUSE YOUR SPOUSE COULD CALL YOU, AND YOU COULD SAY YOU WERE ANYWHERE; WHERE AS A HOME PHONE, THERE IS NO DOUBT WHERE YOU ARE..BUT FACEBOOK TAKES THE CAKE. ITS CHEATERS HEAVEN, AND I AM SICK OF PEOPLE MAKING EXCUSES FOR THAT CRAP. YOU SEEM TO BE THE ONLY COMPLETELY SANE PERSON I HAVE READ SO FAR ABOUT THIS CRAP. THE OTHERS KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON, BUT THEY TOLERATE IT, AND WHINE. GOOD FOR YOU!!

      • Anniemae April 28, 2010 at 2:45 pm #

        Travis is so right. Men and women need to just leave. They are only giving their spouse their blessing to go and cheat, lie and treat them like dirt. Why would anyone want to live with someone who treats them like that? Trust me it doesn’t get better.

    • rob December 16, 2010 at 4:38 pm #

      lisa im going through the beginning of this myself i agree with you and hopes my wife gets what she deserves…. just one problem … leave the kids out of it he is still a dad although he pissed you off dont make things worse and put the kids in the middle. i have 2 myself and even though she has done what she done i would never think about taking her kids away. unless she was neglecting or abusing them. which she doesnt.

  26. Anniemae May 2, 2010 at 10:38 pm #

    People if you are blaming FB for your cheating spouse you are a moron! Let me guess… if someone at work/on the street/a friend/ etc…. went up to your spouse and told your spouse…”hey come have sex with me” and your spouse cheated on you would you be mad at the other person or mad at your spouse for cheating? If your spouse really loved you and wanted to make the marriage work they wouldn’t have screwed up by lieing and cheating!
    I honestly think tons of these stories are made up because I would hate to know that people (even the religious couples) could be so pathetic to blame a web site for their marital problems.

    • Lisa May 3, 2010 at 12:22 pm #

      My story is not made up. The hurt and pain is real and if you have reason to doubt it then keep those doubts to yourself. You aren’t being helpful to anyone when you make such comments.

      I’m not blaming Facebook, Classmates, Tagged, Plentyoffish or any of these other social networking sites. I only feel that sites like these and others have made it much easier for the scum we married and the crap they hooked up with to cheat.

      These sites have just make it easier to find and hook up with the people from their pasts that they want to delusion themselves about and believe that pastures would be greener.

      They think that it is all online and therefore easier to get away with and not get caught.

      You’re right. If they truly loved us they wouldn’t do it. So if you do catch your spouse cheating then kick them to the curb and tell them to get out. And doing this stuff online is just as much cheating as meeting and doing it in person. Cheating is in the heart as much as it is a physical act of the body.

      Spouses should go on with their lives. I am. I hope some day to meet someone worthy of everything I have to offer.

  27. Dave May 6, 2010 at 11:43 am #

    I just found out my wife of 14 years was likely FB cheating. I don’t know why but something made me get the WebWatcher program and BAM. First 2 days were eye opening to me. Had I been a little smarter I would have recorded more info. But, I was pissed and couldn’t contain my anger and confronted her. She had been communicating with old boyfriends for the last 4-5 years via email I found out, though not often. And since Feb 2009 on FB, again not too often that I could tell. But even one time without telling me – tells me alot.

    I feel like a royal fool as I could have cheated many times on her (plenty of offers) but didn’t. Many men and women who have previously posted here have really described well what I feel. Mainly very disrespected and like a chump. Since confronting her she claims these were only staying in touch type relationships – but I don’t believe a word of it. Why keep it hidden from me if this is the case? I can get over this and move on (divorce or otherwise). But our arguing has made our kids scared and sad. For that I will never forgive her. She made a conscious choice – she chose her old boyfriends over her husband and kids. Of course she now says she is sorry. I think she is only sorry she got caught. Any advice on whether I should dump her ass or try to work it out?

    • Anniemae May 7, 2010 at 6:57 pm #

      Dave, was she just talking to them or was she flirting with them? Men and women sometimes talk to old boyfriends/girlfriends just to tell them that they are so much happier off without them and how great their marriage is, etc.
      I didn’t see you put that she was flirting or trying to meet up with them. I would think it would be a little crazy for you to divorce her for simply emailing old boyfriends.

  28. Dave May 8, 2010 at 10:34 am #

    Annie. Yes she was flirting. I found out via email / FB / phone, this has been going on for 4 years in secret. Her old boyfriends don’t seem to be as financially well off so I believe she sticks with me for that reason only. What could possibly justify keeping any conversation with old boyfriends secret from your husband? There can’t be many husbands around who would approve of that. Even if it was only flirting, that is too much. By secretly flirting she has replaced or supplemented the emotional connection we have. That is one too many people involved in my opinion.

    If she wants any of these goofs, she can have them. We can work this out. But I am saddened for my kids. They are innocent here and will bear a significant emotional hit from all of this. That is 100% on her shoulders. She CHOSE to do this and keep it secret. No healthy relationship tolerates secrets like this. God knows what more I will find out as I now dig deeper into records, deleted emails, etc.

    Annie, have you walked in these shoes – been on my side of this with your husband? If so, I appreciate your insight and comment. If not, I am not sure you can fully appreciate the significance of lost trust.

    • Anniemae May 8, 2010 at 9:29 pm #

      Dave, honestly your first post did not give many details and only pointed out that she was communicating once in a while to the old boyfriends. Now that you point out the flirting through phone, FB, etc. I can see why you don’t trust her. You asked for advice on what to do and I gave you some advice. I have dealt with boyfriends in the past that have cheated but no I am not in a marriage that has had problems with trust. I have no idea what it is like to be shocked by something my spouse has done. I am sorry you are dealing with this and I hope your wife comes to her senses and tries to gain your trust back. Hopefully you are able to sit down and speak with her about the hurt she has caused to you and the children.
      Please keep in mind that not everyone on this site has been betrayed by a spouse on FB.

      • Dave July 8, 2010 at 3:03 pm #

        An update: After many arguments I insisted on a lie detector test. My wife agreed and took the test. I believe the testing was done professionally and is accurate. In summary, she did not have a physical affair, but did flirt. In my opinion she was “on the way” to an affair. Since that time we are in counseling and making some progress. What is maddening to me is that she still can not or will not come clean as to WHY she did this. We both took our spouse for granted. Intellectually I can understand why she reached out, but I also call that a weak action. I had my issues with her but didn’t resort to the secret communications – and as I posted earlier I have had many opportunities to do that. I am most disappointed with how this has affected our kids. She brought this into our home and it would take an exceptional man not to be upset and contain this away from kids. I am not that guy. So the arguing has spilled over and they are the innocent victims. Despite all of this, she still will not come clean as to why. I can only conclude that she still has feelings for her ex. I have told her in very clear terms that any minor slip in the future – any email, text, pay as you go phone, etc. communication with any guy I don’t already know and we are done. I am 50/50 on whether we will last or not as a married couple. I now monitor all money she spends, every phone number, web sites visited, etc. And I insisted she drop FB and any other social networking (i.e. cheating) site. If this sounds harsh – tough cookies. She brought it on herself.

        Ladies, big clue….if you communicate with guys secretly behind your husbands back don’t give the lame excuse when caught that “I didnt tell you because I thought you would be upset.” That is the most bullshit answer possible. Of course he will be upset – that goes without saying. Own up to the truth and you will be better off. My wife tried that path and now she has to endure a long time of scrutiny and suspicion until I can regaain trust, if that is possible. If she had come clean – and admitted (which she still won’t do) that she still had feelings for the guy and that is WHY she kept it secret, we could move along to rebuilding a lot faster. Her reluctance to come clean with her motivations is what is dragging this out a lot longer than it otherwise would.

        • Michael January 29, 2011 at 2:13 pm #

          Dave Brother I agree with you ” yup just flirting in FB with EX boyfriend ,nothing much ? why she kept it secret ” what would happen next if you had not discover ? there you go ” >> Same here 100% trust had been gone maybe 50/50 .. it still pisses me off everytime i remember what she had did >> affected my work , affected my emotion affected everything , for the past 1 week that i have discovered she was doing this ” i have no appetite to eat , cant sleep , everything >> and i always had nightmares ,my room mates say that i moan everynight ” thats the effect >> Being a good husband and a father ” this is what i get ” Damn “

  29. Sean May 11, 2010 at 7:44 pm #

    Facebook and other social networkings sites are a lot of fun & useful. Having said that, they are definetly not healthy for a marriage, especially one that may have problems already. I know this from experience and am now divorced. In a marriage with problems, it will lead to an emotional affair and most likely a physical one. Sorry for the bad news, but FB is not good for a marriage that is not rock solid & based on faith in God. I use it all the time now, but I am extremely careful about talking to women friends that are married. Good luck!

    • littlegiz July 5, 2010 at 10:30 pm #

      Very good advice. My husband seems to have come to his senses and told his Facebook friend that he loves his wife and wants to concentrate on his marriage, without communicating with her. He gave me the password for Facebook and his email as well. The trust will have to be built back up. It is just too easy for people to act out when they are lonely, angry or just looking to get into trouble. I have no interest in “hooking up” with some dude that I had a thing with back in my younger years. I want a loving relationship with my husband, not some fantasy island shit with an aquaintance.

  30. jaygee June 26, 2010 at 7:12 am #

    Facebook gives one a huge chance to contact old lovers and rekindle some old sparks……be careful if your significant other is on facebook alot. Seen a few of my friends mess up their marrages through facebook.

  31. littlegiz June 30, 2010 at 9:59 pm #

    I recently discovered that my husband was flirting with a woman on Facebook. My husband had to leave state to work and I had just gotten home from visiting him when I discovered a message on his wall from a woman that I have never met. He said something lame about having a crush on her when he was younger. His next message (on his wall where all of our mutual friends could read it) said that he has been separated from his wife for six years and suggested that she send him a message on his email. I was livid! This woman is a person that he vaguely knew in Jr. High School nearly 40 years ago, who just happens to be very attractive and divorced. I confronted him and he said that he would take the message off and apologize on his wall for acting so stupid. He never did. A few weeks later I discover that he has been texting his Facebook friend and some other woman at all hours of the night and day. I called both of these women and told them that they were carrying on an online/texting relationship with my husband. He said some very mean things to me like ” you should not have snooped in my text messages/ she has paid more attention to me in the past month than you have in 10 years/she is just an old friend, nothing more/ I never even talked about sex with her, we talked about hugging. I am just heartsick. I have been with my husband for 15 years and he has never acted like this or treated me so poorly. Every time I think about him texting these sluts at all hours of the night and day, I want to cry. We are talking at this time but my trust has gone out the window. I will be asking that he give me the passowords for all of his email, Facebook and other online accounts and that he erase all phone numbers and text messages associated with the women. He will then be calling the Facebook friend, while I am sitting next to him, and tell her that he is married and has disrespected his wife. If these changes do not take place, he can go to Hell. I am worth more than that. I would not even consider coming onto another man, whether it was online or in person. This so called flirting shit is for the birds. The woman that he flirted with on Facebook seems to be looking for male admirers to boost her ego and claimed that she had always liked him. That is a pretty lame thing to say to someone that you briefly knew when you were in 7th grade!

    • Susan August 29, 2013 at 4:45 pm #

      hello, I just found this website & have been reading all of the posts. Yours touched me the most & I followed all of your posts. I have to ask now that a couple of years have passed…..What ended up happening with you & your husband in Florida? Are you still together or how did it all work out for you?

  32. Lizabet July 9, 2010 at 11:27 pm #

    My boyfriend is doing the same type of shit. He used my computer to check his facebook account, and quit the server without logging out of it. I went to check my own facebook account, and it was automatically logged into his. I looked at his messages, mainly because I knew that he was talking to his ex-girlfriend occasionally, who is gorgeous, and, might I add, married.

    Come to find out, just a few days prior, they had been messaging each other about “sexting” and sending personal photos and videos to each other. He also gave her his phone number and told her to call him anytime. After reading it I was trembling from sheer upset and anger. He had left my house a few minutes before I went on fb, and I immediately called him and confronted him about it. He came back to my house, declared that he felt awful, and that it would never happen again. However, this isn’t the first time the issue has come up with her. I’ve seen photos where he compliments her on how good she looks, how beautiful and successful she is, etc.

    AND, this fucker wants me to move to another state to be with him (he was in town visiting me when all this happened). I can’t, and don’t want to control his activity on facebook; I’m pissed because of the whole principle behind his actions. He says he’s over her, I have no reason to worry, and that I’m being irrational. And then he still has some motive behind complimenting her and sending her sexual messages.

    What to do?

    • littlegiz July 10, 2010 at 9:52 am #

      I dont know what to tell you. My husband is now sending ME constant text messages (he hasnt posted on Facebook since I caught him in May) declaring his love and apologizing for his jacked up behavior. It hurts really bad when this shit happens. Trust is so hard to get back. The sad part about it is that my husband never behaved like that until this recent course of events. My husband has been working out of state due to the rotten economy in our area and that probably put us at more risk of having problems. It sounds like your boyfriend also lives elsewhere. Facebook just opens to door to a fantasy land if someone doesnt have their shit together. The woman that my husband had the Facebook flirtation with is someone that he barely knew when he was in Middle School who later became a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader! Of course she looks great! Who wouldnt want to fantasize about hooking up with her? This broad strikes me as someone who craves attention from men and was obviously willing to carry on a long distance flirtation with a married man, just to make herself feel special. My husband is also to blame for not behaving like a married man with a committment. Fortunately, he came to his senses and told her (while I was sitting next to him) that he made a mistake and is reconciling with his wife. I wish you the best. Please listen to your gut and dont make a move unless you know that your man can be trusted again.

    • spark92 May 29, 2013 at 7:07 pm #

      My boyfriend is a barman and started chatting to waitresses at work. He told me they were friends and I believed him.I began to feel uncomfortable as he Fb messaged a very attractive waitress nearly every day it was not sexual but it was flirty. He got her number and started texting her. Started bitching about me to her a girl I had never met! I told him to stop and it seems like he has but I cant help feel he fancied her and just did it because I said to. Its been nine months hes been fine and I have never noticed anything on his fb or phone but i still cant forget I dont think you ever can even if they do change. You will always feel like it could happen again.

  33. Jonathan HArt July 13, 2010 at 2:20 pm #

    If you are in a serious relationship and you feel your partner is behaving “inappropriately” on FB, LET THEM. I define inappropriate using the average persons definition..which is flirting, sexting….and doing it secretly.

    If your women is gonna cheat, she is gonna cheat. Letting her play out her little FB fantasies (usually with her exes) can boost her ego, increase her sex drive and enhance your overall relationship for the better, BUT only if you choose to accept and embrace the concept as opposed to being jealous. Make it a game…ask her…”so how is your FB boy toy doing today”? You can turn it into harmless and exciting fun.

    I understand it takes a big paradigm shift in most peoples minds, but it does boil down to a simple choice on how you perceive it.

    Good luck.

    • littlegiz July 13, 2010 at 9:28 pm #

      If it was a boyfriend that did the “flirting” I may not have been so upset, but it was my husband and I was very hurt. The Facebook flirt turned into 1 1/2 months of text messages and email messages. I have no idea what they were actually saying to one another but I suspect that they werent talking about the weather. Since their communication has come to a screeching halt, my husband has been all over me like a cheap suit. I love the attention and the sex is great. Either he got his mind spinning with the Facebook flirting or he realized what he was risking by hurting me. Either way, it is not cool for someone in a comitted relationship to have private, personal communications with someone of the opposite sex.

  34. zoe July 14, 2010 at 7:03 pm #

    my significant other of 18 years doesn’t know how to use a computer (strictly a motor-head; but he can take an engine apart & put it back together blindfolded)… and doesn’t even know WHAT facebook or classmates or myspace IS…. that stop him from cheating??? answer: NO!!! he went through that 50′s middle age crisis and felt he needed someone younger to prove he was stile desirable & “young”… HA! i have always loved him, but…

    i left him a just over a year ago, but then i got very ill for a couple of months sooooo…. he left the one he was cheating with to care for me (thank GOD)… and now i’m back! we actually get along really well now (better than before) but i know there were plenty of times when i was away from him i felt like reconnecting with a couple of old boyfriends and wahwahwah to them about my “terrible life” at the time. i never did and i am SO thankful because i know it could have led to something more. it’s TOO easy to “be” with someone you’re not face to face with… especially to complain about things and fantasize about how things could be… when are people going to realize life is NOT (should not be) about sex??

    a cheater is a cheater is a cheater… but i really think facebook and the other networking sites make it so much easier ~ people who would not otherwise cheat; are… just because it IS so easy!! of course we’d all like to believe the grass is greener but as my partner now admits it sure sure isn’t… i don’t know that i’ll ever trust him 100% (probably not) again, but now that he has realized how much he missed the “wonderful little things i did” for him daily… and who really LOVES him for who he is and not for what he has… he still apologizes to me every day.

    anyway, it’s perfectly alright to chat with people from your past… the difference is if you or your partner have to HIDE what you’re saying to people online; there’s definitely a problem!

    i feel so badly for everyone out there on the crappy end of this :*/
    time… and sometimes forgiveness heals (most) all things.

  35. Jonathan Hart July 15, 2010 at 2:44 pm #

    There is no doubt that if caught by suprise, finding out your partner has been having FB relationships with exes, sexual or not, will hurt nearly anyones feelings. As the prior post noted, FB opens many doors that would have never existed to cheating. Someone who may have never cheated may be enticed once they are FB’d by an ex. Its human nature. Even if you are relatively happy in your marriage, nothing can replace (especially for women) that feeling of being chased and or wanted by the opposite sex. Of course thats where a innocent little communica can morph into a cheating incident. Men inherently will tell a women anything they want to here, empathize, listen, bla, bla, bla. Anything to get in her pants. This is not news. Most women however respond emotionally to this type of attention whether they know better or not. And it is unquestionably exciting for a, “stay at home Mom”, for example, to sit behind a PC and harmlessly be wanted and live in what is a semi fantasy world. The temptation is almost too much for someone to resist. So if you are not the type of person that can live with your spouse having some virtual fun, BOTH of you should stay off the social network sites all together.

    • zoe July 15, 2010 at 4:11 pm #

      Amen Johnathan!

    • littlegiz July 15, 2010 at 7:35 pm #

      I go on Facebook all the time and have never gotten into intimate conversations with my male friends or exes on the site. I love my husband and the thought of enticing or coming onto another man is not cool. I think it is dangerous to flirt when you are married because it can lead to all kinds of problems. Of course the fantasyland friend is exciting because you dont have to put up with the everyday issues that are part of a committed relationship. My husband has told me that his Facebook friend wanted to “take the relationship further” and this led to him cutting off contact with her. It probably didnt help that I called and left a message on her phone reminding her that she was carrying on an email/text relationship with a married man. It will take time for me to trust my husband again and I am still very hurt that he behaved in such a way.

  36. GummiTomm August 27, 2010 at 5:53 pm #

    why not just give your parkner your facebook password and get theyr password in trade? I have a girlfriend wich i love veeeery much, but i am dealing with sum trust issuse, not because of her or anything its just something inside me that tells me that most girls will cheat, i am probable having theys issuse because my mother is very unfaithfull and when i have been single i have had a lot of attention from girls that are in relationships. The girl i am dating now is the only reson why i have intrest in relationships, if it was not for her i think i would just stay single.
    But one thing tho, that i would like to ask, Why is it like everybody says it is a bad thing too investigate if your girlfriend is honest or not? Why is that bad, if you have some kind of reson to think she may be cheating i think you should try to be sneaky and find out, because if you dont you will just feel really really bad and i think that feeling can ruin the trust and relationship.
    If my girlfriend would have some kind of reson for thinking i might be cheating on her i would want her to try to be sneaky and find out instad of feeling bad about it and keep it inside and try to trust me anyway.
    Because if she would try to find out she would find out that she was wrong. I think we all have fair sometimes of our partner cheating, and if you have fair for any reason you should in my apinion look in too it,

    I will be giving my girlfriend all the information she needs too bust me, like my facebook password, and msn passwords, she can read my phone messages when ever she likes, i wont risk keeping a secret with someone else over the trust of my relationship. I think that should build her trust for me, she could also see when i turn some girld down if they are trying to flirt with me and that would just be a bonus for the trust,
    And with me being this way i think she will trust me and feel better about us.
    But what do you think?

  37. GummiTomm August 27, 2010 at 5:57 pm #

    sorry about my english, i only learned the languadge in school and i was not the best student in that class :)

  38. littlegiz August 28, 2010 at 8:35 am #

    GummiTomm, I agree with your comments. After I busted my husband with the tons of text messages (of course I couldnt read them but found the proof of them on our phone bill), I told him I needed his Facebook and email passwords. He gave them to me after insinuating that I already knew what they were. Obviously, I did not have his passwords prior to that or I would have read several messages back and forth with one of the women that he was communicating with. His 300 text messages back and forth with two women had been deleted before I even discovered what was going on. The sad thing is that he had told me last Fall that his “first love” had found him on Facebook and they had sent each other several messages back and forth. He let me read them every time she sent him one and I found that she is a very nice married woman who is honest and upfront. They both talked about their spouses and children and it was not sneaky in any way. When my husband was out of state working for several months, that is when he was “found” by another long lost schoolmate who just happened to be a gorgeous, divorced woman who seems to be trolling for attention from married men. He took the bait and this started a two month email/text message long distance flirt. I am still having trouble trusting him and find myself checking our phone bill online every week. He can check whatever he wants to on my end because I am not a cheat. I keep having this creepy feeling that he may have “hooked up” with one of the women he was text messaging, since she lived really close to him. I also get the creepy feeling that he would have had sex with the long distance woman if I had not caught him. I am working on my trust issues but it is not easy.

  39. brittany September 7, 2010 at 8:58 pm #

    i just found out about 8 hrs ago my husband of three years was chatting with women on fb… i found out the whole truth all these women that he was talking to… he denies any connection other than the asked for a friend request and he accepted… but the truth came out today…. though many of these women live in different parts of the WORLD, he has been having sexual conversations and one even said if he wants he can go to her house in canada and they can have some alone time…. i cant believe it…. im mind blown right now i want to cry but cant manage the tears anymore…. i dont know what to do….i need help…

    • littlegiz September 7, 2010 at 11:07 pm #

      It is hard to deal with. I have been in therapy and still find myself checkng our phone bill and FB and email. I just got another kick in the gut today. I reminded my husband of how much his texting the other woman hurt me and he told me that she “has lots of experience” since she formally worked as a stripper and a phone sex worker! WTF! He claimed that he “doesnt even know her last name” and that is a lie. I found her business card in his wallet with her full name and the number/address to her current employer,which is a local college. It doesnt help that this little tramp is 20 years younger than him! My husband keeps making the excuse that he was lonely working out of state and this woman showed him attention. I have a hard time believing that he texted her at all hours of the night and day but never touched her. Is is possible for a man to text sexual messages back and forth with an attractive young woman and not have sex with her? She lives very close to where he was living when he was working out of state. I am going to keep working on our relationship but the hurt and lack of trust are still there.

