Fool Me Once Shame on You- Fool me Twice…

It all started at the beginning of my relationship. My boyfriend seemed to have thousands of girls as his friends on facebook, with their profile pictures being provocative and sexy, you know the kind *pouting* and showing cleavage which I thought was kind of odd but didn’t question it, he can be friends with whoever, its only facebook right?

I had been dating him for 2 weeks and came across his facebook that he had left logged in and I looked at his messages, bare in mind only that day he had been telling me how he had fallen in love with me and is head over heels. The messages however said differently. There were thousands of messages from so many different girls and one in particular had happened that day in which he had asked if this girl would have children with him because they would give him better looking children than I ever could. I was hurt, and I couldn’t quite believe it, I didn’t bring it up but decided to keep a look out. Every night he was at it, saying how he wants all these girls, can’t wait to be with them, how I make him so unhappy.

I finally confronted him when he was asking one girl to meet up with him. We were on a camping trip and he was talking about marriage and how he sees a future with me, I couldn’t continue this facade anymore so I told him what I had read and how much it hurt me and that I don’t believe what he says to me. He begged me to forgive him and said he would delete all the friendships he had with all these girls on facebook, which he did. I thought maybe he would change and gave him the benefit of the doubt. Two weeks later I went to stay with my family for a couple of days and logged into his facebook again, there it was, another girl this time and he was telling her how he would move to be with her and can get a job anywhere and how he loves her accent and really has fallen for her. I immediately rang him and asked why he was doing this to me? Was he not happy? He said sorry again, he didn’t know why he did it and that he would change. He deleted this girl and vow ed never to do it again and stupidly I stayed. A decision I will regret forever.

So, things carry on and I finish uni and get a job far away from his family home, He agrees to move with me and start a fresh. Finally, I believe he is growing up and is willing to be serious with me. We have been together for 2 years by this point. We move and things seem fine. We get engaged and book the church for 2015. It isn’t until a year goes by that he puts a password on his phone, takes his phone EVERYWHERE with him, to the toilet, in the shower and keeps it in his pocket. I question the password on his phone and he tells me I have issues and can’t trust him and that if I never trust him we will never work. He starts a new job and becomes very distant. He stops me from seeing his friend list on facebook. One night he goes to the toilet at 3am and leaves his phone charging and he doesn’t know I found out the password on his phone. I look and there it is, a girl that he works with messages on facebook, that evening whilst I was in bed and he was in th e living room he was messaging her telling her how he loves her and misses her and can’t wait to touch her again secretly tomorrow at work. Well, there you have it, I forgave twice and I am the fool again. He is addicted to messaging girls on facebook and will change for no one. The next day I moved out of our home, the 18th October and that night he sets up three dating profiles and makes friends again with all the girls from his past on facebook, so I guess I meant nothing to him all along. What they are messaging each other now I dread to think but thank god I am no longer involved in that mess anymore.
When I asked him why he does it, he says he doesn’t know, he tried to change but he can’t. He even said to me I pushed him to do it because I don’t trust him! Facebook just makes it too easy, I guess, to do things that hurt people you are meant to love.


COMMENTS

  • Mindi

    December 6, 2013

    Reply

    Facebook is a whorehouse.

  • lexus

    December 9, 2013

    Reply

    it totally is

  • Megan

    May 15, 2016

    Reply

    I’m going through an extremely similar situation, only with my fiance it’s his ex fromade right before me that he can’t stop facebook messaging with. They never spoke about being together again though, he just keeps telling her how he misses her. He was supposed to have blocked her and has even done it right in front of me, but he keeps going back and unblocking her every time things get better between us and I finally start to trust him again. He swears up and down that I’m the one he’s madly in love with and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but then why would he still have such an unhealthy obsession with this woman if I were his true love?! He stalks this woman on facebook on a daily basis and can’t just seem to leave her alone. She keeps fueling his obsession by sending him pics of herself masturbating and stuff. Other than this shit he’s an absolute Prince Charming to me and is like the sweetest most affectionate and romantic man I have ever been with. I just don’t get it. He promised me 3 separate times that he had blocked her, but then this morning I discovered she was back on his Messenger and everything. I even sent her a message from his account since she has me blocked and I told her to stay the F away, but she sent a message back threatening me and talking all kinds of shit about me. I found a message he sent her a few days later in which he was apologizing to her for my crazy behavior. Told her how jealous I am of her and that I’ve been invading his privacy by searching through his phone. He even told her that he hopes she’s not mad at him for so careless and letting me find her pics and messages she’s sent him. He said he had no problem with her like I do and that he hopes they can still be cool. I lost it on him and tried to leave him then, but he threatened to kill himself if I broke up with him bcuz he supposedly can’t live without me! He supposedly blocked her again then and even deleted facebook off his phone completely. That was just this past Monday and we’ll here it is the following Sunday and I not only found facebook reinstalled, but also found her on his facebook again! Even found her at the top of his most recent contacts list. I haven’t confronted him yet because we’ve had our kids right under our noses all day, but I don’t know how much more of this I can take! I’m at a complete loss and feel so trapped. I can’t leave because Im scared he would hurt himself like he threatened. I seriously going insane over all of this! Help!


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