My wife had a Facebook emotional affair for over a year with an old high school friend. I guess, from what she has said at our marriage counseling, it started out as just catching up and talking about old times. Then he began to ask her some “what if’s” and “do you have any regrets”, and then there was some sexual innuendo and they started to explore some of their history and it developed from that.
It didn’t help that we already had some problems and that I work away from home Monday thru Friday. I was having some suspicions. She had lost a lot of weight, wearing make up again, dressing different and her total indifference to me.
Well I started looking at her computer usage when I was home, and she was browsing lingerie sites, love poems, romantic horoscopes (hers and someone that wasn’t me) , divorce laws, all kind of stuff that she didn’t talk about to me.
I didn’t know anything about Facebook, but saw it in her history and guessed at her password and did I get a surprise.
There were 3 weeks’ worth of messages some steamy and graphic and some mundane, but you could see it was building up to where she wanted to see him.
Now that is the funny part, he lives about 700 miles away and they haven’t seen each other in 18 years, 20th class reunion. To say the least when you read that your wife tells somebody there isn’t anyone but him that makes her burn with passion and how she dreams about having passionate love making sessions, it really ripped my heart out.
When I confronted her she denied it all, then got angry that I would dare to spy on her. Then she asked for some time to decide if she wanted to be married.
What I should have done was help her pack and sent her to him, but because, and you might think this is funny, I have loved this woman for 38 years, I just got my stuff and went back to the apartment that I keep where I work, and gave her a week to think about it.
She decided to be with me, which was a great relief, I really do love her, but the kicker is that she got back with him to see if their relationship was going anywhere and he dropped her like a stone (lawyers are like that).
Where I am stuck is that trusting her is a real problem. I sometimes wonder if she still tries to get in touch with him. She also feels that it was all harmless as she never had sex with him, physically, and though she also denies that she felt anything more than friendship, she cried when I asked her to unfriend him, and that she used to message him 10 – 15 times a day, and defended that rat, who if he was any kind of friend should have told her to work on or end her marriage instead on embarking the course they did, but again, lawyers had a higher set of standards, then us working stiffs.
So we might have started on a happy ending, but I am certainly working out a lot of issues with my therapist. The hell with social media and the hell with ADA’s. I ought to find one of your brothers and sue you for the costs of our therapy, before you start up with a new conquest.