  40. bradley September 10, 2010 at 1:50 pm #

    Great site to help with the pain and anger we all feel. My 32 year old wife of 7 years and mother of our two kids 2 and 3 years old had an physical affair last year. The loser was a punk 20 year old college kid whom she met at her part time job (to get out of the house). They had a 3 month affair in which she slept with him a total of 4 times. I found out last christmas when I found a naughty card from him in her purse. For mostly the kids I stayed with her and for the most part we have rebuilt our marriage. I now keep track of her and have access to her facebook and email without her knowing. She does not know but I discovered a few months after the affair that she had been flirting privatley on Facebook with some guys for over a year. She had even went out with one of them a few months before the physical affair with the young college punk. At least from what I saw it did not get to physical sex and only over the top flirting and some very raunchy talk. It apparently ended badly for them before anything physically happened because he had stood her up when they were to meet up a few times because she would not guarantee instant sex with him. She broke it off with him in an angry private message and removed him as a friend. Refreshingly she is currently almost never on facebook anymore and when she is its to talk to family members only. But to my disbelief she still has some of the flirt guys still listed as friends. One of which she has started to talk to again. He is a radio personality in his 40′s and married in our area. The good thing is that I saw she had told him last year during all that crap that she did not want to continue to flirt with him but wanted to keep him as a friend only. From what I currently see he emails her once a week with normal emails about how she is doing and how the kids and her family are. With her doing the same. This may be innocent but by what she did I hate her keeping the Facebook account. At least I feel all of these guys should be off her account no matter what was said or done. she may have not have met and hooked up with the college punk on Facebook but I think flirting on Facebook for over a year and meeting a flirt guy desensitized her enough into having the affair. She is the last person you would think would have an affair or so I thought. I Love her but I can never completly trust her again. And with all I know about what she did last year I am going to keep an eye on her for a while until she proves to me that I can stop checking up on her.

    • littlegiz September 12, 2010 at 9:14 am #

      Wow, I am sorry that you had to experience this pain. After I caught my husband texting two women obsessively for nearly two months, I deleted their numbers off of his phone and “unfriended” the woman that he flirted with on Facebook. My husband was working out of state when he was carrying on this crap and blamed it on being “lonely”. He was so stupid that he flirted openly with one woman on Facebook and many of our friends and relatives read the stupid message that he wrote. After I told him how tacky that was, he apparently told the woman to contact him via telephone, text or private email. Since I caught my husband, he has been very kind and attentive but I still have trouble trusting him. I have this nagging feeling that he might do it again if he has to work long distance again. He lost his job one week after I caught him with the obsessive texts and has had no income in over two months. I find myself wondering if he would have pursued a relationship with one of the women if he did not have to depend on me financially. I hate that I dont trust him. I love my husband dearly and he doesnt seem to understand how hurt I am. He told me yesterday that men have a tendency to pursue sex with other women and that it does not mean they care about that person. I am sure that he would be crushed if I did the same thing to him.

      • Bradley September 13, 2010 at 1:27 pm #

        littlegiz the hurt will be there for a long time. I know I still hurt but am learning to deal with it day by day. I do not know your husband but if he is that blatant to do things out in the open and even with you knowing it shows me he must has some issues that you both need to discuss and maybe even get marriage counseling to try to save your marriage. To say that every man has a tendency to pursue sex with other women but it does not mean that they care for them? What? I agree that all men to a point have fantasies about sex and other women but that’s where it stops. To take it to the next level to hidden, and overt flirting, and constant contact with other women because he feels lonely on trips is outrageous. If he is so lonely on trips can’t he bring you along every now and then? Can’t he call and text you whenever he gets lonely? That is a lame excuse for looking for other female attention and possibly more. I have never had an emotional of physical affair, and do not flirt with other women especially ones that I know want more than just friendship. I am married and act like it and to me once your married or in a serious relationship that is where the childishness of all the flirting and needing outside attention should end. Give him a chance but keep your eyes and ears open.

        • littlegiz September 13, 2010 at 6:00 pm #

          Your comments are encouraging. I also do not flirt with anyone since I love my husband and do not want to create problems in our relationship. I think that my husband has avoided talking about his behavior because he doesnt want to be reminded of how jacked up his behavior was. He doesnt seem to understand that I cant just say- oh, he’s sorry and it is all OK now. That is the problem with cheating (or intending to cheat). There is fallout from the lies and lack of trust that does not just disappear because the cheater gets caught or fesses up. He keeps claiming that he “is not that type of guy”. He had a one night stand in Mexico City ten years ago while on a business trip. I accidently discovered this several months after it occurred. We were having some problems at the time but I did not think that he was going to act out in such a hurtful way. He begged for forgiveness and I dealt with it pretty well. Now he expects me to just forgive and forget and go on with our life together. I dont want to beat a dead horse but I feel insecure and scared that I will be hurt again. This is not fun when you have made a lifetime committment and you get kicked in the gut.

          • Bradley September 14, 2010 at 7:31 am #

            Your telling me no matter how bad it got between us I never cheated emotionally or physically on my wife. I had a few opportunities to do so and passed on every one of them because I refused to destroy our marriage and put our kids and her through that type of pain. Because of whom she is as a person I just never thought she would have done that to me. It’s very similar to your situation in that my wife wants to forget last year ever happened and to move on. But for me at least I feel like I am the only person who lost in all of this crap. She got to step out of our marriage and have outside experiences maybe not great experiences for her but experiences nerveless. The flirt guys on Facebook got to flirt heavily with my wife, and that punk college kid actually got my wife in bed. I on the other hand have lost the innocence of our marriage in that will never come back and I can never fully trust her no matter how much I have forgiven her. That she can still once a week contact a past flirt gut on Facebook even though I see there is not one bit of flirting between them still bothers me. Because I know who she really is I do not believe she will ever cheat on me again and from what I am seeing it looks like she has to a certain point changed her behavior. But to me at least she is still playing with fire in keeping contact with the A-hole on Facebook. And I will tell you this if it starts to go too far between them I will refuse to put up that crap again. I refuse to feel that everyday extreme hurt and pain I felt from that time period ever again. I will leave her in a second without a second thought no matter how much I still love her for the sake of my kids and sanity. Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me. If that’s the one piece of advice I can give you is that you have to make him feel that if he does anything to you ever again you are gone. He will never respect you and change his behavior unless he feels he will lose something. He has cheated physically on you in the past and was most likely trying to do so again. And at the very least he was cheating emotionally on you. If he wants you to be his faithful wife than he needs to start acting like a faithful husband. Like I said before give him a chance but make him prove to you he has changed and always keep your eyes and ears open.

  41. littlegiz September 14, 2010 at 7:46 pm #

    Thanks, Bradley. I too am hurt by the loss of innocence in my marriage. When my husband first moved down to Florida to work, one of my friends (who divorced her cheating husband) asked if I was worried about him and I was kinda offended. I actually thought- what is wrong with her, my husband would never behave like her stupid ex! When I saw the flirty Facebook messages I was very upset and then got the real whammy a month later when I discovered the text messages. It then dawned on me, is my husband a lying cheat? I have been doing some reading online about risk factors for affairs and discovered that we had a few of them, including living apart and him being exposed to “temptation”. My husbands roomate in Florida has never been married and knows nothing about committed relationships. I have also read some crap suggesting that men are much more likely to cheat because it is somehow in their nature. I dont believe that but my husband does. I guess morals and self control are non existent in some people? I know many men who have been married for long periods of time who have never stepped out on their wife. My husband has two job interviews this week in Florida and I am anxious about this, even though he insists that he made a mistake and will never repeat the bad behavior again. I am glad that I know the warning signs and I have told him that I am not willing to ever go through betrayal again. It hurts too much. I want to respect him and trust him again but he will have to earn it.

    • Bradley September 15, 2010 at 6:48 am #

      Good for you much like your husband my wife will have to earn my confidence and full trust back. She may not be doing anything horrible now but because of what happened I ask myself what if she gets another part time job and finds herself attracted to someone else? What if the talking online gets out of hand again? I will not put up with it ever again. I know she is remorseful in what she did last year but I do not believe she regrets it. For her to still have an online life no matter how miniscule it is after all that happened shows me that. She got everything she wanted and has in a sense reconnected to me stronger than before. Like I said before I feel that I am the only one who lost in all of this. I still love her and will be there for her. But for a while at least my eyes and ears are open for any signs of trouble until she proves to me that I have nothing to worry about.

  42. littlegiz September 15, 2010 at 10:10 pm #

    Bradley, I know the feeling. My husband has made several comments about feeling very bad about texting the two women. I just wonder if he would have felt bad and come to his senses if I hadnt caught him. I guess I will never know the answer to that. He has told me that he doesnt give a damn about those women and never thinks about them at all. I dont understand that. He made the effort to text them more than 500 times and lied by ommission by not telling me what was going on. He risked losing his wife by acting like a bachelor but he doesnt have any feelings at all for the women he was coming on to? I wouldnt waste my time texting some man 20 times in one day if I didnt have feelings for him. To think that I used to wait until my husband got to work in the morning before I would call him, and then I discover that the 30 year old ex stripper was texting him all night long! He started texting me sexy messages after we reconciled and I am sure that he got lots of practice doing that with his “female friends”. My husband is kinda shy about talking dirty so I knew that his communication with the other women got him going down that trail. I need to start doing things to get the negative thoughts out of my mind. Reading the comments on here lets me know that I am not the only one going through this crap.

    • Bradley September 16, 2010 at 7:11 am #

      Your right after reading all of the stories on here it puts things in perspective. Anybody at any time can cheat and it’s not just the natural born scumbags. I never thought she would have done that to me and I truly believe she would never do it again or I would not still be with her. It’s still hard some days and it hits me like a freight train when all of the sadness and the pain I feel comes back but you learn to deal with it. Like I said before I don’t know your husband but to me you would have to feel something especially testing and contacting somebody that often. But then again I think men to a point can carry on like that without becoming emotionally attached. I think women put all of their emotions into an emotional or physical affair while men can pretty much just say and do what he can to try to get that woman thinking of him and maybe get them into bed. I think you are right you in that you have to think about the positives and push out the negative thoughts. I have to a point forgiven my wife but I have not forgotten what she did. I still see that she emails a couple of guy friends online and that makes me uncomfortable. But at least these conversations are only (how are you doing, how’s the family, how are the kids type of conversations). To me that at least shows she has taken some steps to change her behavior and try to erase what happened. But for my peace of mind for a while I will continue to monitor her behavior online to see if she is moving towards real maturity and not just easing into moving into something a lot more disturbing again. I think its all about trust and like I said before it has to be earned. Think about the positives of your relationship with your husband and go on from there. But never forget what happened and keep an eye out for the warning signs.

      • littlegiz September 17, 2010 at 8:44 pm #

        Bradley, do you ever find yourself getting kinda paranoid and suspecting that something is going on? I just spent 9 days in Florida with my husband and had a great time. We went down there ostensibly to pick up his motorcycle and drive it back to Michigan. My husband has not worked since losing his job in Florida in early July and has been sending out tons of resumes. We never got the chance to drive the bike back because it needed a new tire and I got nervous about driving so far on the back of the bike. I flew home last week and he remained there with the plan to fly home as soon as possible. My husband ended up getting three calls for job interviews and met with all of them this week. I told him to make a plane reservation right after his last interview today. I got a text message while I was still at work telling me to call him and that he cant come home until Monday night. Well, I have called him three times and got voice mail and have left two text messages with no response. I just got done writing him an email asking him if he has any intention of coming home. I told him to just tell me the truth and quit “jerking my chain”. Since I pay the phone bill, I checked the calls and texts for yesterday and noticed a phone call to a Residence Inn in Sebring Florida. Sebring is about 140 miles from his friends condo and he has no relatives or friends that live in that area. I am beginning to get upset and suspicious. Last night he sent me seven text messages telling me how much he loves me and misses me. Today I put money in his account since he was broke and now I cant get ahold of him. This feeling really sucks. If he couldnt get in touch with me, he could be certain that I was not doing anything wrong. I hate being paranoid and suspicious but this is the result of his betrayal two months ago. I dont want to ruin our marriage by questioning everything he does but where the Hell is he right now? Have you gone through this?

        • Bradley September 19, 2010 at 10:46 am #

          I can honestly say that I have not gone through the exact situation you are describing but yes I will tell you that I am very paranoid in some of the things my wife does. First about your situation as you are in a pretty bad predicament right now. In a sense you cant watch over him 24 hours a day because it may alienate him and push him further away. But I think he needs to be more compasonate on how you are feeling and more supportave because of the things he did to you. The phone call to the hotel could have been nothing or it could have been everything. There is just no way to know what he is doing especially when he seems to be blowing you off when you need him the most. I hate to say this but if he is down there any longer or if he gets a job down and stays down there you may want to hire a private detective to keep an eye on him. As bad as that sounds it may give you the truth and what he is or is not doing and give a peace of mind that will help you heal. I can honestly say that to me it looks a little suspicious but I am biased toward the negative because of my situation so you may want to get some other perspectives also. Now on my situation my wife and I had a discussion last night about friendships with the opposite sex. I told her I would never put myself into a situation where something could happen such as hanging out and getting to close, playfully flirt with the person, or going out with them alone behind her back. She said that there is nothing wrong with having opposite sex friends and that if they were a good enough friends why could she not get close and hang out with them. After long discusion I think I got through to her on why this could be a problem and where that type of behavior led to. She told my she has been talking to a high School friend online (which I already knew about) and told me it was as friends only and nothing even remotly resembling flirting has happened between them. (True as I have seen the messages) She said he is in a bad marriage where his wife is acting like a college kid partying all night drinking and probally messing around on him. My wife told me she has zero attraction to him but that she feels bad for him and is mostly just giving advise and examples on what to do and not to do because of the things she did. (True as I have seen so far). (All of the messages I have seen between them say that she regrets how far she went andwould never consider hurting me again) I feel a lot better now she has opened up to me on her online life (which I know she was not doing anything from monitoring her) but having it come from her mouth helped me alot. But she did say something that really disturbed me though. She brought up how she could see herself open to the possibility to a open marriage. WHAT? She did say that it would keep everything fully open between us and if I was ok with it she would maybe consider it. I SAID NO I WAS NOT OK WITH THAT. I told her that was a sick idea especially as we have two young kids. Our daughter is 3 and I told her do you want her to do that and be dependent all her life on loser guys. It seemed to me a light went off in her head right then and she said well since I was not ok with it she would never consider or let it happen. It seems as if she had never thought about all of her actions this past year could be learned and transfered to our daughter. I truly believe in my heart she is because of last year unsure of who she really is. But bar none she is a good mother and would never do anything to harm or childen and I think she finally realized that her actions could harm her children has seemed to have finally snaped her back to reality. All I can say to you is that you seem to be a good person who like me is in a pretty messed up situation. Be strong and take watever steps you think may need warrented. I think much like my wife and I had last night a long discussion between you and your husband may be needed to get everything out in the open.

          • littlegiz September 19, 2010 at 11:38 pm #

            Well Bradley, I was feeling really grateful that I didnt have to deal with actual sexual acting out by my husband until I got hit with a sucker punch tonight! My husband went to a 12 step meeting today and Suprise!, his text message tramp was there. He claims that she looked awful and said hello to him but he blew her off and walked away. He claims that this is the first time that he has seen her since I discovered the texts in late June. He then made some really odd comments about how she better just leave “us” alone. I kept asking him what he meant and he finally said that he thinks she is angry that he blew her off and she may try to contact me to cause trouble. I asked him several times if she would have anything to tell me that he hadnt already confessed to. He kept saying no and I asked ” would you admit to it if you had sex with her” and he said. ” why would I want to tell you something that would just hurt your feelings?” I flipped and started yelling and calling him a liar and a cheat and hung up the phone. I cant stop crying and am sick to my stomach. Bottom line, my husband met this young tramp at a 12 step meeting, they knew each other for a month and during that time they sent about 30 text messages back and forth and apparently had sex. I feel like my husband is a dirty, sinful creep. How could he even think about behaving in such a dishonest, unfaithful way? He has now sent me about 7 text messages begging me to forgive him. I responded with, ” do you want me to forgive you for having sex with the woman or lying about it?” I feel like someone has ripped my heart out. I want to ask all cheaters, is the rauchy sex worth all of the pain and heartache that it causes? I sent an angry text back to my husband asking him if the p–sy was worth it and told him to have a nice life. I dont know if I will be picking him up at the airport on Wednesday night.

  43. littlegiz September 19, 2010 at 11:47 am #

    I found out yesterday that my husband spent the night at a hotel with his buddy, who had to attend a conference and rented a room on the ocean. He claims that he fell asleep and this is why he did not return my phone calls or texts. I was so upset, I turned my phone off and went to the gym and the beauty shop and found 10 messages from him when I turned it back on. My husband has a fourth job interview in a couple days and will be flying home the next day. It seems like I do OK when we are together but the past week has been rough with me in Michigan and him in Florida- three blocks away from the hootchie mama that he carried on the text affair with! I am going to therapy next week and plan to invite him to join me. I dont want it to be a gang up on hubby session but I think we need to discuss a few things in front of a professional. My father, who I love dearly, cheated on my mother and has had several girlfriends at a time since my folks divorced. My husband has made comments over the years about how wrong it is for my dad to behave in such a way. When I was leaving Florida last week, I asked him to kiss me in public since I didnt want to leave. He acted really shy and said something really strange. He asked me why my sister (who I do not speak to) divorced her husband. I believe she divorced her husband because she was having an affair with a schmuck. My husband stated, ” I think that she divorced him because he is a very nice guy. I am afraid if I treat you like he treated her, you will hurt me and kick me to the curb”. I just about fainted! My older sister and I are polar opposites and I was pissed that he would even suggest that I would do such a cruel thing. I have read recently that sometimes cheaters try to “gaslight” their spouses when they have done something wrong, in order to take the focus off of their heinous acts. Gaslighting is trying to make someone think they are a little crazy or that they have done something wrong. I have never considered my husband to be a manipulator or devious person but I found his comments to be really weird. I did not make him text those two women and I need him to act in a trustworthy manner to rebuild our relationship. While he has been gone, I have had some sick thoughts like calling up the Florida girl and flat out asking her if she slept with my husband. I wonder if it really matters. What is the “deal breaker” for me? My husband has admitted to sending sexual messages to the Florida woman but claims that he only texted/talked/emailed about his family and relationship to the woman who lives in Michigan (his Facebook friend from Middle School). I thought that it was common knowledge that discussing personal issues with a member of the opposite sex is very risky when you are in a comitted relationship. I have always known this. Either he is unaware of this rule or he was flat out looking for a relationship with the woman (or he was lying and actually sending her sexy messages as well). I have tons of male friends and talk to them in social settings. I do not text or send them private email messages. I do not share intimate details with them at any time. My husband belongs to a 12 step support group and this is where he met the young tramp in Florida. He admitted to me that he was complaining about marital problems and financial problems and she “connected” with him after the meeting and asked for his cell phone number. I told him that this kind of behavior is considered “shopping for attention” when you discuss these type of issues in front of strangers. Bottom line is, I love my husband and want our marriage to get stronger but I am being troubled by thoughts of the racy texts and his lusting after two other women. Maybe I need to see the therapist more than every other week at this time.

  44. littlegiz September 19, 2010 at 11:39 pm #

    I meant 300 text messages!

    • Bradley September 20, 2010 at 7:16 am #

      Wow it looks like your husband is a serial cheater to me. Two women he has taken to bed in the last 10 years and a ton of private messages to them and others. I have to tell you you have the patience and the understanding of a saint. If he truely loves you and wants the marriage to work he must to go to the counseling sessions with you. There is something deeply wrong in his thinking and behavior and I think he needs to address them before he will ever be faithful to you. Like I said before everyone has racy thoughts but it is the taking of the thoughts to the next level that seperates a civilized mature person from a immature cheater. He has shown to you that up until now he has had little respect for your marriage or the willingness to change his behavior for you. If you choose to give him another chance and try to work on your relationship with him he needs to prove to you he is going to change. 1) He needs to be completly honest and not hide things from you no matter what. 2) He needs to go to counseling with you and be involved. 3) He needs to understand that you will not tolerate anything ever again and will leave him if he ever does anything again. 4) He needs to give you full access to all of his online accounts and text messages to others. I know number 4 is asking alot because even my wife keeps that part to herself but because of his serial patern of cheating he must do it to save your marriage. What I am trying to say is that he needs to prove that he is worth being your husband because up until now he sure does not act like it. On a side point I do agree with your rule of not discussing intimate details of your relationship with the opposite sex. That is the number one point of contention I have with my wife right now. She has shared and does currently share personal things with some of these online man friends that she has gotten close to. She has even admitted thats how it got out of hand with a few of them last year with the online sleeze she had raunchy conversations with and the college punk she slept with at her workplace. But her point of view is that she should be allowed to have opposite sex friends and not be forced not to just because she is married. I told her its was not wrong to have opposite sex friends but there had to be a limit on what could be discussed, the line of no serious flirting, and how you should not let yourself get too close with them. I just hope I got through to her and showed to her what that type of behavior could lead to. I know she knows because of what happened last year. I can only hope that she follows what I said and not just brushes it off and continues in her risky behavior. For the time being I will still keep an eye out on what she is doing until I feel completly comfortable in not having to do so. As I have said it before and have said to her in our conversations on what she did. If I ever find out that she is doing something wrong behind my back again I will be gone.

      • littlegiz September 20, 2010 at 5:30 pm #

        I am going to copy your most recent post and forward it to my husband. He texted me all night long begging for forgiveness and I told him several times that I am broken hearted, crushed and bewildered. I cant believe that the man that I pleged my life to chose to have sex with a sleazy tramp who he claims showed up at his place with her underwear on! I know that he is trying to deflect some blame on her by referring to her as a nut and a loser. My response to that it, why would he choose to have intimacy with a low life? I am sickened by the thought that our so called “love nest” (his term) was the site of him betraying me. I just spent ten days sleeping in the bed that he probably had sex with her on! EWWWW. It is refreshing to hear that there are men who do not think that cheating is just a typical behavior for most men. I have nobody to share my pain with since my therapist will not be available until Thursday night. If I make the mistake of telling any family or friends, they will hate him and think that I am an idiot for staying with him. I disclosed this to my friend at work who experienced something similar with her husband, and she seems to think that most men will cheat if given half a chance. That makes me sad. I used to think that we had something so special and that my husband was a really goody two shoes. Now it looks like his insecurity and need for attention were more important than his integrity and our relationship. Sad.

        • Bradley September 21, 2010 at 7:23 am #

          You husband needs to follow those four steps and tehen some if he is serious in repairing his relationship with you. This also has to be it the final straw for you also. No more forgivness or understanding if he does not follow through, or does this crap to you again. As I said before you seem to have the patience and the understanding of a saint and he needs to count his lucky stars that you have not thrown him out by now. He will have to earn your trust and respect back now. As hard as it is, you seem determined to try to make it work out with him. The ball is in his court now and it will be up to him to prove that he realy wants your relationship and marriage to work. I have always heard that givin the right situation that most men will cheat. To me thats only if they put themselves into positions to cheat. If a person has an alcohol problem they should not hang out in bars. It would then only make sense that if a person seems to need the other sexes attention, thinks they could be tempted to cheat, or has little self control over themselves they should 1) not be alone with, 2) do not take any type of contact information, 3) or flirt online or in person with the opposite sex. If a person does not put themselves in a bad or awkward situations then they can avoid the temptation to flirt, become emotionally involved, or cheat. I truely wish you and your husband the best of luck and hope that he can address his serious problems and make things right with you.

  45. thegiz September 27, 2010 at 10:14 am #

    I have been trying to take it easy the last few days and concentrate on my marriage. I informed my therapist about the confirmation of the incident and my husband will be going to see her with me this week. I currently have anxiety about my husband returning to the “scene of the crime” since he has to work in Florida and rent from his buddy. I go through periods of being fine but every couple days it hits me and I just want to explode. The thought of him laying down with another woman makes me want to puke. He did not get drunk and wander into a bar and pick up a floozy. He me the woman at a support group meeting while complaining about how lonely he was and sharing some problems that we were having in our marriage. I keep comparing myself with the other woman, despite the fact that he has told me repeatedly that he doesnt care about her and never did. The thing that eats at me is the fact that they texted back and forth over a period of 3-4 weeks and he picked her up and took her to the apartment he was renting, which he refers to as our Love Nest. I am supposed to go to see him every weekend until he finds a job up here or I decide to permanently move to Florida. Will I be able to forget about her laying with my man in the place where I am expected to relax and enjoy time with him? I never realized how much this would hurt me. I dont want to alienate my husband by constantly complaining or harping on the subject but it is very hard to deal with the betrayal. Does it get better? Will I ever stop comparing myself to the “other woman”? Will I ever stop wondering exactly what took place betweent the two of them? Will I ever trust him when he swears that it will never happen again?

  46. Wondering September 27, 2010 at 1:13 pm #

    I am wondering. I am reading these posts and starting to feel sick to my stomach. My husband and I have been married for 11 years. Before me, he was dating another girl. She’s the “one who got away”. I often think that if she didn’t leave him, he would have married her. I mean, he still has pictures of her that he can’t bring himself to throw out. I love him very much and we have a good marriage, but FB remains a bone of contention. This girl “friended” him about 10 months ago. They “bumped into” each other at a music festival that he went to with a friend (I wasn’t there). He won’t give me his FB password, and he gets very angry if I ask to look at his pages when he’s on. I don’t have a FB account and have no interest for one. He says that I’m acting paranoid. I do talk to him about it and he says it’s nothing, but my gut says different.

    • BlackSheep January 8, 2011 at 9:15 pm #

      Hmm this is a little scary. The one that got away. Those loves never die.

      But, here is the good news – you are the one that has him now! And to keep things in the circle of honesty: Screw him, he better hand over the daminet pass words! I call BS on this one, if you are married, there is no secret computer world. If there is nothing to hide then hand it over. If he wont, then he is hiding something! Agian, married, secret computer world, uncomfortable spouse, questionalbe activity = bad news!!!!!!!!!! Hand over the pass words schmuck!

  47. thegiz September 28, 2010 at 9:21 am #

    Listen to your gut. My husbands misbehavior started when he was “friended” by his first love from high school last fall. They exchanged several private Facebook emails to each other and he let me read most of them. Things went askew when he had to move to Florida to work and an “old friend” from Middle School found him and started sending him messages. This proceeded to them texting and emailing each other for nearly two months as well as my husband choosing to cheat on me with a woman 20 years younger than him that he met while working in Florida. I am trying to pick up the pieces of my marriage right now and it is very painful. As soon as I discovered the obsessive texts and confronted him, all communication stopped with both women but I didnt find out the truth about the “one night stand” until last week. My husband gave me all of his passwords for everything and he knows that I have checked email and Facebook several times since. Married people should not have secret friends of secret communication with a member of the opposite sex- it only leads to trouble and heartbreak- take it from me!

  48. No Skanks Allowed October 10, 2010 at 9:46 pm #

    My ex and I recently broke up over a skank on FB. For the past few weeks I have had an uneasy feeling that he was up to no good. I checked his account and I noticed one particular chic kept replying to his status updates. I became suspicious and checked his messages….sure enough I came across a message where she asked for his number and he obliged!!! Talk about devastating! I asked him about her and he denied that she was even a FB friend! At that point, I knew it was over between us because he lied, so that meant there was much more to their story. I am hurt, but I know I’ll be better off w/o him in the long run!

    • BlackSheep January 8, 2011 at 8:54 pm #

      You dumped him because he gave out his phone number???? OMG, thank goodness you let him out of the cage, he was probably smothering. Geez lady

  49. Bradley October 11, 2010 at 9:03 am #

    I have always heard that Facebook does not destroy relationships and that it would have happened sooner or later if Facebook was not around. But my answer to that is that Facebook makes it so easy for people to cheat and hook up. Its all too tempting to add an old flame or a crush you had years ago as a friend. Or you see an friend or the opposite sex you had in high school or college you feel you just have to add to your friends list. It starts when everyday type conversations get more and more personal, goes to flirting, and ends up raunchy. In the end it ends up either two ways. Some people end up having an emotional internet affair. Others end up hooking up with the person in real life. The internet can be a dangerous place for certain types of people because most people who would never talk or act in a certain way in real life do so online. To them its all fun and games and they tell themselves its not real. But the emotions are real and real people do get hurt You tell yourself that it’s not real? Go ask your husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend if its not real to them. I have told my wife multiple upon multiple times you would never put up with me flirting or sharing intimate things with women online. So why did she do it? I personally do not do it because I do not want to hurt or betray her trust. Like a fromer drug addict or an alcoholic I do believe she is taking the steps she needs to take to change her life. But I am not stupid I know she still has a lot of man friends on her friends list on Facebook. But the good thing is that she only talks to one of them now and the conversations are innocent everyday type things. Because of all of the crap that happened between us I am still emotionally scared and in the end she will have to completely prove to me I can fully trust her. Facebook if used correctly is not bad as I have one myself and do not add past flames or crushes or flirt asnd live an online life. But sadly used incorrectly like most people use it it will eventually hurt or destroy their relationship.

  50. littlegiz October 11, 2010 at 5:29 pm #

    My husband got into the same fantasy land. I now think he started getting ideas when his “first love” found him on Facebook and sent him some messages one year ago. He had told me about her and had not seen or spoken to her since he moved to our state many years ago. My husband told her about his family and she told him about her husband and three children. My husband told me about this woman and let me read nearly every message that she sent him. There was no funny stuff going on and she seems to be a decent, honest woman. I didnt know it at the time, but apparently this woman and her husband were in Florida when I was visiting for the first time in the spring. My husband sent her a message asking if she and her husband would like to meet us for dinner and I guess the husband wasnt too thrilled about it. All Facebook messages between them stopped at that time. It was about one month later that my husband was “friended” by an acquaintance from Middle school and the inappropriate emails and texting began. Facebook, text messages, emal and other types on electronic communication are a cheaters paradise. Frankly, my husband is a shy man who has rarely said blatantly raunchy things to me and we have been together for 15 years! Imagine my shock when I found out that he was sending sexual text messages to at least one of the women and he had only known her a couple weeks when that started. The one that my husband had sex with was formerly a phone sex operator so she is pretty skilled at getting somebody going over the phone. I dont believe that things would have gone this far if my husband had to actually talk to these two women in person and have an actual relationship with them. Now, every time I get a sexual text message from my husband, I get this creepy feeling that he said the same thing to the young hussy that he had sex with. I know that it will take time to recover from this and he will have to earn my trust back.

  51. Bradley October 14, 2010 at 1:17 pm #

    I think for most people before the flirting, emotional, and physical cheating starts its all begins with simple conversations with past flames or friends. The computer world is to most people an escape from the real world where they can do and say things to others they would never say or do in person. The fact is how many past flames or friends from the past will someone meet again in person in their lifetime? Maybe a few but then its hello how are you doing type of conversations and then moving on with their lives and never seeing them again. But on sites like Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter you can speak to them whenever you want and because its a virtual world maybe take things to the next level. Like I said before the conversations get more and more personal people start sharing intimate things about each other and then some innocent flirting goes beyond what they ever would have dreamed of. Once the bonds of a relationship are broken there can only be two options leave or try to work it out. sometimes leaving is the best option sometimes trying to work it out is the best option. It really just depends on the person and relationship. Like those who are trying to work out things with their straying partners my wife will have to earn my trust back. It will never be the same and I know that. But if your partner is sincere and wants to change for you and really is sorry for what they have done they will do whatever it takes to make it right with you. I do believe my wife regrets the things she did and the way she acted or I would not be with her now. But like I said before I am not a sucker and will not tolerate any more indiscretions again.

  52. littlegiz October 14, 2010 at 5:12 pm #

    Yeah, the cheater can tell the other person whatever they want about themselve and create a little fantasy land. I found out recently that a couple of my husbands relatives called my sister in law after they saw the blatant flirting with the middle school acquaintance on Facebook. They asked her what the Hell was going on and she had no idea what he had done. I told her about the texting stuff but will probably never tell her that my husband had sex with the woman who lives close to him in Florida. All of our friends and family members think that my husband is “not the type” to cheat and lust after other women. If he is not “the type”, why did he do it? Sometimes it just kills me to walk around and act like everything is OK. I would never tell our children what happened since they would be so disappointed. I dont want them to lose respect for my husband or lead them to think that marriage is not a real committment. I have been reading that it takes at least one year to really start healing from infidelity. I guess I have 8 more months of this crap before I can start feeling some relief.

    • BlackSheep January 8, 2011 at 9:01 pm #

      Tell everybody, he is the schmuck! He is the one that needs to feel ashamed and humble himself and regain your trust. You do not need to sulk around like you did nothing. Just tell one family member to get it off your chest. Pick the blabber mouth of the family and tell them not to tell anyone! The whole blasted family will know by the next morning, but it will be a hush hush. They will all feel sorry for you and think he is a major schmuck. Anyone that belittles you for not leaving him is also a schmuck. You have kids and you have to do what you have to do. I think everyone deserves second changes and when there are kids involved, pride takes a back seat. Many sacrifices for our little ones. Lastly, I would not want the kids to know either, ever – protect them from dad’s bad decision. Good luck, you sound like you are doing lovely, he is soooo lucky to have you, hope he is kissing that A!

  53. Just Me October 21, 2010 at 8:32 pm #

    didn’t this kind of problem already started long time before FB was introduced, when people were still just using ICQ, MSN and Yahoo Messenger?

    • BlackSheep January 8, 2011 at 8:47 pm #

      Uh yeah, and prior to that the meeting in the ol hardware store after purchasing an extra sack of feed that week just to plan the “meeting” in Mrs. Barnes back pasture for Thursday at 1:00 pm.

  54. littlegiz October 22, 2010 at 4:41 am #

    It probably did but it has exploded through Facebook. Some people get on there just curious about what has happened to old frineds and some people go on there looking for some action. It all depends on the person. Facebook just makes it easy. My husband was “friended” by a gorgeous red head and it started a two month flirtation and text relationship. He tried to blame it on the other woman but he took the bait!

  55. Mark October 23, 2010 at 3:56 pm #

    My GF of a couple of months and I were at home 1 night drinking together and watching TV. Needless to say I had a little too much to drink and passed out on the bed about 10 feet from the PC, which is located in the kitchen. A couple hours into my sleep I woke up to find her on FB in a Chat with some older man(1st thing I noticed was the avatar/pic portion of the chat window, then I noticed the chat…through her off the chair onto her fat ass then read the whole chat …..she was cybering this mfer….not only that she was telling him how she would f**k his friends and shit…I copied and pasted the whole chat and mass emailed it to everyone on her friends list. Turns out, by means of her brother, and “her” as well, that this guy is a distant cousin, married to her father’s cousin.(her father committed suicide a couple months before her and I met) After recieving the email of the chat her mother called my home and she told her mom how she is depressed(she is on paxil) and she wanted to do what her father did(commit suicide). The police were subsequently callled and she was held for 2 days at a local hospital for observation and then released.

    The most disturbing part of this story, is that she supposedly hasn’t seen this low life since she was 12(he lives in CA, we are in NY) And also she maintains that she has never even chatted with him FB or telephone in years. She claims that she just drank too much and blacked out and doesn’t even remember the chat or even the police ride to the Hospital.

    Needless to say, I have lost absolute trust in her. I know about her past with an ex boyfriend of 6yrs that she has cheated on some years ago with his neighbor and blamed it on heavy cocaine use during college and now she blames this FB incident on her being drunk. Now I am stuck dealing with the key-loggers, going through her phone when she’s not looking, etc. crap. Now 3 months later(we’ve been a live-in couple for 5 mos- I know it’s not a decade long marriage as some of these posts but I love her and want to settle down)she wants to hang out with her girlfriends, including some who she told me are currently having an affair, and go out for drinks and thinks it’s ok.I told her I will need time to regain her trust, and if the nasty-whorish shit she pulled was anything more than keys being typed on the keyboard she would of had to take a taxi back home(she doesnt drive). Just having a hard time with her wanting to go out and have drinks aka “the culprit of this whole incident” with these whores she calls friends. I know she was what us men call a “whore” years ago by doing what she did to her ex bf but it was college years…she is 30 and I am 34 now.

    Just wanted to share and vent….

  56. littlegiz November 3, 2010 at 10:45 pm #

    Well, another fight has started with my husband tonight. I just came home last night after visiting for four days to celebrate his birthday. He has to work out of state and cannot leave for longer than a weekend since he is new on this job. I was checking the phone bill before paying it today and noticed two text messages from far away and it turned out that they originated from his high school girlfriend. This is the same woman that found him on Facebook last Fall and whose husband made her stop sending him messages via Facebook. The two texts came in the middle of the night on his birthday and neither one of us heard the phone make any noise. My husband did not text or call her back but he didnt bother telling me that she sent him two texts in the middle of the night either. I sent her a text asking her if there is something going on between her and my husband that I should be aware of. I have not gotten a reply. I texted my husband and told him that I do not appreciate the fact that this woman sent him messages while I was laying in bed next to him. He claimed that she sent him some prayers for his birthday and that he did not send her any messages back. He asked me not to be mean to his “friend” and suggested that I call her if I have any questions or concerns. I reminded him that I am still very sad and that I dont trust him, especially since he had the one night stand with the younger woman just four months ago. I looked at our bill just now and found that he sent his “friend” three text messages after talking to me. I just got a text from him saying – love you, good night. I did not respond and have no intention of talking to him until he apologizes and comes up with a valid reason why he has any communication with this woman without informing me about what is going on. I have been reading a lot about how to heal from infidelity and one of the main points is for the cheater to be completely transparent. If there is nothing inappropriate going on, there is no reason to hide anything. I have gotten several messages and friend requests from old boyfriends lately and the first thing I do is tell my husband and forward the message to him. I have no intention of getting something going with my high school sweetheart or any other former flame. Is my husband just an insecure, middle aged, idiot?

  57. tom November 13, 2010 at 8:11 am #

    well this guy joe delvecchio hasbeen contacting my wife through facebook for months. At innapropriate hours. If anyone like to contact him his number will be up soon. Remember alienation of affection.

  58. littlegiz November 13, 2010 at 10:47 pm #

    Tom- your wife must have accepted him as a friend or he would not be able to keep posting things on her site. My husband tried to blame it on the woman from junior high who “friended” him on Facebook, but he responded to her messages and had an online/text relationship with her for nearly two months. He also had a one night stand with a young lady that he texted back and forth with while working and living out of state. Any personal communication between married people and members of the opposite sex is not cool and tends to lead to problems. My husband cut all of his contact with both women as soon as I caught him but the trust is very hard to get back. I wish you luck with your situation.

    • Gail November 19, 2010 at 2:00 pm #

      I made it a rule for myself no ex-boyfriends on FB as friends before I ever got with my boyfriend now. When we got together through facebook, we never dated or anything I just knew him from HS, he was single and I was too. But half the girls he had as friends were girls he dated or liked through work, and yes when these girl”friends” had problems they would want his opinion and they wished they had someone like him who understands them unlike their boyfriends/husbands this really stroked his ego, he started acting like he’s walking the dogs late at night so I wouldn’t think anything and then he got into gaming late at night so I never thought anything “bad” until he needed to print something on my printer and had to open up his gmail we’ll he left up his email, and he was not only flirting with 2 girls one I knew from HS who was married but another girl who was single and wanting to go out AGAIN for drinks. Then he saved every chat from a 19 year old punk kid, who had earings all on her face he always made fun of people like that and thought they were disgusting, but this is the girl who he told he loved and wanted to be with, he’s 34 she just turned 19, I was so confused he wanted to fly her out to vegas so the can just HANG OUT, LOLOLOL, I printed most of these chats and made a PDF cause I knew he would deny and still today he denies and I have proof, he constantly fight when I see any punk headed girl with piercings. He finally got rid of his FB and MYSPACE but he was cheating on me through gmail chat so they have so many ways to cheat it’s scary, I have no trust left in me, I want to end it every time we argue.

  59. tom November 20, 2010 at 8:16 pm #

    Joe delvecchio home wrecker: 210 9015085

    • BlackSheep January 8, 2011 at 8:34 pm #

      Oh San Antonio number!

  60. littlegiz November 21, 2010 at 9:18 pm #

    I am tempted to print the name, phone number and address of the woman that my husband cheated with but I just cant do it. She is a crack head who is an emotional basket case so why should I add to her misery? My husband has been on the straight and narrow ever since he was caught but I am still hurt and angry about the cheating and the fact that he lied repeatedly about having sex with her. He didnt fess up until he thought she was going to call me and tell me everything. I really have to make an effort to keep thoughts of them having sex out of my mind. It is very depressing.

  61. CMAC13 November 28, 2010 at 12:04 am #

    Same thing just happend a few hours ago…Got on my boyfriend of about 4 months computer to check my email, facebook ect. So when I go to get on my fb he’s already logged in…in my eyes…when in rome…so I was looking through his messages because the relationship has developed very quickly with feelings and all that. So I see a message where he had found this older woman looked like a manly body builder he was talking to. These conversations took place while I was in a relationship with him. It just started with my ex finding and adding her on fb…she told him she has a hotel in Indianapolis, king size bed ready for him. He replied that will be a lot of fun for us. She then gave him her number and told him to get up there so they could have a sex romp. My ex then goes on the give the days he works and hours and says he will text her, and he will make it up there that week. so I read all this ask him wtf is the deal and he said I know its wrong, I was just joking I never intended on going up there I was just flirting no big deal….pretty explicit for just being a joke…he said he liked the attention and to have his ego stroked…so he never told me any of that and that was on OCT 24…..so then I kinda look around some more and found that he is on cougar hunter .com and I asked him if he was on that last week and he lied and said no….come to find out he very much is on there…his excuse ” I didnt know how ” “I wasnt on there enough to do it” I mean if you felt bad like you said you did about the first incident that website profile would have been down already….I care about this guy but it seems like he likes to live in the greener pastures…

    • BlackSheep January 8, 2011 at 8:31 pm #

      He likes to get freaky and he is going to stray. It is soooo gonna happen. If you don’t have kids with this schmuck, pick a fight, pack your stuff and get the hell outta dodge. This guy is bad news

  62. CMAC13 November 28, 2010 at 12:08 am #

    Same thing just happend a few hours ago…Got on my boyfriend of about 4 months computer to check my email, facebook ect. So when I go to get on my fb he’s already logged in…in my eyes…when in rome…so I was looking through his messages because the relationship has developed very quickly with feelings and all that. So I see a message where he had found this older woman looked like a manly body builder he was talking to. These conversations took place while I was in a relationship with him. It just started with my ex finding and adding her on fb…she told him she has a hotel in Indianapolis, king size bed ready for him. He replied that will be a lot of fun for us. She then gave him her number and told him to get up there so they could have a sex romp. My ex then goes on the give the days he works and hours and says he will text her, and he will make it up there that week. so I read all this ask him wtf is the deal and he said I know its wrong, I was just joking I never intended on going up there I was just flirting no big deal….pretty explicit for just being a joke…he said he liked the attention and to have his ego stroked…so he never told me any of that and that was on OCT 24…..so then I kinda look around some more and found that he is on cougar hunter .com and I asked him if he was on that last week and he lied and said no….come to find out he very much is on there…his excuse ” I didnt know how ” “I wasnt on there enough to do it” I mean if you felt bad like you said you did about the first incident that website profile would have been down already….I care about this guy but it seems like he likes to live in the greener pastures…what do you think?

  63. Rarewolf November 28, 2010 at 8:38 pm #

    remember dont jump to conclusions.
    but if its REALLy obvious. dont ignore it.
    its not something to take lightly.
    i would of decided to end the merriage.
    but idk how itd be. im single so i have very low experience in this 8P

  64. Gteapot November 30, 2010 at 12:29 pm #

    Reading your stories, I take comfort knowing I’m not alone. My eye opener cam Wednesday before thanksgiving. Like most of you my husband left himself logged into facebook. I saw that he had comments from a women he went to middle school with. They had reconnected on FB. I knew that they exchanged comments and he would give her advice, he would fill me in on her always. A few months ago, my gut told me that she was going to be a problem and I told my husband that my exact words were “Be careful, she is wacky and I can see her crossing the line and when shes does and I find out I’m going to be pissed. Little did I know, she had already crossed the line.

    So on Wednesday when I opened facebook and was on his page I noticed a comment by her that just irked me, not too flirtatious, but enough to start my head going. Later that day when I was signed in as me, I went to leave him a comment and notice I could not see her comments. I asked my secretary about this, she is very FB savy. She said I think your blocked. To be sure she went to his page and could see her comments. So now I wanted to see what else she was doing. When I got home I went back into his FB and saw she had sent him a private message and his response was not something I would have expected of him. I sent him a text message, stating that We needed to talk about his private messages and also sent her one from his FB letting her know that I found the messages and flirth with my husband was not cool, I was a wife who cared and that was the end of their friendship.

    When my husband came home, I confronted him about what I saw. He appologized for upsettiing me, he could not give me a good explination for his response, but as far as I had seen it was the only inappropriate response he had ever given her. When I asked about her blocking me, he had no idea, he though I could see what he could see. So he signed into my FB and saw that I could not see her as his friend or any of her comments. To his credit, he deleted his FB when he saw that. Over the course of the next few days and discussing the situation, he told me she had sent him inappropriate message to his email account. Each time he told her he was happy at home. But she persisted. To my thinking she must have felt like she was invited in. And she was in someways, during the summer we were having problems and he spoke to her about them, (I was not happy to hear this- But I understood he needed someone to talk to), well she saw that as a in and took advantage of it.

    She did reply to my email. On his account she just responded with I flirt with everyone. To me she told me I was parinoid and crazy. That she had been friends with my husband for 35yrs. Now I”ve been married 25 yrs and never heard of her until 9month ago, so friend she was not. I killed me not to respond to her, but I’m taking the highroad. If she tries to get intouch again, he has said he will not respond. Up until now he has never given me a reason not to trust him, so I’m going on faith. But I still feel so disrepected, it’s going to be a tough road.

  65. littlegiz December 1, 2010 at 12:25 am #

    Gteapot, your story sounds very similar to mine, except that my husband ended up cheating on me. He had been “friended” by his high school sweetheart over a year ago and let me read most of their messages back and forth. She is happily married and now a friend of mine on Facebook. My husband had to move out of state to work about nine months ago and we were going through a really rough patch. He was then “friended” by a woman that he barely knew from Middle school that he had not seen or spoken to in 35 years. I have been with my husband for 16 years and never heard of this woman. Imagine my shock when I saw the message that she posted on my husbands Facebook wall saying that it would be really nice to spend time on the beach in Florida, which is where he is working and living. My husband had claimed that he was separated and I guess she took this as a free pass to start an email/Facebook/text message relationship. This went on for nearly two months and my husband ended up having a one night stand with a much younger woman that lives close to where he lives and works. As soon as I discovered the rampant texting, he stopped all contact with both women and we are working very hard at our marriage. I was crushed by the whole sequence of events and I believe that it was prompted by the Facebook communication. My husband obviously was flattered by the attention he received from the Middle School acquaintance, especially since she is a gorgeous, divorced woman who used to be a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader. I have a lot of friends on Facebook, including a couple ex boyfriends and old school chums. I wouldnt dream of carrying on an online or real life affair with any of them. I am still so hurt that my husband betrayed me, even though I know he loves me. I really think that Facebook can put relationships at risk and it is not worth the heartache.

  66. Pup December 17, 2010 at 1:08 pm #

    I Have something to share with everyone. Hope you can help me on what to do.

  67. MALIKG December 22, 2010 at 8:39 am #

    HELLO ALL OF U ALLWAYS HAPPY AND ALLWAYS SMILE .I LIKE GOOD PEOPLE AND I LIKE TRUTH PEOPLE

  68. stacyflor December 22, 2010 at 2:09 pm #

    I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. He sais he hasn’t proposed because of money. He recently opened his new barbershop and opened a new facebook account (he sais to promote his business) I had caught him messaging girls on his phone in the past like- show me more cleavage, and talking to a bottle service girl over the phone, and show me a good night- to all of this he has given me excuses and makes me feel like I’m the bad one for looking at his phone. I recently had this gut feeling. So I checked his e-mail account and found out that he has been flirting with 5 girls on facebook saying things like- you look good in your pictures, what are you doing tonight,come see my new shop. One that really made me mad was him talking to an ex- by the way a very ugly girl- he sent her a message saying… can we fuck tonight? she replied…sorry I can’t I’m at my sisters house:(. His excuse is that he did this to see what her intentions are with him because she keeps messaging him. I don’t know what to do!!! Please HELP!

  69. littlegiz December 23, 2010 at 8:46 am #

    staccyflor, sounds like your boyfriend is trying to have his cake and eat it too. Anytime a person is in a committed relationsihp and they have a relationship ( or try to start one) with another person, they usually lie about it or try to make their partner think they are to blame. If someone wants to cheat or wants attention from the opposite sex, why cant they just be honest about it? The reason is, they dont want to lose what they have (you) and they think they can get away with something. My husband had a brief Facebook/text relationship with two women- one he barely knew from middle school and the other one a woman 20 years younger than him who lived close by. My husband never bothered to tell me what was going on, even after I found proof of over 300 texts in one month. He finally admitted to having a one night stand with the younger woman. I was devastated and now we are trying to put our marriage back together and I am in therapy. Tell your boyfriend to s-it or get off the pot and just tell the truth or else you are going to leave him.

  70. Pup December 23, 2010 at 1:14 pm #

    Help Help Help…. Here’s my problem. I know it was probably the wrong thing to do but I looked at my wife’s text on her phone. Was that wrong? Ok, I do know that she found her ex on Facebook and added him as a friend. How it started was they started messaging each other on Facebook. Then they got each others phone number from FB still by messaging each other. Then one day she had told me that her step-dad was putting on a new floor in his house. And she said he may need some help. We go out there one day and I start helping him. The whole time she was on her phone texting. I didn’t think nothing of it at first til I noticed she was smiling around while she was texting. Then she started holding me and giving me attention out of nowhere. She dont normally come up to me and start doing things like holding me and kissing me and sitting on my lap. That was a lil out of the norm. But everytime she would stop what she was doing with me, get up and start texting again. She would sit just outside the door and text or walk away smiling at her phone texting. Then come back to me and start showing me attention again. So all this went on and I waited. I really wanted to see who was texting her to make her act this way. So one day I got her phone and I looked at it. He asked her to go see him down where he was (3-5hrs away). He said she didn’t have to worry about gas, food and a place to stay. ‘He didn’t have to say what he wanted, it was clear’. I asked her about that and she said, “Did I go? Did I pack a bag and takeoff down there? Did I just leave my boys and family to go down and see him?”. “NO”. All she said to him in the text was, I have to work and I can’t leave my boys. That to me is saying that she wanted to go, she just couldn’t. Then I read that he wanted her to send pics of herself to him. So she sent three pics of herself on OUR bed. They wasn’t nude pics but she was all posed up sexy like in them. Think she sent them with a subject title saying, “hochie pics”. I asked her about the pics, but didn’t mention the subject title. She said, “Maybe I felt pretty when i was taking and sending those pics. Maybe I wanted to rub it in his face like, hahaha look what you could’ve had”. I have been telling her for the longest time that I think she’s gorgeous and pretty. Like every day! And all it took was a text from someone else to make her feel that way. He also asked her for a naked pic from her but she never sent one. Oh and the day she sent those pics of herself I saw a corset top I bought for her sitting on the bed. Was wondering if she was gonna put that on, take a pic and sent it to him. I also asked her about that and she said no that’s not why that was out. She said she had it on earlier that day but just took in off cuz she couldn’t move in it or something. I asked about her and him texting each other, got into a big argument about it and they haven’t texted each other since. So they went back to messaging each other on Facebook. I know they have because she doesn’t know I have her password for Facebook. Plus I can always look at her phone at night when she’s asleep. I don’t know what to think about all that. I used to say things, like when her phone would chime when she got a new text I would say, “there’s your phone again”. Or when I would walk in on her when she’s on her FB on her phone I would say, “on FB again” or “always on FB”. She got mad and said, “what, I can’t have a social life?”. I don’t know what to do. Now every time she is on her phone I don’t trust her. And she’s on her phone alot. Always on FB with her phone. Like every chance she gets she’ll get on her phone and go to FB. I’ll leave the room to get something to drink, come back to see her on her phone FBing. I’m hating that phone. Can someone help me or give me some advice?

    • Facebook Ruined Us January 2, 2011 at 4:46 am #

      Facebook Ruined Us… Well my girlfriend of 4 years and I broke up today because of an old college buddy from 20 years ago. After searching all over. She looked him up on FB, and actually asked him when they where going to meet. Even though he is married.
      They exchanged cel phone numbers, best times to call, and e-mail adresses.
      They chatted and got very sexual on some e-mails, that I was unlucky/lucky enough to stumble upon. She said it was just stupid talk, and didn’t mean anything. I found them just after they had their first sexual encounter, She met me within an hour after thier rondisvous, which she denies to date. Although their e-mails told a different story. She said she was nervous to meet again. While he was saying how good he did her. She was with her girlfriend, she claims. This kept up for four months, until they where arranging another encounter and had an actual date set.
      Which I knew of, I foiled that date when I told her I knew who she meeting. That she wasn’t going to meet her girlfriend, but her old college buddy. She didn’t go. Then she kept her cel phone out of sight, or off charging. With texts like Hi Haandsome, and I Miss You So Damn Much. Or Hi Sexy, I’m Going to Attack You, and You Need To Cum. Finally having a meeting same time same place three months later. Then meeting me rigth after they finished. Ag real low life bitch. A month after that, while innocently answering a text message. I saw the previous text was from her college buddy. Still claiming he is only a friend. That was it, i knew I was used and disrespected for the last time. I tried everything in my power, asking her to stop the childs play. I begged her to help me save our relationship. We could get through it, if she would loose this looser. Moral of the story. If it wasn’t for FB she would not have found this guy, and our relationship would not be ending today.

      • BlackSheep January 8, 2011 at 8:18 pm #

        Dude, she’s a cheat, I would have been someone else. Not you, she is just a cheat and probably always will be.

    • BlackSheep January 8, 2011 at 8:26 pm #

      Pup, doesn’t sound like she has gone to far. Good girl, but she does need to humble herself for the “phone relationship” with another man outside of her marriage. Tell you you think it is inappropriate, delete him as a friend and take the face book off the phone for a while. And NO she can’t have a social life with OTHER men in a secret phone/computer world – it is damaging her relationship with her husband. She needs to suck it up and make some changes for a while so she can redeem trust from her husband again.

    • Michael January 27, 2011 at 10:41 pm #

      Pup ” you’re right we have the same exprience brother ” when she acted unsual towards me thats the time i doubted her ” thats why i opened up her FB and im right she’s chatting with her EX , and after a while she changes her password ” thats the time i confronted her ” >> i also said to her everyday that shes beautiful , etc.. but it seems like shes numb ? >> but in their chat she seems very appreciative of every word that the guy said to her ” >> oh by the way im also online during that time and she hadnt give me any buzz on my FB “

  71. Steve January 3, 2011 at 5:16 pm #

    after reading most of this post here, i don’t really know what to say.
    my wife is a computer junkie and seats in front of her laptop from morning to night if she no job that day as a freelancer in health product, she would often go out to deliver products and to meet her new clients in coffee shops etc.
    i can believing i am finally telling this, but just like some guys said in post, she connected with her old friends and started dating one of her ex-boy friend whom is a police officer and when i found out about it, they are already deep for 5 months, many times she would be out to meet client and she comes back late sometimes even before i would ask her why she was late she would starting explaining these and that, always full of excuses never ran out something to tell me, the interesting part is that sometimes she will call me while she out to tell me that she will be because more things came up and many times i will call her she won’t pick up but will find time to return the call with a perfect excuse.
    there is never a day that passes by that she does not login to face-book or play games. we usually share our password info, but this times she has become more secretive with hers and of course knows mine, on the other hand she never leaves her phone no matter what she is doing, her phone must be with her even when she is in bathroom she keeps the door at the bathroom door and leave the door open, all these misery got me thinking and loosing lots of weight. she does care for one only baby as she should or usually do previously and leaves lots of domestic works for me to handle, as a result becoming lazy. to cut the story short she is still having an affair even after i caught her and she confessed to me and asked for my pardon, did forgive her believing that everyone deserves a second chance in life… but i think i have give her more the ten chances as i know because even she promised to stop the affair before the new year day, but i still believe something is still going on maybe they have decided to go underground. i considered forgiveness because of my 2yrs plus baby boy and now i don’t know what to think anymore… continue to suffer my self and expose myself to any sexual infectious disease because of my son or go find my happiness… by the way i did mention 5 months but the affair is 8 months now and these muda-fucker is another woman’s husband who according to my itchy said he is willing to divorce his wife and leave his children to marry her. while right now, it is believed that she has stopped the affair but who knows?? once i find out one more fact that this affair has gone under-ground, i will kiss her fucking ass good bye and she can keep our boy, i wouldn’t mind anymore before i get a heart attack, i don’t know what true happiness is anymore because i have lost it and no to say; i even had P.E as a result of lack of interest in her anymore. Damm it!!! somebody to me pleassssse, i am a young father at age of 26yrs now…

    • BlackSheep January 8, 2011 at 8:15 pm #

      Steve this is awful. She is a selfish selfish woman that cares nothing for her life partner or child. She has sacrificed you and this beautiful child you brought into this world for her selfish vagina. You sound like a kind man that married an overbearing alpha cheating woman. Go to counceling, obtain all her passwords to all her accounts. You are her husband, she is your partner, if she does not anty up to giving you all the info as well as letting you view her phone on a daily basis, pack up the baby and go to your moms. You sound like a good guy and you have married a bad girl, if she doesn’t fix this quickly, you should walk. That precious baby deserves better, thank goodness he has a loving daddy!!!!

  72. BlackSheep January 8, 2011 at 8:07 pm #

    Ok, I am a facebook flirter. I was born a flirt, I like to flirt, I just can’t help it. I flirt in person and I do flirt on the comp. Sexting, I don’t do, save that for my hubbie. But I have thrown a heavy inappropriate flirt or two out there to cyber land or a text that would be so very embarassed if my loving husband saw. There is no unusual trouble in my marriage, I have a great man and would never trade him for another.

    I am not sure why I flirt. Maybe I like the attention, maybe it is secretly fun to be a little naughty with limitations. It really does seem quite harmless, that is if no one but the intended party reads.

    Here is a question for you. I have never checked my husbands facebook, e-mail, phone text. Why? I am not suspicious, I don’t care? If he is fooling around it will all come out and he can pack it and go I suppose. Wasting time fretting over what the loved one is saying, who to………What are you going to change? If they are going to step out, they are headed there with or without a computer. Maybe it really is just flirting, inappropriate, but none the less just flirting.

  73. Pup January 10, 2011 at 2:56 pm #

    I just hate it when she’s on her phone all the time. It makes me feel like she’s talking to that dude. Plus when she’s on her phone and I say something, she don’t hear me til she’s done on her phone texting or whatever. And she’s on her phone alot. I stopped posting things on FB and I’ve told her I don’t get on there anymore. Just to see if she starts posting things on his wall or anything. Or kinda hoping she stays off it. But it seems to be a little worse. She is always checking her FB like all the time. I remember she was writing to him on FB just before we was going to Vegas. I read that he has never been there and always wanted to go and that they should go sometime. He wanted him and her to go sometime. And she was all like yeah and how fun it would be over there and stuff. Then he wanted her to send him pics from there. IDK. They still sending messages and flirting around on FB.

    • BlackSheep January 18, 2011 at 1:01 pm #

      Pup, please be a man and be assertive. Has she deleted him as a facebook friend. Well if that is what you want, then demand it as the MAN of the household. If you are going to tolerate her flirting with men, and allow her to continue a relationship with a man that is obviously being inappropriate with you wife, then don’t complain. Tell her to delete hiim.

      As far as being on the phone all the time and on facebook. She is female. Women like to socialize and shop. This is something you need to address with her. Let her know you don’t appreciate being second fiddle to a phone. Ask her to turn it off during dinner, dates, movies, etc. Quit whinning and take action!

  74. lashay1989 January 15, 2011 at 1:33 pm #

    so glad i found thid site. My boyfriend recently just got on facebook and has been flirting with 3 girls. He has even taken money from our newborn son and bought her minutes to put on her phone. He is 10 years older then me ( thought older men was more mature). Dont get it twisted i love this man to death but its only so much i cantake. he gets on facebook at night when he thinks i’m sleep. then i found out his password and got into his account and he’s been messaging these three gurls when i confront him he says their his cousins. i just found out today their not his fam and one of them is an ex and he has exchanged phone numbers and has been sending sexual pictures toeach other. And by the way his phone is on my contract so i can see everything he does. Not to mention our son was just born the first of the year someone please help me. should i listen to my heart and hope this man changes or should i make a changing and drop he’s lying flirtaious ass.

    • BlackSheep January 18, 2011 at 12:56 pm #

      Lashay, this is not flirting. Giving money to strange women and sending sexual pictures. Money given away should be approved by you. Baby Daddy is a bad pick. Give him the ultimatum and move back in with Mom. This guy is out looking to make more babies – with EVERYONE!

  75. Leila January 19, 2011 at 12:16 pm #

    I have been married 14 years and I do feel lonely at times. My husband doesn’t pay much attention to me anymore even though I cook, clean, take great care of our 3 kids and have always watched my figure and look good for him. I go to church every Sunday, even teach Sunday school. I feel I am a pretty good wife. He barely gives me eye contact (but of course wants sex all the time). Women do need emotional conversations and connection. I was on FB the other night and was IM my old boyfriend from High School but realized this isn’t the answer. I know that it’s not fair of me to not give my husband all of me….giving only part of ones self isn’t gonna cut it. Even tough the IM wasn’t too inappropriate, I could see it could lead to it being inappropriate. So, I have talke with my husband about my feelings and usually he just says he does talk to me etc…but he really doesn’t seem like he gives a crap. Men, love your wives with all of your being, don’t give her only part of yourself. She deserves all of you and if she cheats or whatever at least you know you did all you could to be a good man and husband to her. Any advice for me?

  76. Michael January 27, 2011 at 3:46 pm #

    Guys ” could you help me to enlightened my mind ” coz this really stings me very much >> Me and my wife are married for 13 yrs and have two children, my wife had hooked up on FB about 5 months ago , she has lots of batch mates and friends and one of them is her EX boyfriend .I know her password so i can see what she is doing at the same time , and i’ve seen that she is chatting with her ex boyfrined and i’ve noticed that she is the one initiating the past , why does the guy doesnt have any reaction when they broke up , and she also said to him that if she isnot married today and the guy as well if they will see each other will he get back with her >> i confronted herand she is very surprised and very sorry to what she had did, she was forgiven but honestly speaking it still hurt a lot >> Until i’ve found out that she still visiting the wall of the guy >> And its started again our argument >> Guys could you please make some suggestion or idea ” what she really feels about him ?does she still love him ?

  77. Pup January 27, 2011 at 5:30 pm #

    Michael, dude I have the same exact problem. My wife has done the same thing to me. And I have asked her about it Jus like you have. I’m pretty much in the same exact boat you are.

    • Michael January 27, 2011 at 10:02 pm #

      Thanks PUP for your reaction , really appreciate it brother ” what is the status right now of your marriage ? Honestly speaking everytime i spoke with her , anger and unfairness is all i have felt for her , … I am working far from my family and there are lots of girls that want to flirt with me ” for being a good husband and a family man i resist all of that , thinking that i love her very much ..So thats why i felt betrayed .. One of my dreams is to grow old with her but now there’s a big doubt in my mind and in my heart “

      • me January 28, 2011 at 9:11 am #

        Michael and pup you seem like such great husbands and am so sorry to hear that your ladies don’t appreciate you, i honestly think that both of you deserve much better women as guys like you are so hard to find :)

        I have the same problem my husband is always on the phone non stop …it became so bad that even when we went to the cinema he walked out twice just to check his phone…if we are having dinner we have no communication because he cant keep his eyes of his phone text tex, call text its makes me so sad because we have only been married for two years, anyway this went on for about 8 months and my sisters would say to me to keep an eye on him but i trsuted him blindly ……so this one time he isnt feeling well and he says he will go downstairs to get some fresh air, instead i find out somehow that he is upstairs talking to some girl so i sneak up and decide to ease drop on the conversation and hear him saying stuff like i have opened up to you, and your really cute and you know i love you and when i confront him he says he got this girls number off face book and was just flirting with her and has never met her in person but i just cant believe it because he has changed so much over these 8 months

        • Michael January 28, 2011 at 12:35 pm #

          Hi ME ! Thanks for your thoughts ” very much appreciate it ” Hope you and your husband can patch things up togehter” and i surely do you two will be ok “

          • Pup February 2, 2011 at 1:32 pm #

            .

  78. Pup February 2, 2011 at 12:56 pm #

    “Me” I hope everything turns out good for you and your huddy. It sucks to see your ‘other’ constantly looking and watching there phone for texts. I am having that problem with my wife. She is always on her phone and fb on her phone too. Then when she gets on her phone it seems like she turns everything that is going on around her off. And gets so into what’s on her phone. I knew who she was texting after I looked at her phone. I have asked her to stop texting him and delete him off of her phone. She did. But there are so many other ways they can chat. Not Jus text. You can read what I very first wrote about the my situation. ^ (December 23)
    “MICHEAL”
    Hang in there Brotha. I feel the same way. Other girls try flirting with me too, I just brush it off. I talked to her about this whole fb thing. But everytime I talked to my wife about this situation it always turns ugly. I really love my wife and want it to work. I dont wanna fight with her. So I’m giving it some time. Just cause I know her password to her fb and email when she don’t know I do. So I can look at them when I want. Hang in there Brotha. Read my story and tell me what you think ^ (December 23)

    • Michael February 9, 2011 at 2:17 pm #

      Thanks Pup ” for the kind advise and concern “truly appreciate it ” just wanna say good luck to both of us and all the guys here ” hope that we still can patch up things with our partner >> Thanks

      • Pup February 18, 2011 at 2:13 pm #

        How’s it going michael? What’s your status nowadays? Mine, I think might have gotten a little better. I’m just waiting to see if it continues that way. I’ll keep you posted.

        • Michael February 21, 2011 at 12:52 am #

          Hi Pup ” thats nice to hear >> mine were still patching things up but it’s doing fine >> but i’m a little bit fucked up right now , during the time of my depression , my ex girlfriend in HIghschool came out of nowhere , and we had a chit chat and had also tackle my problem towards my wife …honestly speaking i consider her as a savior, because i was so depressed and she is the one who eases all of that , now a little complicated . Because my Ex and i had a mutual understanding , she’s still has no family til now , and she told me that she will accept whatever situation i have , she can wait .. But the thing is i really love my wife and i dont know how to say this to her ” .. i’m really confused

  79. anotherMatt February 2, 2011 at 3:49 pm #

    Am now the victim of the exact same Facebook flirting becoming emotional affair to the “meeting for lunch” one day. Except, I always tried to talk to my wife. always tried to ask her what was wrong if I sensed something. all I got was nothing, stop bothering me. but we have a kid together, and just bought a house together. Then one night after over 100 messages to one “just a friend”, she tells me she doesnt think she is in love with me anymore.
    It is as if they dont think they wont be wondering who mr. douchebag is going to be texting while THEY are living in fantasy land together. so far, this person has destroyed our lives.
    We are in divorce proceedings.

  80. THC February 12, 2011 at 2:04 pm #

    This is my experience almost to the T. And now on the second affair it is all over. Is there anything that can be done?

  81. Foolish February 25, 2011 at 4:07 am #

    I personally had a recent facebook experience that just shattered me. I have been dating someone on and off for the past three years, but we have been friends for close to nine years. Long story short, this last time that we got together, she seemed to be making a very honest effort toward our relationship. I thought everything was going great and we talked about marriage, but I just had this gut feeling that there was more to it.

    I really had to know what she was up to and decided to log into her facebook account to check her e-mails. She did not know I had her password, it may have been wrong on my part, but I had to know. Looking over her messages, I noticed that she deleted all of her incoming messages, but still had all of her outgoing. Looking over the messages, I did not see anything immediately wrong. However, while logged in, I saw a chat screen pop up, and I was just about to log out when I saw a reply. She was logged on also at the time that I was, and I did not know you could follow a chat message while accessed from another computer.

    I followed the chat, and while talking to her cousin, she was asked how she enjoyed her Valentines day with her boyfriend, me.. her response crushed me.. she basically told her cousin that it was just another day, she was not in the mood to make love with me and that she was wanting to be with someone else.. followed by the infamous jajajajaja. scribble indicating to me that she thought it was funny.

    I was destroyed, crushed.. I cried and cried.. I loved her completely and would have done anything for her..

    I basically ended the relationship with no explanation, no phone call, no text response. I apalogized to her family and explained what happened and how sorry I was for it, but I did and needed to know.. now she hates me and denys that it is true. She has lied about me to everyone in her family and made some horrible things up about me and basically hates my guts.

    I am still hurt, and I still love her, and I truly do miss her. What she will never understand is that I did not leave because I hated her, I left because I Loved her, and I knew she did not love me the same.. that would have been even more painful for me. She was my best friend.. I trusted her with everything and gave her my heart completely. I still find myself trying to make excuses for her.. but I repeat that chat message over and over in my head, to never forget and to keep focusing ahead. The hardest part is the crying.. I wish I could stop at night when I am alone.. Makes me feel so little of a man.

  82. Bruce February 28, 2011 at 5:12 pm #

    Things have been rather rocky in my world lately. Just recently after 8 years of being with my fiance and 3 kids later she decided to tell me she loves me but isnt in love with me. Now this isnt the first time ive heard this a few years proir she siad the same thing and turns out there was another guy involved a past crush to be more precisely someone who contacted her via fb. and only when she was caught red handed she lashed out with those words. Later she siad she didnt mean any of it. And even though i had lost trust in her i decided to work on it for the sake of the kids. kk back to present time a month ago same thing. so she tells me shes not happy and she wants us done. I find this rather odd and it dam near killed me. First she told me to leave then a day later she says please stay for the kids and that we can coexist in the same house. well weeks went by with me sleeping on the couch and crying everynight wishing the nightmare would end. my kids would ask questions like mommy why arent you wearing your ring or mommy why arent you kissing daddy goodbye? it tore me up. but i stayed for the kids. and then sumthin unusal happend. she tells me one evening that she wants to work it out. Im esactic becuz im madly in love with her. however im also weary wondering wether or not shes sincere or is just using me for a baby sitter. she came up with a few rules such as no hovering about her, dont ask me when ill wear my ring and then the most suspicious one dont ask me who im talking with on the phone. First and foremost i dont do any of these things. and that last rule made me rather uncomfortable but at that time i didnt put any thought to it. i was just happy we were gonna work things out. and the weeks after that have been awesome prolly the best time ive had with her in a long time. then i started to notice things like her constantly having her blackberry with her. she took it to the bathroom everywhere. and that didnt bother me too much but when she would fall asleep on the couch and id wake her up to come to bed she would jump and grab her phone. so one day while laying next to her and she was texting someone i noticed she had far more contacts on her black berry messenger then i did. i thought to myself wow thats odd. i had this gut feeling that sumthin wasnt right so one night when she fell asleep i peeked at her phone. and sure enough theres a guy on there from like 8 hours away. at first i was like well maybe hes just a friend or a fellow farmville nut. so i logged on her fb account yes we know each others passes. and went to go check out his profile. apparently hes like 10 years older then me. some kinda engineer and lives in DC and has been his whole life. i noticed that noone on my friends list or hers had him in common. he wasnt a farmville person. so i went back to her phone and looked around in it. she had set some stored emails actually hidden and one of them was a messege from him showing off is ripped abs. i went on her fb acct and deleted him. she doesnt know that i know. and i have yet to confront her about it cuz honestly i dont know how i go about it. Ive been hurt sooo badly these last few months i dont know if i can take anymore. I feel that i cant even trust her anymore. she shoudl get an oscar though for her acting. i must say she did have me convinced. but im still in a delimma what if he is just a friend? I was sooo tempted to tell her hey how bout that guy with the abs comes down here and helps you with the kids. Im leaving!! But i kept my mouth shut. any suggestions?

  83. Jim March 10, 2011 at 12:55 am #

    There is no such thing as the perfect relationship. Mine was long before facebook, but it was the same basic story as many listed here.

    I was chatting because of marriage problems that my wife didn’t want to talk about and I ended up talking to other women that would rather hear about my problem then deal with their own and vice versa.

    It was over 10years ago and ended up getting divorced. Its so easy to look back on our lives and see what we did wrong. To many of us get caught up in the moment and what’s going on in our lives TODAY We all got married or into our relationships for a reason and along the way lost focus of that until it was too late.

    Today, my girl friend is a big into chat on facebook, but this time its different, because our computers are right next to each other and I am included in all her chatting. We even laugh about me posting and chatting on her facebook while I’m sitting right next to her. There are no secrets. Sure we have problems, and have discovered that facebook actually helped. Think about this. Have you every been so mad that you didn’t really hear what the other person was saying?? It happened to us and I posted everthing on her facebook. Later, she read what I wrote and this time, my written words got through and she came to our room crying saying she was sorry.

    Talking to our partners and being open is key. Instead of arguing, write it down and don’t keep secrets (unless they are good secrets, like presents or surprises for upcoming birthday).

  84. Nan March 18, 2011 at 12:59 am #

    My husband adds these women that he meets through Facebook groups and sooner or later I always find a comment that he posts on a pic that these women post. The comments are inappropriate for a married man to make. When I confront him about it, he always says I am too uptight or it doesn’t mean a thing or he has pics of me up so they know he is married. But to me it is rude, inappropriate, unnecessary and hurtful. Why won’t he stop and how can I make him stop?

    • Scott December 10, 2011 at 5:09 am #

      My perspective on FB and other internet social sites is that they’ve replaced bars and nightclubs. It makes it easy and it’s cheap; you don’t have to drink, buy others drinks, spend no money, and still post pictures and flirt and do it all in the privacy of ones home.

  85. Bradley March 22, 2011 at 1:04 pm #

    Shes at it again! Its been along while since I have written on here but I need a place to vent. My wife is getting cozy again to a guy she went to high school with on facebook. If you have read my earlier threads you know the situation. At first she was just being friendly and sharing experiences with him because his marriage is screwed up also. His wife cheated on him and they were relaying how to get throug it messages. but the tone is changing its getting more and more personal. They dont flirt but they share deeply intimate knollege of each others lives to each other. she told him she resents me for staying with her because she feeels I am only doing it because I am shy and introverted and says I probally feel I could not find someone else to be with. She says she does not believe I could still love her after what she did and would not have done so if I did it to her. I have explained to her I stayed because I was not the husband or father I should have been and took a little responsibility for wht happened. I guess she does not respect that. He has suggested to her that they meet one day just for lunch and she responded sure just let me know when your up to it to meet for lunch or somrthing. She also let him know to text her to talk to her. That bitch shes doing it all over again. I dont believe she is looking for sex but I do believe it will come to that. I dont know what to do. She does not know I have her passwords for facebook. I thought we were working things out an that it was getting better I guess I was wrong. Even if her intentions with him are harmless why would she put herself in another bad situation again. I guess I will have to play the waiting game and see if she does actually go to meet up with him. We only have one car at the moment because she was in an accident last summer because some old lady hit her and totaled our other car. She always takes our daughter with her to go out because as she also told him she still feels a little guilty of what she did. I guess the day she goes out alone and gets all dressed up will be that day. I dont know what to do now but wait.

  86. Dina March 23, 2011 at 8:52 am #

    Same like always, sad face, talk and share problem talk about peoples not with them, fold in friend slow to be FWB, and cheat, the peopes cheat always want to make up story this, that for spend time talk and make another person fell sad and sorry for you, Ex: my husband control me, We married aranment when we were child, he control every move, or my wife this, that act like nice person, but if you nice person don’t cheat, because cheat will hurt yourself, because last minute they will dump you go to next one, they can cheat theur wife or husband with you they can cheat with someone else to, Don’t fall in sad, face, low voice scare this that, If scare this or that why still someone happiness, You don’t want get hurt from someone, don’t hurt peoples then………

  87. Bradley March 27, 2011 at 4:19 pm #

    I do not know if because of what happened last year between me and my wife that I tend to overreact. I was never a jealous person or ever meddled in her personal life. I guess I still carry some deep scars. Since my last message on here another message was sent between them and nothing at all was said between them besides normal chit chat. She is the type of person who wants people to think only good things about her and has always been the type to do just enough to keep people friends with her. This sometimes makes her a doormat which she knows and for the most part she has been working on that and standing up for herself a little more. Do I think she would meet up with him behind my back for lunch? No, but then again maybe in the back of my mind yes. Since all that crap from last year she has been for the most part open and honest with me. She told me everything about this new male online friend. But she never mentioned the deep things they share with each other which is natural, or meeting up with him for lunch a big which is of course a in not natural. They don’t chat on a daily basis and it’s more like a few times a week every so often. They do not flirt and mostly talk about nothing, or issues they have with their spouses. She has in the past told him that she wants to make it work with me and that things have been getting a lot better between us. I guess what they say is true curiosity killed the cat because the things I sometimes read about when she talks to him bothers me. To anybody out there married or in a long term relationship. Does anyone think that any woman or man should talk about intimate things with a man or woman acquaintance online? Would it be OK for that spouse to meet up with that acquantance for lunch especially if they cheated in the past? I am not a controlling person and I have no problems if she goes out with her real friends. She has never had male friends ever since I have known her, and its only when she started going online to sites like Face book that she has made a few which are of course now all gone since she no longer flirts with them online. Yep that’s how great male friends they were bolting once the flirting and thinking they could get her into bed ended. Personally I think if she had a lifelong male friend it would be a lot different to share personal things, and to hang out with. But to say that guys you long ago saw around school and found again on Face book is your real friend. Really? I want to believe that he will only ever be a male online acquaintance/friend. But who knows I never thought she was the type to talk dirty online or cheat in real life either. I guess time will really tell on what her true intentions really are. I do know that it’s only been a little over a year since that mess happened and I do know we both have a lot of emotional scars and healing still to do.

  88. brent March 27, 2011 at 10:29 pm #

    me and my wife have been married for five years now. we both have a facebook and a myspace account. she has the password to both of mine and i have hers and we ar friends on both. my wife has one of her ex boyfriends on hers and some of her old school friends. she ask me about them and shows me everything they say. and some have said some things that are not appropriate. she will point it out to me and deliet them and i do the same. i dont see how it will ever be a problem for us. how ever is she was to start hiding stuff from me then i might would worry. if your wife or husband has nothing to hide from you then yall would be able to do the same as me and my wife. i trust her and she trust me and thats the way it should be.

  89. billy April 3, 2011 at 12:22 pm #

    i wish it were true in my case. my wife and i had a terrible fight one night over something silly,,, one thing led to another and it became physical… totally my lack of control,, i belittled her and said things i should’ve never said. i knew we were in trouble. if she ever forgave me, it would take weeks. however, i told her to leave.. she refused and the fight was essentially over.

    the next day at work. i emailed her to politely tell her my greivances. of course, because the battle was so heated and fresh, she responded “i don’t love you”, etc. etc, etc. she wanted a divorce. i agreed, never thinking she was serious.

    i slept on the sofa that night. the next morning, i opened the computer and checked my email and facebook email. only i was logged in as her,, she didn’t log out.

    i saw 4 or 5 messages from this guy who i didn’t know.
    of course i opened one, still not realizing i was in her acct. they were love letters between the two while trashing me and the night before. she let some stranger into our bedroom and our private lives and tells him she loves him. it turns out the guy is facing potential jail time, talks about forging documents and having them notarized for the judge, drugs and alcohol. and she loves when he calls her baby.

    of course i confronted her, calmly, wrote the guy and told him to bugg off.. this was only two days ago. i’m about to lose my wife to some loser with no real future, plan, job or life.. just because she knows him from high school

    thanks Facebook~!

  90. private April 9, 2011 at 2:17 pm #

    I’m the guy at the opposite end of your frustrations. I’m apart of a group in facebook where I connected with a married woman. I’ve been married a little over a decade and she’s married twice as long with children. Started off innocent, leading to light flirting. After 3 weeks we’re exchanging full nude photos including our faces. For the past week we’re doing the web cam. You can already guess what goes on there. Now we plan to meet soon. There’s talk about me living a hour away, where we can see each other on free time. But first we will have a overnight visit. Our spouses have no clue. I do plan to divorce due unrelated reasons. She will remain married which I don’t mind and it’s ok for me to date. We plan to continue this until we have our fill. Could last forever. Who knows. We respect each other. I am not the jealous type. She described sex with her husband and it’s a sad story. I warned her being with me won’t help. Long story short guys, if you think your wife is being just a little flirty, understand and believe that she is or will be having sex. Trust me. Her husband has no clue I’ve seen all of her and soon I’ll be in her. Good luck. I hope it’s not one of you guys’ wife I’ll be screwing regularly.

  91. At a loss should Idump him April 14, 2011 at 1:00 pm #

    I was looking at my fellas facebook with him ,he always tells me he only looks wot other people are saying and that he dos not talk to any one .but there a dirty girl who never washes and sleeps with everyone she meets. he knew her before me met and I knew her as well.he delieted her from his friend list last year when we rowed over why he wanted to talk to her.last year he said she was a diry whore and he wanted nothing to do with her.then last night.out of the blue she came up on to chat .I when mad he shot up and said he was leaving and so wot if shes on there,its none of my businnes.we had a split in jan and have just got back, I am so scared if he has slept with her.now he wont talk to me. yet he was telling how much he loved me 2 hours before.my mind is all over the place.can anyone help???

  92. @tom April 14, 2011 at 5:58 pm #

    I’m watching my ex basically get himself into a situation where he is seeing a married woman!! She is on facebook and has added me and all his friends onto her profile. Now she has a few profiles, her main one where she chats and uploads pics of her kids. Then she has another with just my ex added on saying the relationship is complicated!! Adding to that she made ANOTHER using her name and his surname to basically announce they were an item. I shot her down saying I found the profile and told her to quit it.
    Many talks have been made with our friends about it to both of them but its like talking to a brick wall. My ex was a douche so there isn’t any way I would want him back- he is tainted.
    But the matter of fact is that we all know what is going on and its so tempting to just plague her wall saying she is cheating!! The husband doesn’t have FB so he is blind by his wifes cheating.

    How do I know she is- because I saw her kissing my ex in front of me at a gathering!! She was supposed to be home but didn’t leave till 3. Its damn right digusting and all I wish for is for her to be exposed for the cheating bitch she is!!

  93. Sam-n-Shreveport April 20, 2011 at 4:56 am #

    Yeah you said it…Facebook is bad news for anyone in a committed relationship. My wife of almost 8 yrs (now EXwife) got in touch with her ex’s best friend on Facefuck and engaged in an emotional affair with him that lasted God only knows how long. I suspect she was fucking around on her ex with his friend, many years before. Anyway, soon they were talking and texting each other on their cells…lots of phone sex. I was working two jobs at the time…60 hr weeks of graveyard shifts…and she was at home, playing with her pussy while loverboy talked dirty to her. I was completely clueless…until one day I picked up her brand new cell phone…wasn’t even trying to access her texts, was just admiring the gadget, when she came across the room and snatched it from my hand, telling me “that’s personal”. THEN I knew something was up! Anyway, she didnt waste any time sanitizing her phone, her laptop…she got rid of the evidence post-fuckin-haste. When I confronted her, she said “you wouldve been very hurt by what you saw”…well, as it turned out I was plenty goddamned hurt by what I DIDNT see! Needless to say I was devastated! I spent the following month finding an apartment, then I got the fuck out. That was almost 3 years ago.

    So to all of you who have felt the never-ending agony of betrayal, just keep in mind that as badly as it hurts, knowing the truth is far better than living your life oblivious to the infidelity. Take some comfort in knowing that “what comes around goes around”…the whore WILL eventually get her comeuppence…you might not be there to see it or hear about it, but it’ll happen. Someday a loved and trusted husband or boyfriend’s betrayal will turn her world upside down and she’ll be thrown into a deep, black pit of despair that will take her years to climb out of. Meanwhile, get on with your lives…do what YOU want to do, what makes YOU happy. And the next time you fall in love, don’t give your whole heart away…keep a small piece of your heart in reserve.

  94. Steve April 23, 2011 at 11:28 pm #

    I have been trying to decide whether to send a Facebook Friend request to a lady friend that i work with. We get on well and have some very good conversations, and have developed a good friendship, and I have very strong feelings for her (not reciprocated, for obvious reasons) . I know I can never have a future with her but would at least like to continue to be a friend. My problem is (and I shouldnt care) is what her husband is going to think – stupid really, right?

    I know he is on Facebook with a separate account and although I dont know him, he has more friends than her and I’m sure many of his woman friends are his work colleagues.

    Women, if you were the woman in question, what would your reaction be to a male colleague doing this.. and husband, would you question it?

    I think Im probably making a bit of an issue out of nothing, considering how many ‘Friends’ people have who they dont even know, I just dont want to run the risk of being thought of as a pest or a ‘stalker’, esp since she works for the same company as me.

    • broken heart April 25, 2011 at 6:07 pm #

      Wow, and here I was thinking I was the only one dealing with this?? CRAZY!!

      I have been dealing with Facebook,sexting and several other sites for a year and a half!! More fool me right…My boyfriend has been having many shady sexual awful private conversations on facebook with mostly people he has not met. Some of them he went on a date with when we first started dating and for some reason he is still in contact with them?? Many texts from random numbers, flirting and sexual in nature?? I just don’t get it?? He says it means nothing but how can it not?? I think there must be over 100 girls names roaming in my head!! I have had his pass words for everything and I tell him what I saw and he changes them and I get them again…..my head is about to explode!!! He insists it is nothing?? I know he has had coffee with one girl that he had a few dates with while we just met and ofcourse denied it, but I saw the messages then he fobbed it off as nothing!! I must be stupid for going back to this guy over and over again?? Argh when we are together it is amazing but all this stuff is driving me crazy!! I don’t have his pass words anymore but I can see his FB page and he just became friends with an ex that he was very much in Love with and lives in the same city?? Crap……..I have to leave don’t I…he knows that I don’t like all this flirting yet he won’t stop.what to do??

  95. What Happening In these Days April 28, 2011 at 2:55 pm #

    Hello everyone I read many, many comments posted and was really, really saddened by whats going on today , WHY? cant people realize that technology, computers in this eral has been wonderful but at the same time A EVIL Curse to society, of course many of us will say You Cant Blame FB, Technohology,computers,cell phone etc. but THE FACTS of life is ever since we have advance in to all this cheating has gone up, kids have advanced not in a good way, kids are more targeted by predetors , porn at the tips of are fingers, and yes of course many cheating sites found where O N L I N E I could go on forever and ever dont miss interped what I am Saying theres been alot of good to but the majority of things points to the bad of things like for example the NUMBER #1 use for internet TODAY is for SEXUAL DESIRES wow doesnt it all make sinse in a way for why so many things are gong wrong in marriges today??????
    Know let me share something Im only 26 years old and been married for three years old and many, many times have got into heavy arguments, slient threatments that last for days, where you feel so much hate towards each other well angry, and I believe that s when the thoughts of being with someone else always come in the most, yes Life gets hard in boring but its up two us to give it are best, Communacate and share things that we think we shoudnt with each other if not how can we ever know what each of us is feeling, Before being married I feel You Got to realize that every single day is a new battle, and we got to realize that PROBLEMS will COME are way, and many times it easier to seek other things but we got to realize these are lifes were playing with marrage is a way of life and those who find other things are cowards is like someone who cant take the strees of life and commets sucide, same in the marraige if you cant hang on to what you have and FIND a way to fix it, and find the easy way out your a coward to marriage, I NEVER meet a couple that says Marriage is easy you never struggle, never have problems, sex life is always perfect, lifes always happy and joy joy never has a couple told me that and believe me IV spoken to lot n lots of married couple of all ages. mabe thats true in a FARIY TALE but not life human life, So to every cheating man/women and people that think its ok to talk to old friends why dont you wake up and realize that the person you are about to hurt is going to be destroyed mentally for about a year or two if they really Love have you tryed eveything to make it work Bullshit cause if you did you woudnnt be useing energy to talk with others ,flirt, or whatever it is your doing your husband or wife should be your ONE and ONLY friend isnt that why you married?????
    other then that theres no acceeption its all decievements and lies on your part and you need to catch yourself before you let a good thing go and never find happyness cause if you think someone that rubs you the right way for the moment will last a life time wake up cause everything in life is temporary it just a matter of time to the grass on the other side begins to R O T

    • jc December 18, 2011 at 8:34 am #

      Ok you have made good points and bad points, myspace, Facebook, its all the same s#it, you have those people who are actually just catching up with friends from the past reliving the days of high school/college what ever the case maybe. But there is and always will be those people that just don’t care if someone is married, and that person maybe be just looking harmlessly but , those people who just don’t care about marriage or commitment will try and make that person feel like they are the most precious thing in the world to get into their mind and soonly enough into their pants, coming from a person who has had this happen to him by his wife , it sucks, these were meant to be a place where people can find / meet new people , but the sites did not come with a manual on what is moral. I’m not saying all people are bad. Or immoral, but. I was never on my Facebook or MySpaceike ever, I found old friends from highschool, but I was always at work, I worked.12-16 hours a day, so.when I got home I wanted to see my wife and kids, and where was she on that Damn Facebook and MySpace, always. I never checked it , but I guess I should have considering I was getting slammed for the last two years without knowing, she would tell me to go somewhere, or don’t do.it she’ll get it and if I didn’t stop , a fight. So I would just stop. Low and behold she was telling everyone the exact opposite that I was not there, or I never helped, always something, and of course all.these guys started contacting here sending her pics, vids, al that sh*t, and she thought there was nothing wrong with it. Well there is were married, I believe I marriage and what comes with it, and I know that cheating was not part of that deal. So yes I do blame Facebook, MySpace , cause they mad it so easy and descrete to be able to start grounds for cheating but the.people are to blame for not being able to keep their moral values in check.

  96. Scott July 1, 2011 at 1:00 am #

    I’ve been with my wife for 17 years now, married for 13 of the 17. Our relationship was very trusting and true for all those years until she began recently began connecting with old friends from Cambridge, Massachusetts, friends from school and the neighborhood she grew up in. This was done on Facebook, all without my knowledge because one of these friends

  97. B July 9, 2011 at 10:35 pm #

    So glad I have found this website, I had always thought this problem must have affected alot of people with the growing popularity of social networking sites but I have never looked for others who are/have experienced the same as me.

    I am 22, my partner is 26 and we have been together for roughly 4 years on and off. I don’t think I could ever find a better man, he is principled, kind and witty, we have helped eachother over the years through rough times.
    I have had problems with eating behaviours since I was around 14 (around about the time I began my first serious relationship with a guy who was mentally abusive and physically threatening) and I go through long periods of depression. He is also prone to being depressed and it seems like we have both been through alot over the past years.

    When we first started dating, I hadnt been out of my first relationship for that long and wasn’t keen on it for that reason I felt I needed time to recover, but I had just moved in with him and his housemate as we had been friends for a while and I needed accomodation in a new city away from home. So he persuaded me that we could be together, that coupled with the fact I really felt attracted to him in every way, he was so different from my previous partner. I wanted to be with him too but was nervous about repeating the same mistakes.

    It was clear to me that he was immature, he was a musician at university and he drank alot, went out alot and basically just treat me very differently around others including our housemate. He was rude and he spent time with other girls, when I was alone and finding it difficult to meet new friends in a new area. I tried not to cast a shadow on his life but I got increasing angry and frustrated so I arged with him alot and read his facebook emails and texts behind his back, usually ending up in a huge blown up argument. I just wanted to say to him “I never meant to ruin your fun but can you make an effort to include me a bit”. When I initially moved I thought I would make a new life for myself and wouldnt rely on anyone else, actually it got very hard just living in an expensive lonely city and I longed for him to grow up a bit.

    Over the years we have both settled down more, he seems mature and capable of looking after himself mostly financially whereas before he would leave both of us out of pocket with gambling/booze ( he never had a terrible addiction he was just clueless about budgeting). He’s still in debt, as am I which I really couldnt care less about (its hard in todays society to be in the clear completely) but the difference is, is that he has taken control of things and doesn’t just leave them for me or his parents to sort out. It never bothered me that I knew we would probably always be poor ish, I just wanted him to treat me with respect and love.

    We live together somehwere else now and things have been much better than they were back then. But, one thing has continued to put strain on our relationship and my confidence couldn’t be any lower. I sometimes think Facebook is the source of all evil in our relationship, it encourages him to do things he probably wouldnt do without it. The amount of women he messages I have no clue about, since I stopped checking his mails and messages since I wanted to show him that I felt it was wrong that I invade his privacy. But lately I knew it had been happening again. I started checking again and feel like some kind of psycopath, but what I have found means I am justified in what I feel.

    I prove to myself that hes texting and message, possibly meeting people or phoning them and I realise I’d just as well rather be blissfully unaware because I love him deeply and know that his feelings toward me are the same. He just doesn’t respect me and I feel hurt that we look at things so differently. We have both discussed a long future together and I know he loves me, but he has serious issues when it comes to talking about things instead of messaging other women to fill out his ego. We don’t have sex very often especially I think for people of our age, but neither of us want it most of the time, me especially when I feel down and do not eat.

    I just don’t know what the right thing to do is anymore, we are about to make the plunge yet again and move closer to his work and I will have to start a new life again and find a new job, all of this I was looking forward to until this.

    I am sorry about the huge huge post btw.

    ps I know what this sounds like, I really do not believe he is sleeping around, he has low confidence when it comes to actual contact, he just can’t stop flirting.

  98. michelle July 14, 2011 at 12:06 pm #

    My hubby left his facebook open one day and I sat at the comp and what did I see??? Hes sending women half naked pics of himself…he even had sent messages of him telling a women he loved and missed her…see at the time he had been unemployed for 3 yrs…I had been working 45hrs per week supporting our family of four. I lost it…some very hurtful things were said. He explained to me that the woman he was talking to had been verbally abused by her husband and he was only trying to make her feel better…I told him my husband was being mentally abusing to me and he needed to make me feel better and he couldn’t…At that point I gave him a month to get a job or I was not gonna make the house pmts of 1007.00 and would move back to my moms. He got a job…and I’m sure hes no longer seeing the girl (especially after I got done with her). This hurt our relationship badly…It can never be the same. This happened a year ago and I still think about it everyday. I have never felt so disrespected.

  99. Martin July 21, 2011 at 7:47 am #

    Oh my! It does seem to me that monogamy is failing, and its turning out to be a bad idea that society has thrust upon us.

    The cheating is the lying, and thats what hurts, doesnt it? Well how about an open relationship, where there is no lying, but you have clear communication instead?

    Lookup “polyamory”, and get yourself a book “the ethical slut”.

    If your partner is seeing someone else , then here’s a RADICAL suggestion for you – embrace the situation! You might like it !!

  100. joseph July 25, 2011 at 4:11 am #

    OKay……It’s not your fault they are responsible for their own actions. I was repeat was married for 9 years and my wife had an internet affair which became a real life affair.I left her…she was an idiot for this. Also she wouldnt even admit to the affair even though all the signs were there.

    Secondly I dated another woman…turned out to be totally worthless. She liked to be a skype-ho and even tried to screw some of my friends after she broke up with me. I caught her iming and facebooking all kinds of guys.

    Most guys are stupid and only want one thing anyway.

    The moral of the story is not that facebook flirting or internet flirting is bad the moral is …..Don not be involved wit someone if they facebook or internet flirt…or make sexual comments it is disrespectful to your mate and their feelings.It is a sign you life is out of order.

  101. Tyson August 18, 2011 at 6:59 pm #

    My wife and I have been married 6 years. She has a problem and loves to reconnect to people outside of close family and friends, especially her past.

    July 2011 she secretly re-opened a facebook account despite my years of asking her not to. She spent more time on it then focusing on our marriage. Then she reconnected with this one guy and less than a week later she is at his house having an affair 2 days in a row. I filed for a divorce then being the victim asked her back as she blames me for feeling lonely and sad to try and justify her infedility.
    Now we are back together less than a month after the affair, I have serious issues of trust with her and wish she’d close her facebook account on her own or at least close out all her contacts except family, agreed friends, and her girlfriends. She has been asked from me but continues to add guys daily. She is not committed to me if you watch these actions continually occur. I have reason to be paranoid now.

    Marriage is hard enough without having open access to your own private bar of intruders (with full private chatroom and email access).

    I am not a facebook fan because of her inability to protect my wishes 100% and our marriage. I wish facebook would shut down persons accounts as habitual drunkards also aren’t allowed at family requets to buy alcohol.

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    • tony m. August 29, 2011 at 12:43 am #

      I recently went through much of the same with a girlfriend who seems obsessed with the attention she gets on FB. She told me i gave her what she was looking for for years.
      Love, attention, affection, compliments, great sex. (i was told the best ever and it showed :) Her family loved me, i grew close to her children and grandchildren. Our problems mainly stemmed from FB. She had made some male friends in the military several years back in a chat room while her ex was overseas. A few of them are now friends on FB, they seem to not be able to separate the flirting from years back in the chat room from the present. She has family, children, and co-workers as friends on FB.
      After breaking up several times, she contacted me again, after a few weeks “realizing” the good we had to offer each other. I made it perfectly clear that if we were to try and remain involved that I would not stand for any overt, innuendo and she agreed to put anyone in their place that “stepped out of line”.
      It took less than one week for one of the “good ole boys” to make a suggestive comment (slathering jelly on her and eating every delicious bite) on an innocent wall post about blueberry pop-tarts.. Rather than ignore it, or send him a PM to indicate that type of talk was in the past, and should remain there, or even state something along the lines of “i’ll suggest that to my BF” she chose to suggest a different flavor of jelly. WTF? She not only accepted the innuendo, but encouraged it. I promptly told her to leave me alone for good this time. No integrity, uncouth, and seemingly addicted to the attention. She comes off as totally confident – i suspect there are underlying insecurity issues. Her loss.

      • karen October 22, 2011 at 3:21 am #

        i agree people who enjoy FB attention are very insecured. I think FB is for people who have nothing else to do and do not feel secure in one relationship.

        • RICKY July 5, 2013 at 3:00 pm #

          ya karen i am agree with you, i am also thinking so

  103. rhondax September 6, 2011 at 5:25 pm #

    its so funny im going through the same thing with my hubby i set hem up on facebook and he feel for it hook line and sinker i just stoped his face book he nolonger has internet and or a cell phone

  104. paul September 8, 2011 at 4:15 pm #

    Facebook is where almost everyone spends a lot of their time, including work time. An issue came up in my marriage two weeks into our marriage in fact regarding Facebook and my wifes co-worker. It was a Friday afternoon and I wanted to stop by and surprise my new wife with a coffee and to say hi! Come to find out she was on a male co-workers page looking at pictures of this co-worker without a shirt on and going on about how hott he was to her female office friend. Seeing this after just two weeks of marriage and knowing she emails this guy a lot about work things and who knows what else destroyed me. I had a really hard time with it. I wanted her to confess this thing to me so I hinted at it but got nothing. I had to come out and say I caught her in the act. Then she realized what she did was wrong. This was 3 months ago. it still hurts to think that she “wanders” I don’t know what to do.

  105. Jay September 9, 2011 at 12:40 pm #

    I completely agree with your post, I’m a 22 year old woman. I would consider myself quiet attractive as I’m not short of male admirers. Recently, I found myself caught up in this situation of finding my partner sending disgusting sexual messages to a 50 year old woman. This was 3 weeks after our son was born. I’m sturggling to find out why he has done this, why people get off on flirting with others in such a way and why, if people have relationship issues, they can’t talk it out with their partners???

  106. dave elliott September 19, 2011 at 5:52 am #

    listen to this one,it takes the cake ..i think,but where to start…ok
    i was married for 18 odd years and immigrated from South Africa to new zealand and then to australia where i still live,i had two beautiful teenage daughters and a good job high voltage substation technician.the marriagge was taking a bit of strain due to my one daughter getting into pot and not going to school and my ex wifes inabbility to get a job because she is on fb till 3 every morning ….getting up to no good but we were managing,subsequently i get diagnosed with non hodgkins lymphoma in sep 09 and begin the journey of many rounds of chemo,my now ex ups the anti with her ex boyfriend from 20 years ago and starts having very graphical pornografic affairs with this idiot which i find in her deleted email box by mistake after getting home from hospital after a stem cell transplant ,all shit breaks loose as i am really hurt ,then the cow decides she want to go to england and live with this tosser,i give her six weeks to repent and begged her sto stay as i knew i was still ill and not out of the woods,but also i did love her,i then put survelilance on her pc only to find out there is no saving this marriage,i had also seven years previous to this caught her doing the same thing with another ex boyfriend who was married in south africa for which i forgave her ,subsequently i file for divorce and she split to england with my daughter ,it would have been both but the eldest decided she wasnt leaving because of her brain dead pot smoking boyfriend,since then i have relapsed and it is utter hell alone,although after reading all her emails and finding out she is an evil clam i would rather die alone than have her back…may she and her boyfriend rot ,at present i have to go to scotland as i was born there and i have a nice family to support me as i’m on chemo again,the ex has convinced my teenage girls that cheating on the internet is harmless as it is not physical,i am too embarrassed to have shown them copies of the emails as to the sluttiness of there loving mother….what a load of crap,she left a terminally ill husband and moved to england with this tosser and has now moved on to another ex mate of mine,unbelieveable not so,anway thank you fb i think you have cost me my wife ,my kids and maybe my life,i think a lawyer from mars should take my case and sue fb for all it is worth and girls i hope one day you realise your dad tried to get you an education and loves you

  107. jazz christmas sheet music September 24, 2011 at 11:25 pm #

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  108. wayne October 4, 2011 at 7:31 pm #

    FACEBOOK SHOULD BE LIABLE FOR ALL THE CRAP PAIN HEARTACHE AND FAMILY BREAKUPS
    IF PEOPLE WANT TO USE FACEBOOK FOR AFFAIRS THEN THEY SHOULD MAKE FB A SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE CALL IT CHEATBOOK OR 2FACEDBOOK

    • Gabriel January 30, 2012 at 3:00 am #

      That’s just silly. It’s not the fault of Facebook. It’s the people who use it and how they use it. I remember the first years of AOL. It had tons of chat rooms, many used specifically for finding dates, whatever. I even met my wife on AOL. Today, it’s Facebook. Who knows what’s next? Either way, it is what the human does with the tool, not the other way around.
      Let me first say that I loved my wife very much, and treated her as well as I could for 14 years, 8 of it married. She never complained about anything, seemed happy to me and I thought our marriage was great. She kept saying it was great.
      My bad luck with Facebook was because of my wife. It was not Facebook’s fault. I had a facebook account, and had 24 friends and hardly ever chatted on Facebook. My wife said she also hardly used it, so she never accepted my friend requests or sent me an invite in 5 years (though I do see one of my attempts in her Trash folder :) The only friend request in that folder, out of 180 friends. Turns out she had over 180 friends, but most of her focus was the men, many who came from very similar molds.
      She did the whole bit, the texting late at night when I’d fall asleep, getting on Facebook from 2-4am, pretending to work late to get on Facebook and chat for 45 min before coming home to hubby and crying kidsl But, she got over confident, and her other life was caught and exposed all at once.
      This exposure started from one text message I had seen at a glance and then the discovery of her Facebook life, ‘cos she would forget to log off Facebook, some times on my laptop. I found 5 years of Facebook messages and wall postings, many attempt at asking men out for dinners, drinks , even mocking me and disrespecting me on her PUBLIC wall. With and without facebook, I ended up finding 7 different times in 2010-2011 where she was asking men out to “drinks/dinner/whatever…” and “most of all I’d like to catch up in person” ibut months of lies and men and attempts to date men, “see other people” as she said in her own words. I offered to wipe the slate clean and forgive all she the stuff she had done, all she had to do is prove to me she wasn’t addicted to Facebook, simply by staying off Facebook for 3 months. The marriage versus 3 months of facebook. She panicked at the idea, got upset, and was never able to accept that simple request. I gave this marriage 3 months of marriage counseling and did all I coulld. So, I am now getting divorced due to 5 years of her Facebook cheating. (and a little bit of plain old emails)

  109. Terry October 8, 2011 at 3:29 am #

    Well, I’ve been with my girlfriend for a few years now and I was planning on marrying her soon. I refinanced my mortgage and got a home equity line of credit to help out. After our anniversary vacation I accidently stumbled upon a text message on her cell phone. I read a few lines and was floored at what I saw.

    She was getting “turned on” by her co-worker and the stupid flirty text messages. What makes matters worse is that these messages occurred on our friggin anniversary date while we were on vacation. I started trembling and shaking and immediately confronted her. She denies anything happened and it was just stupid texting.

    I really wish I didn’t confront her right away and maybe read a bit more or see what was in fact going on. I love her and want to believe that this was just one big mistake and nothing physical actually happened. I’ve caught her in a few lies and inconsistencies about the whole situation. I’ve found out that this has been building up for several months now.

    We have our ups and downs after the incident. I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night after a bad dream about it. I know she still talks to him. She emails, texts him still but she says it’s just work related or nothing to worry about. I don’t like not being about to trust her. Some times I feel like I would have rather caught them in the act so I could just move on.

    Of course she says she is sorry about the whole thing but I find it disrepectful that she still talks to him.

    Sigh.

    • Gabriel January 31, 2012 at 12:49 am #

      I understand your confused feelings about your wife. When I first found out all the stuff about my marriage, I was floored. I had no idea at all what my wife was really doing, but I was still in love with her. But, I had to face reality, and so should you. If after getting caught sending those messages to another man, she kept on emailing, texting and who knows what. That is not the actions of a woman that wants to save her marriage. That’s more like someone who is looking for an easy way out of their marriage, rather than someone who wants to fix your marriage. Please, don’t stop looking for info about her. Try out other social networking sites. Send out a few emails to hotmail, gmail, etc… and see if any with your wife’s name go through as vaid emails and don’t bounce.
      I hate to be the bringer of bad news, but with what you’ve said, and the fact she did iit on your anniversary, seems more like a cruel joke than an effort to save her marriage. I couldn’t stay with a woman who would do that. That’s why I’m getting divorced. We tried for 4 months and lots of counseling to save this, but my wife didn’t take a moment of the counseling seriously. She never did one of the questionnairess he wanted us to fill out. My wife cheated on Facebook from late 2007 to Sep 9, 2011, when I caught her. And, since she was so verbal, and put soooo much on her public wall, it was easy to find out all sorts of bad things about her. I was lied to from day 1. It was really fun seeing my wife callling other men sexy on her public wall, where all my co-workers and friends could see. It was a blast seeing my wife trying to plan a vacation to visit her old college friends, but without me. She tried this 3 times, but couldn’t figure out a way to do it without getting caught. Oh, and her not wanted to get caught had nothing to do with love, and everything to do with trying to get accesss to my retirement money. She actually had her first conversatiion with her brother, discussing my finances, assets, debts, etc…. in June 2011. I didn’t catch her until Sep 9. 2011. We were not fighting at all in June. But, my wife was already talking about my money and getting a lawyer (behind my back of course).

  110. lazylion October 11, 2011 at 3:05 am #

    Let us remember the reason that facebook was started in the first place: the guy was cheated on or dumped and wanted to keep tabs on his girl. Or something like that the story goes and Facebook was born. I am glad to see how many men are chiming in about how disrespectful flirting online can be, especially if you are married or in a serious relationship with someone you deeply love and trust. I think that if the guy is right, then the woman will be tempted to take it to the next level, much like how men do when they are flirting and married or in a serious commitment. I have met some gorgeous men from all over the world, and it is very tempting.
    So if for no other reason about this post, I just want to share how important love and trust is in any relationship, especially when you are married to someone who loves you. That is nothing to throw away. My husband, soon to be ex found that out the hard way. While he felt it was ok to joke and pal around and that it meant nothing, it eroded my trust for him. I had already felt he was deceitful and when I saw that he was flirting with other women, I instantly knew this marriage was over. He did cheat. It didn’t happen through facebook, but it is just the same. In the end, it cost him losing everything just for some fun. So think twice if you really love your guy or your gal because you know if the situation was reversed, it would tear you up inside.

  111. Audrina Jimenez October 16, 2011 at 7:03 am #

    I been living with my boyfriend for 2yrs. We both have facebook accounts which was not an issue in our relationship because we trusted each other i thought. Well one day while watching a movie at home he forgets to log off from facebook. I then go and get the computer to log in. I seen that he was still logged in so i decide to go through his messages even though i thought it was not right for me to do that. While going through his messages i found some messages were hes flirting with girls. I then confront him about them and he apologizes and says he wont do it again. I kind of let it go because i love him and we have a son of 2 months old, although still hurts. Several weeks pass by and i find some again and confront him and tell him why he does this to me if i have never done anything like this to him and again apologizes. After this it was hard for me to trust him, whenever he would log in into facebook, i would think he’s flirting with girls. Well it turns out that he did it again. I told him to delete his facebook and he did. I kept mine because he knows i would never do such thing. I only have my family and friends added. When i told him i still had it a day after he deleted his he got so mad and told me “why you made me delete my facebook if you were going to keep yours?” I told him that if he wanted i would delete it but he said “No, now im going to re-open mine” and I told him that okay i wont mind but i will only trust him if he gives me his password and i will give him mine. He right away said “NO, that he wont and he will keep using it.” I know he doesnt go out with any girl but it hurts me that he does this too me. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO? I NEED ADVICE???

    • karen October 22, 2011 at 3:10 am #

      hey girl it is really h

  112. craig October 17, 2011 at 1:26 am #

    i have the same problem with my girlfriend we both have fb and i have seen the flirty messages she has been sending to this guy she denied the whole thing saying it wasnt her but the a few weeks ago everyone in her work was putting on fb are you no going out with that guy or hows you and that guy so i asked her if she seeing him she denied it all but then i get told that the guy she ment to be seeing is picking hur up from work and takeing hur to his bit but she keeps saying to me that there nothing going on the only thing is i dont no who to beleave anymore as everyone knows about it were she stay i have tryed to talk to her but she just keeps putting it off all the time and i am in two minds of finishing it or not what do yous think a should do about it .

  113. karen October 22, 2011 at 3:09 am #

    I been married for three years and i never liked the idea of fb but since my husband is from a different country i decided we will give it a try. BIG mistake after FB our relationship went down the drain he would accept anybody in his FB. He had lots of girls and I knew this was gonna be a problem. Our relationship finally reached the end and we separated to two months i left him not because of FB but because it was just not a good relationship at the time and i couldnt figure out what was wrong. After completely cutting him off from my life i mean i changed my number and there was no way for him to talk to me he looked for me called my family and finally wen I saw him after two months he wanted to get back together. I discover that he had meet someone on FB from his home country about a month before we broke up and he began calling her on the phone wen we got into fights so she became his scape goat. But after our relationship ended he realized (so he says) that she ment nothing and he truly loves me and wants to come home. Can I really trust this man again? By the way he has removed most of the people from his FB and has a PIC of me and him in his profile pic plus he has given me the password for his FB, email and changed his number once again can he really b sorry?????? and can I trust him again??????

    • Ray November 24, 2011 at 1:08 pm #

      I really dont know if you can trust him… trust your gut!! If you feel uneasy about this , it is likely because you have a reason to feel this way.. He could have another email account, another facebook account etc that you dont even know about… It is so easy to cheat online. Ive seen it with my own eyes how easy it is as my husband did it to me

  114. martin November 2, 2011 at 10:10 pm #

    oh, and here I am WISHING my wife would show interest in other men. She a prude, and its been a boring 12 years in the bedroom. I’d love her to get more attention, find her old boyfriends on FB, and tell me all about any nice spicy things they say to her !! I’m trying to encourage it!!

  115. Atash November 19, 2011 at 12:30 pm #

    Hi All
    It happened to me as well ! I am in a relationship almost for 10 years , and I had this deep trust for my partner for always ! But it was last year when he start to use Facebook Frequently !
    I had never checked his phone or his other personal belonging before ,but one day after I saw that he is spending too much time chatting in Facebook instead of talking with me ! I opened his message box and yes ! Sadly there was a history of 3 month chat with another girl !
    I couldn’t keep this for myself so I told him that I know what you are doing ,he was surprised because he never though I might open his inbox ! He told me that nothing is going on and blah blah ,blah !!! And top of them he accused me of not trusting him and after a long speech I became a bad person for looking at his personal messages … I tried to leave him at that time but he didn’t let me and he made on oath that he will stop and nothing will happen again

    After months , one day I checked his inbox and there was another girl …. I told him you are cheating on me ,but he answered me that I didn’t fuck her this only chatting and I never cheat on you ! This is not cheating and I need to talk with girls ,and you are a suspicious person who pushing me ! But he said he is sorry and again stopped me to not leaving him !

    Oh , yesterday after another one month ,I checked again ,and there again the first girl !
    This time I didn’t read the message only seeing her name was enough , when I told him he shout at me that you are a sick person for controlling me , so I left home suddenly and I tied to cut this relationship ! But he called and called and begged me to comeback he strongly told me that there is nothing between them and ….. Cheating is only when you fuck someone !!!! But I don’t think so ! I believe in a long term relationship or even friendship when one person hiding something and he is not truthful he is cheating ,he could told me in first place honestly then in ever checked him ………. Now i really don’t know what to do ?! I love him so much I can’t live without him it is like he’ll for me to leave him ,but in other hand I think it might happen this time for real ……

    ( English is not my first language so sorry for any mistake !!!! )

  116. Ray November 24, 2011 at 12:58 pm #

    I am in this situation as well.. My husband is on facebook as well flirting with numerous women. I actually caught it all when I had access to his computer which is a rare thing. I found that he has been emailing women wiht overtly sexual content…. and it wasnt only fantasy as he asked for pictures as well … I just know deep down he was actually with at least one even though I couldn t find evidence in the short amount of time that I had this access. I also saw that he has profiles on dating sites.. interesting.. he even had a profile on a cheating site with his picture! it all leads to infidelity . I really HoNESTLY do not know if I believe in harmless flirting anymore. Why do you need to constant approval of the opposite sex to feel better about yourself? THat is sad. FLirting only leads to thoughts of being with other people and puts weak people in a position where they sometimes get caught in a snowball effect of flirting leads to this which leads to this and so on. I am not a prude.. I am not overly religious so I am coming from this as a person who just sees what happens out there. If you are hiding things from your spouse at all. you are doing something that you know is bad and it IS bad. I just dont understand though, if you arent happy in your relationship, GET OUT OF IT before getting caught up in all this kindof mess.. doesnt make sense to me at all

  117. Ray November 24, 2011 at 1:04 pm #

    oh adn to ATASH, all guys will say that it isnt cheating unless they are fucking.. He continued even after you caught him.. disrespectful especially when he knew how much grief it caused you. EXACTLY like my husband. He continued as well. I honestly do not have access to any of his passwords and dont snoop but he had his computer on a couple weeks ago and while he was typing on facebook I leaned over and saw that a girl I asked him to delete (that he met on a dating site when we werent together) had contacted him on facebook through message and they were chatting.. Thats it for us.. I honestly cant take anymore and am trying to find the inner strength to leave him. He doesnt even know that I saw this.. I kept mum but, Im working on an exit plan right now

    • machineguns November 27, 2011 at 6:08 am #

      I am at the end of the divorce process from my wife…….wife of 7+ years and my first child for me in my mid 40′s. She won custody due to her being an at home mother and the bonding issues the courts like to see. Morals don’t count for squat folks and a cheater can win in court, especially a woman. She did and I was doing the right thing. I caught her on the internet planning to meet up and leave after I left for out of town work again (bad economy, doing what I had to do for her to be an at home mother like she wanted to be.) I used a program called WEB WATCHER…the best 99 bucks spent if you really want to confirm your suspicions. I always trusted her, until I found out about her getting flowers, then her not wanting to talk, the same strange out of state phone number and the attitude without reason and distance emotionally. I lost my little girl to a cheater in the custody, pay over 800 a month to this cheater in child support and had to sell my home. I am stuck now living with my parents in my mid 40′s, unemployed again and life is sucking hard. The stress emotionally has nearly led me to kill myself a few times, but somehow I just keep hanging in there. When will she get her dues? Probably never, if you don’t think this is cheating, then fool yourself and carry on about your business. Emotional cheating on this level is more devastating than you may comprehend. Its a betrayal of all betrayals………a one night stand is more easy to understand, but a 6 month, thought about conscious choice to betray is unforgivable. I suggested counseling in the beginning and she didn’t think it was working, why because she wasn’t interested in fixing anything. She had her mind made up when she cheated. Cut your losses folks and if you have the balls and smarts…….hang in there change your circumstances to your advantage in court to win your child……..remember courts don’t care about morals so if you are in the same boat as me, better think again if you think that you’ll win because you caught them doing something wrong………the courts don’t care about the one that was cheated on in the least…..its not relevant whatsoever! Move on, lose the loser!
      Email me if you want to know more. blackriverrt3@gmail.com

      • Scott December 10, 2011 at 5:04 am #

        @machineguns; good post. I am very surprised at how many folks here question their beliefs in what they see if it’s cheating or not. I think they’re delusional and are afraid but a physical connection is not the behavior of cheating. Did anyone here ever read the Bible? What Jesus said about lust in a person’s heart being just as guilty as the actual deed? It’s pointless to over-analyze such a simplistic point that’s been around for thousands of years. And one female stated that she met a guy at a bar, he being married under 12 months, she was single. So, in her one sentence of saying this she is saying that:

        1. She has no problem cheating with married men
        2. He has no respect toward the sanctity of marriage

        Yes throughout her post, she’s justifying her behavior by simplifying her situation.

        Both need to find professional help into finding out why there are wired this way.

      • jc December 18, 2011 at 8:54 am #

        You have it bad, I’m in the same boat but mine , that I just fund out and is denieng, and keeps denieing, than gets fricking pissed at me for acusing her and calling me every name in the book, since we have not been living together cause of her job field she decided to enter into, the army. But I know theres something still.going on. After she hangs up on me, I always get a text are you still.mad at me, I’m sorry, after every time I hear someone with her, or catch her in a lie, always. We have been togethr for 11 years, married for 6 of them. Just found out some new stuff that she has been cheating for 5 years. I never knew, I always was at aptly. Now I’m at a loss for what to do considering. We have children , but she says she will change, but. From whatvi see that going on and continueing , I don’t know what to do. I feel lost.

  118. Keylogger spy software November 29, 2011 at 12:20 pm #

    Awww it seems really depressing, I can understand your feeling as I have been going through a break up. I and my wife have been living happily since last 5 years, I have never forbid her from anything like hanging out with friends, making calls to fiends and chatting etc since we got married. We were spending very happy life with 2 years old son. Years went by and one day I noticed that she has started spending more time in chatting and started treating me like crap– never happened before. I could see it in her– I hated it and asked her to stop this all but every time she denied by saying that “don’t you believe me?” but I knew something wasn’t right, shutting the computer every time I walked by, was obviously doubtful. This situation was pissing me off and I discussed this all with my friend and he told me about software to get out of this doubt. I installed that software and accessed all the conversation she made with guy. It was so hurting for me to know that she was totally head over heels in love with other guy. I love her very much but I really don’t know what to do know, How to get over a broken heart, please advice

  119. Cara December 14, 2011 at 10:21 pm #

    My husband has been doing this for what I thought was just only a few months now, but after digging deep through his facebook, he has actually been doing it since just before he even asked me to marry him. It is very hurtful, and when I confront him, he says I shouldn’t be going through his private stuff. He says what he is doing is not wrong. I’m sure he truly knows what’s wrong and right and it wouldn’t be okay if the tables were turned, but of course he will say its harmless just so he can continue “getting away” with it. Its nice to see on here that its not just women getting hurt and men can have the same feelings (which shows I’m am indeed NOT just a paranoid, nagging wife). Wish I had a man who truly understood, guess I got one of the shitbags…doubt marriage counselling will change him either, too damn stubborn and set in his ways.

    • Sad Girl December 21, 2011 at 10:43 pm #

      I just caught my fiance doing this because he forgot to log out his Facebook. I was shocked that flirting was just a common everyday thing for him. He was even asking for phone numbers, sex chats and God knows what other things he have done in there. It hurts so much i have to log out because I can’t keep reading his private messages after just 3 different woman. What hurts the most is that, some of the messages dated on the time I started to work on our wedding for next year. I knew something is not right, because he wouldn’t let me go to his all his private stuff like phone, emails and Facebook which I totally respect but he can access mine because I’m not bothered with him going through that kind my stuff . I confronted him and he said he hasn’t done anything away from Facebook. We have been together for 11 years and it’s not like I never had any trust issues with him before. But I’m devastated to what i learned. I love him so much and I’m too scared of what my life is going to be without him. But I’m also scared of my future with him as my husband.

  120. Dave January 10, 2012 at 10:16 pm #

    Facebook ruins marriages, plain and simple. Ever if little or nothing is happening, there is trust that is lost.

    Contact with an old lover on Facebook sends a clear message to the other partner, I don’t care what the circumstances of the contact. Then trust starts to fade and may never return.

  121. christina January 23, 2012 at 4:52 pm #

    omg so true! the same problem i have with my boyfriend can u even imagine he tinks everything is ok jus because he doesnt flirt in public but he does do online!!!! come on people these tings can really hurt esp wen the one u love is constantly enjoyin dem selves on fb instead of going out wit his gf in reality! people tink these tings r baseless but truely their not! i dnt no wat to do whether to stop him or let him enjoy his freedom but i cant understand sumting its the same ting as flirtin in public its the same way because two people r communicating wit each other only by usin text its sum wat similar to bein on the telephone duh! however everytime i talked to him abt him he wud just say its ”’TALKS” and it doesnt mean anyting but i bet if i started doin sumting like dat he wouldnt relent..!!!!

  122. HurtManWalking January 27, 2012 at 3:35 pm #

    What can I say about FB? I hate all that it did to my marriage. My wife and I were together 3 years. I met her living at home with her mother and 2 girls. Like the kind person I am I took her in and took care of her 2 daughters who I love. I lost my job and she had to find one and when that happened my whole world ended. I first caught her in a lie to me about some dude who she told me when she had no idea of who I was speaking of but caught his number in her phone. Her answer to that was he is a co-worker and he needs to let me in the store since the doors are locked at a cretin time. Okay I believed that. Next caught her on FB speaking in Spanish to another man about how some day she wanted to be with him so on and so on. I let that go and told her no more FB or it was going to ruin our marriage she agreed just to open another FB account and make it private to which I caught her on again. She ended up leaving me for I could not ditch my marriage vows to her and leave. She still uses me and my weak hart for her and I let her. Not no more. We were working on us and I had caved in got her a cell phone under my contract and would you know it she was getting on FB again and calling some dude in Mexico for which her lame excuse was oh I thought I was sending a message on FB not texting to Mexico? This broad is a hoe and a lying cheat who does not deserve such a loyal man. She is a user and I am not sure after her if I will ever trust another woman let alone marry another. We have a son together and she will use the kids as her leverage to get what she wants. While we were working things out she would tell me she loves me and have sex with me just to manipulate me and use me more. She tells me yesterday that I knew the relations ship was over a long time ago. Okay, so why have sex with me and tell me you love me? She has messed up my head so much that I can’t even think clearly and drink a lot to hide my feelings of pain. How can a human being do such things to another? I am sure there are things I don’t even know about or want to know about. All I can do is think of my son and how much I love him. He loves his dad and can not understand why I am no longer there. He is only 3 and is so confused and hurt by me not being there. I have stopped calling her and have not spoken to her for days now. Ugh. Ruined.

  123. MrM January 31, 2012 at 5:34 am #

    I am currently going throught the second round of facebook flirting from my husband, after he promised me never to do it again (he knows how much it hurts me). He actually left the offending messages on my computer so when I came home, there it was. He tells girls he works with how HOT they are, and talks of going to strip clubs with them, in private messgaes. I really want to believe him when he says it’s nothing, but nothing to whom? Because it’s certainly something to me. He even tried to tell me other girls need confidence too…..what a lame excuse. I am currently trying to figure out if he will change or if this is reall the end of it. We have been together 18 years now, is there any hope for us? I still love him.

  124. steve February 19, 2012 at 10:15 pm #

    My wife was talking to X boy friend for 2 years On face book. She wasnt flirting Just friends. My wife & i are married for 26 years. We go to Auctions their he is.I ask him u go to Sales often he said no. What is Cheating Wife said the are just old friends get over it. & dont u trust me. Dot wot to heer ay more get over it .I took him off Facebook Get over it What is Cheating Thanks Everyone

  125. laura February 20, 2012 at 3:09 pm #

    my husband recently started doing that, and I confronted him-especially about why he would quickly shut the computer, why he kept checking on me in the bedroom, and he gave me a load of why he talks to this girl because he feels responsible for why she is where she is. Also, even though he admitted good things about me to her, it is obvious she is infactuated with him and it is an ego booster. He has stopped for now, but the trust is really broken for me.

  126. Ann February 20, 2012 at 7:07 pm #

    An old boyfriend of mine just got engaged last August-we were friends on facebook, but then after he became engaged he would IM me calling me beautiful, etc. I let him have it and told him he had no business talking to me that way when he just got engaged-I also asked him how his fiance would feel if she knew this…he got really pissed off and defriended me immediately which is probably the best thing that could have happened. I am not dating anyone, and we really did not talk that much. It was just wrong and I would not want another woman doing that to me

    • zdbz February 23, 2012 at 3:43 pm #

      I strongly believed my partner would do what you have done if her ex BF came on to her but instead they _____ . I wish my partner was true like you ann. thanks for sharing.

  127. Hurt March 7, 2012 at 2:53 pm #

    My wife and I split up after 17years of marriage, she became married to Facebook and started hooking up with ex boyfriends etc on line and argued the site was for her privacy, she eventually walked out as she ended up believing the cyber worl is the real world. She is now a sad 38 year old party goer supported by me and with limited access to her kids. I then met a new girl and after nearly a year she let her face book open on my kids I pad. I rightly or wrongly looked at some conversations which included her offering to unwrap herself for Christmas with another guy and lick chocolate from his body 5days before I took her on holiday with my kids. She claims I am the unfaithful on e as I betrayed her trust by looking on line…I love the girl…but …….what would you do….confidence is not at the highest and I think end it now…hart says different…please post advice…without emotion

    • Be respectful March 7, 2012 at 3:07 pm #

      Man have a bit of self respect. Those who flirt on line flirt off line, itsall just a little bit of history repeating!
      Kids need stability and you are going 2 for 0 and still thinking it may be ok. You are crazy even considering going forward with this girl.

    • fi March 9, 2012 at 12:38 am #

      Oh my god exact same as me…so sad and confused but still cant walk away even thoigh i know what he is up to…aaaahhh

  128. fi March 9, 2012 at 12:33 am #

    Hi
    i am in the same situation my man of 8 years is always flirting and poking girls on fb…i have his
    password but he doesnt know and see messages to different girls nearly every day..i have them all saved but so afraid to end my relationship of been alone but yet i lnow he is makin a fool of me.i said it to him before that he left hia page open and he promised he would stop as i let him know how upset i was.i would love to post the messages on his page or set up a fake page and flirt with him or just give him them but i wud like people to know what he is like…ssssooo cofused…please help x

    • star March 12, 2012 at 8:13 pm #

      sounds like you already are alone honey. Just because you share a bed with someone, and a home doesnt mean your not alone. You confront him, and feel powerfull in doing it. You dont deserve to be treated this way ( no matter the difficulties youve experienced in your relationship). He must shut down that facebook immediately, or you should leave. He has used it to hurt you with. If it continues- even once more after confrontation, or he keeps his facebook, then you must leave and take care of yourself.

  129. star March 12, 2012 at 8:27 pm #

    My advice to all that have been cheated on by partners using FB is this ; Confront your partner, demand their FB be shut down. All of your partners have used this program to humiliate, hurt and deceive you with. All of their actions have been neglectful, disrespectful, thoughtless, or just plain cruel. They no longer get to have FB and YOU. If your making the sacrifice of staying with them – giving them trust one more time, then they can make the sacrifice of loosing FB. DONT FORGIVE AND LET GO UNTIL THEY HAVE PROVEN THAT THEY ARE WILLING TO MAKE SACRIFICES TO KEEP THE RELATIONSHIP HEALTHY. Deleting their FB account is a good start to prove that.

    Cheating is doing something with another that you WOULDNT do in front of your partner. They hide it because they KNOW that their actions are hurtfull to you. Good luck my friends nothing feels as bad as partner cheating. It is truly damaging and and the lowest level of selfishness.

  130. SadSadSad March 14, 2012 at 2:06 pm #

    Hey guys. So I’ve been reading this thread, or most of it anyways, and I’m really saddened by what everyone seems to be going through. I can’t even believe how much of an impact Facebook has had on our relationships – It seems like they just tear them apart more than anything. I know that we should be able to trust our significant others no matter what, but when Facebook is involved, what is so comforting about keeping a private profile? Anyways – Here’s my story. So my boyfriend of about five months decided to go through my phone. I have an iPhone, so yes I have all the apps and whatever. I was right there beside him when he decides to look at my Facebook inbox. Here is where I have over 500 messages with dudes “hitting me up.” First of all, I know they should be deleted but I get like, five a day, and I DO have a life outside of Facebook so I’ve just let them accumulate – there has been no replies, for I don’t talk to people I don’t know on a personal level. Also, I didn’t think he would creep my whole entire phone like that. Anyways, it happened, but as he looked like his world was shattering at the amount of boys who try to hit on his girl everyday, he saw one message in particular I was having with a boy who I actually know. However it was all in the name of friendship – The boy I was talking to had just broken up with his girlfriend, was back on Facebook and was “scoping out the scene” if you will. I hadn’t talked to him in over a year, so I thought, he’s just seeing how I’m doing, no harm in that. Anyways, two weeks later we started texting each other. Still, all in the name of friendship. He would ask me to hang out and I’d still say no, I have a boyfriend. All in all I probably sent like, 30 messages back and fourth to this boy. Keep in mind the whole entire time I was still head over heals with my boyfriend and would never do anything to hurt him. Anyways, he FLIPPED out and broke up with me. Now I’m just heartbroken and I don’t know what to do. All in all though, I don’t exactly feel like I did anything wrong. I was just talking to this boy in the name of friendship, and my ex (now) just doesn’t believe it. I can see where he’d be overcome with jealousy, but is what I did really that wrong? I didn’t cheat, there wasn’t any flirting, just small talk. My Facebook is deleted now, and I don’t plan on ever going back. He says he “just needs a little time to think.” He’s just hurt by the fact I was actually talking to him. I care so much for my boyfriend and I was even about to tell him I loved him. My questions – is what I did really that wrong? Would you break up with someone over something like this? Do you think he’ll come back? I’ve been begging, and I don’t want this to end. This only happened like a couple days ago too so I’m still waiting for him. What do I do! :( I feel like he might come back after like, a week or two. But then again who knows. I just need a fresh perspective, help me.

  131. Friend Of a Friend March 16, 2012 at 5:53 am #

    Recently ran into a buddy of mine. We exchanged greetings and etc. Buddy asked if I was still married and I said ‘yea’. Buddy said they just reunited after breaking up.Thats when he said his GF had reconnected with her ex-BF on Facebook. A-HA!!!! Bingo!!!! Apparently the GF had took off to be with her ex but didn’t work out. GF came back. According to my buddy, GF believes there is nothing wrong with chatting with guys on FB.
    I told my buddy to check out this site and the stories that Facebook is doing a superb job breaking up relationships and marriages.

  132. Paula March 19, 2012 at 3:19 pm #

    This sounds almost exactly like my situation, only difference is it’s my husband…I can’t give you any answers, only to say..YES! it is highly inappropriate for anyone who is married

  133. Trisha March 20, 2012 at 4:59 pm #

    I always thought my husband was one of the good ones. We have been married for 10 years and he joined Facebook about a year ago. I don’t even know where to start describing how Facebook has come between us. He joined a “secret” group on fb which was a clique of co-workers from his job who wanted to gossip about work. He was invited to join the group, it was a new job for him, and he felt flattered I guess. So that’s why he joined fb. The leader of “the group” is a guy who is always wanting to go out every weekend to strip clubs or bars and he is looking to have affairs outside his marriage with girls inside and outside “the group”. He also pays for sex and goes to sexual massage parlours. Anyway this guy pressures my husband to go with “the group” on these debauched outings and hubby shows me the invites and usually does not go. Usually. I have caught him lying to me on occasion and going out with “the group”. Well it wasn’t brain science, since he came home late and drunk more than once and he confessed to sneaking out. I thought it was the leader who was pressuring him but I saw his fb page and he is flirting with girls in his group. One girl he is head over heels crazy about! I am so shocked, did not expect this from him! Confronted him and he said nothing physical has happened, it’s all just ‘virtual’ flirting and fantasy… so confused! He says he’s very sorry but I don’t know if I can trust him? Oh BTW he’s like 10 years older than the people in his “group”. And obviously these people don’t care if he’s married. What hurt me was seeing him talk about me on fb behind my back, saying that we had fights ( that we didn’t have) or that we were having problems in our relationship. Like if he had a problem with our relationship, why didn’t he tell me? Why is he talking to bimbos and adulterers about our marriage? Seems he is trying to justify his behaviour and / or get sympathy. I caught him on fb making one on one plans with one of the bimbos that he was flirting with. He has promised not to meet her but I don’t know. I don’t trust him anymore. I’m not gonna say that fb has destroyed my marriage but now my marriage is in a shambles and I don’t think this would have happened if not for Facebook. Like I said, ten happy years of marriage, he was my best friend, I thought I had one of the good ones. I am devastated.

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  136. Unhappy in New Jersey May 15, 2012 at 7:31 pm #

    So I am a happily married women. We just got married Thanksgiving weekend. Before we met I would randomly just IM with a persian male model. It was and just is flirting in my book. And I have no explanation for why I still IMed with him a few days ago. My husband found out and is really upset. It hurts me to know that I have hurt him and I was so dumb. I don’t know what it is inside of me that needed the attention from this guy to actually IM with him. I don’t know why I needed that attention of someone so gorgeous flirting with me when I seriously am married to the perfect man. My husband is tall dark and handsome and the most loyal, genuine and happy person you can meet. He is smart and takes care of me as I switch careers to be a nurse. I won’t lie that our sex life isn’t the greatest. He wants it to be but I have my own personal past issues that make me not a sexual person even though I crave to be. I know I wouldn’t and never have technically cheated but I did IM with another man. I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know how to take the hurt away. I don’t know how to make things better and change myself. I am feeling so lost. Please if you have any input or guidance on what I can do to take the hurt away, make him happy and be more of a sexual being for him. I never imagined I would be here from a STUPID IM that I should have never had. We look like a perfect gorgeous couple on the outside but obviously something is seriously lacking that I need and WANT to fix. I am so lost.

    • joe May 17, 2012 at 12:36 am #

      read what i wrote

  137. joe May 16, 2012 at 11:53 pm #

    My wife of 25 years was flirting with her HS boy freind for 9 monthsl. the y both established seperate email accounts and code names in the phones for secret texting. after I found out by email from the mans wife she was very remorcefull about it but I think she was that way because she and he gat caught. I never would have known. the mans doughter back in september of 2011 sent her an email stating dont have anymore contact with my dad or my mother and I will tell your husband and send him all the email we have and tell him what is going on. sometime between then and january 2012 she sent him a card saying how much she missed talking to him. his wife found it and then they proceeded to tell every thing they new. it has ruined my life. the biggest loss i have is loosing the trust I had for my wife. I am always suspiciouse of what she is saying on facebook(which I cant beleive she is still on) but who is she texting. she says I can look at her phone anytime but she is the “daughter of a detective ” so she deleetes everthing. she deeleted the email account and had her SIM card cleared before I could have it scanned. please dont.have a freind of the opposite sex unless you prtner knoes them too. it will fuck up you relationship and your life. I am waiting until my youngest moves out in 2 years. then I tell her to fuck off. until them viagra and zoloft and me are going to tear that thing up so it will be no good to anyone else when IM gone. HaHA bitch. be unloyal to me.

    • Unhappy in New Jersey May 23, 2012 at 5:04 am #

      Thank You Joe. I believe you are right. I assumed it was harmless to keep in contact with people from the past but it is obviously not the case even if I had not intentions at all of cheating sort on my mind. I need to put my husband and only him first in my life and the rest do not matter. After all what do relationships like that really offer you? He is my rock and no one else. I have learned my lesson and will no longer communicate at all with anyone from the past. I love him too much to have made such a stupid mistake. I will work hard to get us back to where we were. I have made it evident to any old acquaintances that I have time for no one but my husband, family and new career towards nursing. I appreciate the feedback and wish you the best. Marriage is hard but I really do now see we must always make a conscious effort to not lose ourselves in every day life and keep one another stimulated at all times.

  138. joe May 17, 2012 at 3:47 am #

    stupid bitch you dont know what youhave done to your family by satisfying your personal needs because you were Lonely when I was out working 20 hours a day to provide for YOU.. and our kids, our home,your durango , your expensive dogs,

  139. sonja May 17, 2012 at 8:59 am #

    Facebook and flirting ?

    I don’t think it’s a good combination . There are so many stories and examples that show how bad it can be. Especially if you have some “somebody’s that you use to know” in the friend list, Uh, that could be tricky…

    I personally had troubles with that, that is why I never use FB for flirting, it’s too public, and people are not careful enough , they just share everything..

    There is one video I stumbled upon recently and it pretty much explains the threats of FB flirting .

    Here is the link
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pH0NmbZcEs&list=PL774331D703A1D0BC&index=93&feature=plpp_video

  140. P May 17, 2012 at 2:45 pm #

    dear all

    am stunned at how much pain and hurt is here.

    he was online surfing porn. he was online getting erotic and romantic with his ex on fb.
    he was very busy social networking. he is a teacher and he was flirting with his young adult female students and filmed them on his pc and phone during class and tests

    i was in love. i was pregnant. i was in the hospital. i was in the other room
    with the baby.
    i still feel the pain more than 2 years later. i left. i had to for my 2 kids. he doesn’t deserve
    any of our love or respect but i am trying not to be bitter or angry. times have changed. progress has brought human nature and technology together. we need to educate our kids and address the issues of technology and relationships. teachers, psychologists
    counsellors, what is fidelity, respect, the future for our kids and their self worth, self esteem, emotional well being and relationships?
    broken hearted but stronger and surer than ever about what i do not need in my life

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  142. Micki August 26, 2012 at 10:49 pm #

    I have to say this whole line of conversation ultimately displays insecurity – in yourselves and mistrust in your partners.

    Agreed if it has been taken out of the virtual world into the real world…then it’s cheating but online as in everything online….it’s NOT REAL.

    I think you lot are looking for an excuse to end a relationship you’re not happy in because you have trust issues!

  143. Saner August 27, 2012 at 8:26 am #

    My husband was more than a man when we got married , but after giving him a baby girl he started to neglect me and he disappeared with another woman until i used Vudoospell@gmail.com love spell which brought him back in 4days.
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  144. Sunshyne October 15, 2012 at 2:15 am #

    I’m sorry to hear of so many bad experiences, but I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one going through this crap. Thanks to all of you for sharing your stories. Here goes mine, I have been dating a guy for the last 7 months. The last 3 months we have been fighting over what I thought were completely stupid irrational things. They ranged from telling him no I wont show my boobs on facetime to him while he is out of town to me not being appreciative enough of him.
    Our latest bout was over facebook. I checked my facebook newsfeed and see a post by him on another womans photo. The photo was a pair of boobs in a very tight college team t-shirt. There at the bottom was his comment, “nice…uhhh…shirt”. I checked her page, she not only worked for the same company he does but she was working in the local out of town office an hour away! The realization that he took off to the local office once around lunch time to “have a serious talk with the owner”, but remembered that he came home saying the owner never showed up. So, who was he there at the office chatting with for hours became my question.
    So, during the arguement about how disrespectful to me he was being for making the comment (which he claimed was a joke “just giving her a hard time” he commences to tell me that I would REALLY be mad if I were to see some of the other messages from the other women at the office…… I was completely mortified, shocked unbelievably disgusted…..
    I wanted details, he mentions the fact that one girl said she needed a plumber and he told her he “would clean her pipes for her”. Folks, he isnt a freaking plumber! I told him that the sexual under tone to that comment was not acceptable. I told him that I didnt like that those women not only have his number because of work but also use it and there is nothing I can do short of making him quit his job. Upon telling him I dont want to cuddle of be close to him that I’m angry and upset, he says ” OMG, how long are you going to be made this time?” I looked absolutely atounded at him blinking my eyes in complete disbelief that he had no remorse, no apology and even had to nerve to be mad that I was upset. I told him that I would be mad as long as it took me to not be mad and that he had to choices, to either deal with me being angry or get the hell out!
    The following week, I mentioned buying an rv to save us both money on hotel room fees while working out of town and this man called me everything from stupid to worthless. I left that evening whenI got home. This man took two weeks to even make an apology. I read an article that says that cheaters will sometimes get their mate riled up to start an arguement to justify themselves cheating because they cant deal with the guilt. He still thinks I’m as dumb as a box of rocks folks lol He wants to get back together. Yet, now I work out of town and he is about 900 miles away. Enough rope to hang himself. He claims to have deleted his facebook and changed his phone number even. Do I trust him? HELL NO! He Will do it again. I have known his type before. I’m just thankful I didnt marry him when he asked months ago!!!
    Hope that helped folks! Take care and God Bless!

  145. Scott October 20, 2012 at 7:45 pm #

    My wife cheated on me with facebook friends, using fake accounts with fake names to carry on erotic chats and plan one on one meetings with a few guys she knew. One, if you can believe this, is himself a married Beverly Police Officer, his son attends the same school as our daughter, in fact his son and my daughter attended preschool together. So this piece of shit cop had no regard to the sanctity of my marriage, nor his,,,and to be frank I find it absolutely unreal that a police officer, representative of our community, representative of law himself committed breaches of Massachusetts General Law #272, Section 14 Adultery,,,and should be held accountable for that breach of law, held accountable for forcing my wife and I to now attend marriage councellng while on a military disability income which barely pays the bills and puts food on the table. So for any of you that have the slightest suspicion of your loved one being unfaithful in any way through Facebook, take my advice because I went through this 3 times with my wife, you are more than likely correct about your suspicions. My wife became more or less quite adept at using fake accounts, sneaking around, cheating on me,,,I am still with her and questioning why. Thankyou Facebook!!!

  146. Jim anonymou5e November 3, 2012 at 5:34 am #

    Just do what I did. Step one fake email. Step2 fake Facebook step 3 mutual friends with all her guy friends step 4 find out she’s flirting step5 confront the flirting step6 listen to a bs excuse step7issue warning step8 listen to another bs excuse step9 execute revenge number nine is the most important to step and can be crafted to your choosing….you could make a fake Facebook with her name and picture on it and then put HIV positive in the details….but I just slept with a stripper told her about it n broke it off….bitches r stupid

  147. Scorned woman November 20, 2012 at 8:16 pm #

    I have just found out my partner has been having realtionships via FB with at least two different girls from him past. I have confronted him and kicked him out as it has been going on for months and even while I was pregnant with our son. He is lying till he is blue in the face about being hacked and it wasn’t him, has anyone else experienced this crap excuse how do I prove he is full of it and make him come clean!!

  148. Wilfred November 21, 2012 at 3:45 am #

    I and my girlfriend brokeup just because i could not tolerate seeing her hanging out with guys that she claims to have nothing with but call them just mere friends.
    I could not take it anymore because i love her so much and though am jealous seeing other guys around her, i need her to understand that and respect that as well. But reverse was the case. she told me she was tired and could not continue, she complains that i dont trust her so how sure our relationship would lead to marriage.
    I was so devasted and could not lose my love just for my selfish reasons. so i found this spell lady online who then did a love spell to bring her back and made our relationship more closer than ever and even more happier. The spell lady did help my life, my job because i could not focus on anything, and even brought my lover back in to my life.
    The spell lady email is priestessifaa@yahoo.com, her spell is more powerful than i can evern imagine.

  149. Jeaa December 13, 2012 at 9:25 am #

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    The spell lady has no measure and i can never stop spreading her good works for bringing me happiness and joy. She helped my friend and now am testifying to it, why not do the same and dont make mistake in meeting rip you off on your pain. her email is priestessifaa@yahoo.com,
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    My name is Katya am from USA i never believe that my EX will ever come back to me after all that happens,well all thanks to DOCTOR SAKURA,i married to one MR Williams we got married at our early age of 20 we love our selves dearly,but after 30 years of our marriage my husband change and turn into some thing else it look like i married to a stranger,i was confuse so i don’t know what to do my children was aware of what is going on between both of us,they talk to there father and still yet he continued i later found out that my husband is seeing some one else i found out who this person is i discover she was just a little girl that is up to be my daughter’s age mate,she followed my husband just because of money and she was far younger than me could you believe my husband said to my face that am too old for him he need some one younger in his life that he needs a divorce he said to me is all over that he have nothing to do with me any longer,but i don’t know what to do i still love him some much not only for the love i have for him but for the children sake,how can some one from no were come into my house to ripe were she did not sold,i surf erred with my husband to get every thing we got today i came to think about it and i said to my self no i can’t let go just like that,i have always hard of a spell caster he have helped meaning of my friend to get there love once back and help then in different area were they are having problems,so i contacted him online and i share my problems with him he helped me out and my husband later come back to me with love and care just as before,once again thanks to DOCTOR SAKURA if you need his help contact him with this email: sakuraspelltemple@gmail.com he can help you to solve any of your problems okay.

  160. berina June 10, 2013 at 2:14 am #

    MY NAME IS Mrs berina I AM FROM NEW YORK CITY, USA. I NEVER BELIEVE IN LOVE SPELLS BEFORE NOT UNTIL I MET WITH THIS GREAT SPELL CASTER CALLED (DR. OLORU)HE IS REALLY POWERFUL AND HE IS SPECIALIZED ON A SPELL TO BRING BACK LOVE’S ONE,LOST, HE CAN ALSO MAKE SOME ONE TO LOVE YOU OR SPELL FOR A GOOD JOB. I AM NOW HAPPY AND A LIVING TESTIMONY BECAUSE THE MAN I WANTED TO MARRY LEFT ME 3 WEEK S BEFORE OUR WEDDING AND MY LIFE WAS UPSIDE DOWN COS OUR-RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ON FOR 3 YEARS…..I REALLY LOVE HIM, AND I CANNOT DO WITHOUT HIM..BUT ALL HIS RELATIONS WERE AGAINST OUR FRIENDSHIP INCLUDING HIS MOTHER AND HE HAD NO GOOD PAYING JOB…..SO WHEN I MET WITH THE SPELL CASTER I EXPLAINED TO HIM ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME…AT THE FIRST STAGE I WAS UNDECIDED, SKEPTICAL AND DOUBTFUL, BUT I JUST GAVE IT A TRY DUE TO DEPRESSION….AND IN 3 DAYS MY BOYFRIEND (NOW MY HUSBAND) CALLED ME BY HIMSELF AND CAME TO ME APOLOGIZING THAT EVERYTHING HAD BEEN SETTLED WITH HIS MOM AND FAMILY…THAT IS HOW WE GOT MARRIED AND HAPPILY TOGETHER NOW…YOU CAN CONTACT THIS SPELL CASTER ON HIS EMAIL olorulovespell@yahoo.com

  161. Chook June 10, 2013 at 8:51 pm #

    It can definitely be a kick in the gut when you find your other half making sexual comments towards another the opposite sex through social network.

    I never really was fond of the female that my man had previously been best friends with. Her morals were out of wack. I had mentioned to my fiancé that I didn’t want her at my wedding and if we had kids, I wouldn’t want her near them. It then made me question why he still wanted her in his life. After working afternoon shifts whereas my fiancé was working day shifts, he got bored and needed someone to talk to. I understand that, but did it need to be with my worst nightmare?

    That night I had found messages on Facebook. My blood began to boil and my heart sank. I confronted him and we had a discussion about it. He doesn’t lie to me and he tells me everything. The next day I went to work and I was so upset, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. That night, he had made me a candle light dinner and had told me that he has decided to no longer be friends with this girl anymore because she was causing too much of a strain in our relationship. I believe it has made our relationship stronger and I don’t regret it happening because if it didn’t happen, he would still be friends with the girl that I despise of.

    Don’t underestimate the damages that Facebook flirting can have on your half.

  162. herlina June 18, 2013 at 6:48 am #

    I am Mrs Herlina Al-Qurnia, I want to share a testimony of my life to every one. I was married to my husband clifford Moore, I love him so much we have been married for 5 years now with two kids. when he went for a vacation to France he meant a lady called Mary?, he told me that he is no longer interested in the marriage any more. I was so confuse and seeking for help, I don’t know what to do until I met my friend Augustina and told her about my problem. she told me not to worry about it that she had a similar problem before and introduce me to a man called Dr olorun who cast a spell on her ex and bring him back to her after 1days. Augustina ask me to contact Dr Olorun. I contacted him to help me bring back my husband and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods of his fore-fathers will fight for me. He told me by two days he will re-unite me and my husband together. After two day my husband called and told me he is coming back to sought out things with me, I was surprise when I saw him and he started crying for forgiveness. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth for what this great spell caster did for me and my husband, you can contact Dr olorun on any problem in this world, he is very nice man, here is his contact Olorunoduduwaspiritualtemple@g mail.com He is the best spell caster who can help you within 2 days. or call him now on +2348165219949

  163. MacK June 24, 2013 at 4:51 pm #

    Facebook chatting and flirting is cheating and disrespect. I thought I could forgive because I caught it before anything physical happened. But the truth is the jealousy and insecurity has made me an angry and scorn woman. I hate FB, I hate people who play around with lives so carlessly. Slowly the hate for my husband has grown larger than any love.

    All for some stupid FB romance!

  164. Dora the explorer!!! June 25, 2013 at 10:05 pm #

    Wow, way to make someone insecure before they’ve even had a boyfriend… Why am I reading this even? I think Facebook can be unhealthy, yes (I’m a teenager, I know OMG OMG a teenager who isn’t addicted to Facebook ) and I haven’t had any experience with flirting on Facebook yet. Depends how one uses it I suppose, and one’s age( I’m not quite at that stage yet!). What is with the weird spells to bring back an errant husband?! Hope you guys find true love (I don’t even know what that means yet lol). I are you all from America?? Random musing here… Why am I even posting a comment here?!?!? I wouldn’t ever cheat on my boyfriend or husband… I think I would be more afraid of him cheating on me.. :( ugh life is complicated. I used to think adults were ‘grown up’ . Nah they are just really complicated and I think being an ‘adult’ makes their pettiness and childishness more infantile… No offense to the adults all here of course!!! ;)

  165. miss edwina June 28, 2013 at 4:02 pm #

    Hello,Mr Name is Miss Edwina Scott of Australia,i was happily living with my husband on till he left me for another
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  166. Mike June 30, 2013 at 6:40 am #

    Unfortunately fb ruined my 11 year marriage,destroyed my children’s happy carefree lives,and reduced me to a shell of a man that I was. My ex chose to flirt and hook back up with a high school bf because they found each other on fb one disagreement while I was out of town working was all it took for him to weasel his way in, so anyone out there who suspects fb cheating end it before it ruins everything.

  167. bela July 3, 2013 at 8:47 am #

    My life is back!!! After 4 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our two kids. I felt like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. I contacted you and after I explained you my problem. In just 24hours, my husband came back to us and show me and my kids much love and apologize for all the pain he have bring to the family. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before Dr omon you are the best spell caster i really appreciate the love spell you casted for me to get the man back to my life i will keep sharing more testimonies to people about your good work Thank you once again Dr Doctor Modudu at (worldwidesupremetemple@gmail.com).incase you are in any problem you can contact this man for help he is always there in his temple to help you solve your problem Contact Email is +2348065147905

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  169. lora July 7, 2013 at 4:57 pm #

    My Name is Lora I never believed in Spells or Magics until I met this special spell caster called Dr Oje.The woman i wanted to marry left me 2 months to our weeding ceremony and my life was upside down.she was with me for 9 years and i really love her so much..she left me for another man with no reasons..when i called her she never picked up my calls and she don’t want to see me around her…so,when i told the man what happened.he helped me to do some readings,and after the readings he made me to realize that the other man has done some spells over my wife and that is the reason why she left me..he told me he will help me to cast a spell to bring her back.At first i was skeptical but i just gave it a try…In 3 days,she called me herself and came to me apologizing..I cant believe she can ever come back to me again but now i am happy she’s back and we are married now and we live as a happy family..Am posting this to the forum if anyone needs the man.Can contact him through this email: temple.of.solution.center@gmail.com

  170. BESTY July 9, 2013 at 2:53 pm #

    Life can be very displeasing especially when we loose the ones we love and cherish so much. in this kind of situation where one loses his/her soul mate there are several dangers engage in it. one may no longer be able to do the things he was doing before then success will be very scarce and happiness will be rare. that person was created to be with you for without him things may fall apart.
    That was my experience late last year. but thank god today i am happy with him again. all thanks to DR AKPAKPA, i was nearly loosing hope until i saw an article on how DR AKPAKPA could cast a love spell to make lovers come back. There is no harm in trying, i said to my self. i contacted him via email: afiamensolutionshrine@yahoo.com. words will not be enough to appreciate what he has done for me. i have promised to share the good news as long as i live.

    BESTY ADAMS

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  172. nightwolves69 July 12, 2013 at 2:30 am #

    my boyfriend for 3 yrs now cheated on me on Facebook and when i asked him who is he talking to he said its an old friend.. then i let go the issue, for some time later i opened his Facebook and read all his messages with this “old friend” of his and he denies that he’s already in a relationship.. and now they’re txting and chating on cam every time im not around..
    yes I have faults in the past im not perfect and I regret all of it..I’ve been faithful to him all this time and now this?? cheating on me?? what should i do?? plss help…

  173. Angela July 15, 2013 at 4:37 pm #

    My Name is Mrs. Angela, I was married to my husband for 8years and we were both blessed with three children, living together as one January until 2013 when things was no longer the way it was [when he lost his job]. But when he later gets a new job 3 months after, he started sleeping outside our matrimonial home. Only for me to find out that he was having an affair with the lady that gave him the job. since that day, when i called him, he no longer pick up my calls and nothing good and positive seems to come out from him. Yet my husbands just still keep on seeing the new girl friend till Dr. Orinoko cast a spell for me, now he is back with me and me only. And i am happy with my family if you need his help contact on via email, orinokosolutiontemple1@ gmail. com

  174. Ehiawe July 17, 2013 at 9:57 pm #

    I’m Ehiawe Diamanti from Cyprus, i want to use this medium to testify of how i got back my ex boyfriend. After 4 years in relationship with my husband with 3 kids, he suddenly started going out with other ladies and coming home late, most atimes drunk and each time i confront him about this it turns out to be fight, he even threatened to divorce me severally, I was emotionally devastated because i wasnt sure of what to do to make him love me again, I tried all i could to make him love me again but all proved abortive until i saw a post on the internet on how a spell caster Dr. Serina helps people restore back their broken relationship/marriage at first i doubted this but decided to give it a try, when i contacted this spell caster via email he helped me cast a re-union spell and within 5hours my husband came to me apologising and today we are happily together again. Contact this great spell caster on your marriage and relationship problems at serinaspelltemple@gmail.com Goodluck

  175. Melisa July 21, 2013 at 10:10 pm #

    My name is Melisa, My Ex-boyfriend dumped me two weeks ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don’t know what to do, so I reach to the internet for help and I saw a testimony of how a spell caster help people to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 48hours that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you Dr Aluya, You are truly talented and gifted. Email: aluyakespelltemple@live.com is the only answer. He can be of great help and I will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man.

  176. BESTY July 25, 2013 at 3:36 pm #

    Life can be very displeasing especially when we loose the ones we love and cherish so much. in this kind of situation where one loses his/her soul mate there are several dangers engage in it. one may no longer be able to do the things he was doing before then success will be very scarce and happiness will be rare. that person was created to be with you for without him things may fall apart.
    That was my experience late last year. but thank god today i am happy with him again. all thanks to DR AKPAKPA, i was nearly loosing hope until i saw an article on how DR AKPAKPA could cast a love spell to make lovers come back. There is no harm in trying, i said to my self. i contacted him via email: afiamensolutionshrine@yahoo.com. words will not be enough to appreciate what he has done for me. i have promised to share the good news as long as i live.

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  178. Leatitia August 20, 2013 at 1:45 pm #

    I just have to comment here. I am married and my husband is also chatting with women. I have spoken to him about it but he has just started being more secretive. Im so frustrated. I am on fb as well but for heaven sakes not chatting till wee hours of the morning. As a matter of fact not chatting at all. I have deleted most people and invited only poets and people interested in literature. And another question I have is what does a married man chat to with girls 10 years younger then him who dont even now what its like to be married or other married women for that matter. Why do you get married in the first damn place if you feel its too important to chat with others and have nothing to talk to to your spouse.

  179. Madison August 20, 2013 at 9:26 pm #

    Well accually I feel like my girlfriend was cheating on me after I went thru her phone an seen she was talking to 4 other guys and flirting like she normally does..
    I ask her constantly if she has and she says no
    Which I never believe her..
    What I did was leave
    I feel I made the right choice in doing that

  180. Mond August 21, 2013 at 1:23 am #

    There’s a lot of opinion here, sometimes woman get bored specially if she is not working, or maybe the problem is you. There is nothing wrong with facebook it’s up to the person who used it on how thing to be handle. Things invented it’s up to you how to used it for good or for bad.

  181. tav September 17, 2013 at 2:56 am #

    it only destroys the relationships that weren’t meant to be in the first place… if your spouse can be so easily stolen away from you by a online chatting then they are not faithful to you and its best you know now and move on the better things. let them have your sloppy seconds! you’ve been there done that and now they can deal with all the bullshit they put you through because PEOPLE DONT CHANGE!
    but for marriages on the other hand i feel a little bit more remorse because it could destroy a family and its just really sad.

  182. Dan September 27, 2013 at 11:29 am #

    wow i cant believe that many people feel the way i do about facebook and chatting with old boyfriends-i have been carrying this around for months thinking if i talked about it people would say whats the big deal? well it is a big deal. all i will say is if you are in a relationship and something you do bothers the other or hurts their feelings-that thing should go! unless your selfish why would you want to do something that hurts someone you love?

  183. Maggie October 17, 2013 at 12:00 pm #

    Flirting outside of marriage is very dangerous. Most of us do it without being intentional about it, and in that sense, it’s something we deal with. But, an intentional play toward someone else’s esteem over and over will break up a marriage.

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  185. Josh December 11, 2013 at 5:33 am #

    It really seems like I am one of the only people left in this world that is faithful. What the hell is the world coming to? My fiance and I had been together 3 years and I found out she was flirting with someone else on Facebook. Why do that to someone that you are supposedly in love with? Dammit why would someone do that? I cannot understand it. I have NEVER cheated on anyone..I think every cheater should have a big letter C branded into their foreheads so all of us NORMAL people will know to avoid them. Why would someone crush their significant other’s heart like that? I cannot understand or fathom it. I am giving up on all of my relationships…if it weren’t for my family I would end it all. I am tired of hurting everytime I let someone in. This has happened 4 times, women are as bad or worse than most men these days. Someone give me the strength to get through this without doing something terrible. Someone help me :(

  186. damanmoney December 27, 2013 at 4:11 pm #

    Yeah i found my ex cheating on facebook would have kicked the guys ass but he wouldnt confront me. I couldnt get him to meet me. There are lots of little twats on facebook that take advantage of a couples arguing and get in ur sauce. I`d say more men should catch the little clit dicks that do this to our qomen and beat the wholly hell out of them and give them something to think about would be a great place to start usually some little dickless wanna be poser that just needs there ass beat up. In perfect world we can blayme both rhe fact is that women are dumb and men likep the little dick twerps that pine for pussy on facebooktake advantage of the emotional state of the woman and both partys need to see the carnage that will result in the form of a severe ass beating. In a perfect world maybe we can say the womans falt but we cMt beat there ass. We can beat his and she wines to the little clit dick about how we qronged her. And he feeds her ego. End of story lets beat thhe little clit dicks asses iy qill solve most pf the shit..

  187. Cranberry December 29, 2013 at 7:59 pm #

    I just broke up with my boyfriend last night over the same issue. We had been best friends for a year and a half and he had just asked me to make things official in September of this year. Thing’s were going great I thought he was the nicest guy in the world. He would always be there for me, would send me gifts and he told me he loved me everyday so naturally I was convinced. The thing is he lives in California and I live in Vancouver, he is orignally was from here and was to move back in January (we met in highschool and reconnected through fb *shudders*) he first came to visit in September for two weeks and that’s when he asked me to be his girl and now he just came back for another week for christmas well,

    long story short he forgot his cell phone in my car and at first I put it away because I felt I couldn’t go through his stuff I trust him… but my friend (thankfully) convinced me otherwise. So what do I find? He’s messaging this other girl on christmas day at 2am in the morning telling her she looks really cute and if she’s still awake… and this is the very night whenninhad messaged him earlier if he was free later to come by…and a few days later he’s messaging her saying I’m only here till New year’s do you have time to hang out. I went furthar up in his messages to this girl and back in Sept when he was here he was messaging her asking to meet up as well 2 DAYS AFTER HE ASKED ME TO BE HIS GIRL!! *smh* it was actually pretty sad because the girl was not even interested in him, giving only one word responses and completely rejecting his advances. So I broke up with him he called me later that night crying and begging saying he made a mistake, he’s sorry etc so I began to wonder if he’s messaging this girl on his phone who knows what he’s been upto on fb so I asked him I were to log onto your facebook right now I wouldn’t find anything and he said no and he gave me his username and password… so I click open his inbox and the whole thing is full of just girls… </3 I opened up one message and he's telling this girl, 2 weeks after my birthday, "you're so pretty" after that I didn't even have the stomach to open anymore. I told him what I found and all he could say was sorry, sorry, sorry. Then he started crying and saying how he messed up so bad and all over girls he didn't even care for. He told me to give him another chance and I could look through his fb whenever I wanted to but I don't want to be in that type of relationship, the trust is gone. It's so sad when a relationship ends your friendship ends to andnhe was my best friend and now I've lost that because of this pointless need to flirt. Why can't people just be faithful, I never cared to talk to any other guys, I don't even have facebook for almost a year now. I did forgive but I'm never going to forget.

  188. D Domu January 7, 2014 at 9:28 am #

    I had the same
    Ex had been cheating though out our relation ship
    she even asked me if i loved her even when i used to say it to her
    Then i found on facebook that she had been searching for her ex
    2 months before we got married she fucked a student, a friend of mine and 5 other random guys and had a lesbian session with her mate and then blames me for the relationship breaking down (its on facebook if you want to read it)
    Some women are just conniving gold digging bitches (NOT ALL WOMEN)

  189. Caitlin January 25, 2014 at 3:42 pm #

    I have just found out this morning that my husband was talking to an old friend (one I have never liked) and it was all flirty and sexual. He is the type of man I never expected to cheat or do this type of thing…now I do not know what to think. When I approached him with it (meaning I turned on the light at 5:30 am waited until he woke up and threw his phone at him, then ran into the bathroom sobbing) he said it meant nothing, he’s never done anything with her (or anyone else), that “don’t you talk to your guy friends like that?” when I responded emphatically NO, he was speechless. He says he is sorry, that he loves me, only wants to be with me, and he is sorry he hurt me. He also says that he did not realize it would hurt me so badly. What do you all think?

    • aleeta March 10, 2014 at 4:00 am #

      Caitlin if it walks like a snake looks like a snake and acts like a snake then its a snake. im not that liberal to think that it could be anything less.

  190. Franker March 5, 2014 at 1:17 am #

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    month later i got pregnant and gave birth to twins (girls) we now a happy family

  191. Marian March 8, 2014 at 11:19 am #

    My life is back!!! After 8 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our three kids. I felt like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. I contacted Dr. OKORO LOVE SPELL and after I explained my problem, In just 3 days my husband came back to us and show me and my kids much love and apologize for all the pain he have bring to the family. We solved our issues, and we are even happier more than ever before Dr. OKORO you are the best spell caster. I really appreciate the love spell you cast for me to get the man back to my life i will keep sharing more testimonies to people about your good work. Thank you once again Dr. OKORO. You can also contact Dr. OKORO via email address: dr.okorospelltemple01@ gmail. com in case you are in any problem you can contact this man for help he is always there in his temple to help you solve your problem Contact Email is: dr.okorospelltemple01@ gmail. com CONTACT HIM TODAY VIA THIS EMAIL ADDRESS: dr.okorospelltemple01@ gmail. com AS HIS POWERS ARE SO STRONG AND VERY EFFECTIVE AND HAS NO BAD EFFECT INSTEAD IT HAVE A VERY GOOD RESULT AFTER CASTING THE SPELL.

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  193. Edwin March 18, 2014 at 8:09 pm #

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