I Had a Gut Feeling From the Start…

 

So my partner met a guy friend 4 months back on Facebook through a mutual page they were on, long story short, I hated the time they spent chatting, I had a gut feeling from the start and explained to her what generally happens and I was spot on about everything I said! She knew it infuriated me when they chatted everyday but she still did it making me feel like she didn’t love or respect me at all, I saw a very flirtatious msg from him (he’s married with 2 kids by the way) and sent him a msg saying he crossed the line, piece of shit sent a rude reply and blocked me, a month later the missis was at gym and left computer open so I saw a complete conversation, he said he loves her and thinks she’s amazing, I believe she fell in love with him also even though they are in separate states and have never met! I told her that night I had a bad gut feeling something was wrong and told her to swear on our kids lives nothing was going on, she lied to my face about everything.  I showed her the msg’s they sent the night before, she was in shock and apologized, deleted him and want’s to work things out between us I don’t know if I love her anymore let alone trust the lying liar! We have two young beautiful kids and that’s all that’s holding me together at the moment, need some advice please people.

Our Facebook Affair Began during His Honeymoon.

It was not intentional and it started 4 years ago. I hated logging into FB and seeing his face in the “people you may know” sidebar. I’d always click the “X” and go about my day. I’m in a serious relationship and I was happy with my partner. One day, I saw my ex on the damn “people you may know” section again and at a moment of weakness, I decided to message him just to see how he was doing. It had been 5 years since we last spoke and he was recently married at the time. I figured he moved on just like I did. Also, we had a long distance relationship & had never met before.

In my message I kept it short and simple. Asked how he was doing and gave no hint that I wanted to add him or anything. I honestly was not expecting a reply since I was the one that broke up with him. To my surprise, he not only responded positively but also sent a friend request. In my mind, I just wanted a simple message. I was over him and respected the fact that he was now married. In the back of my mind, I knew it was wrong that I accepted the add request b/c I was not sure of his intentions. I just assumed that since he was married he would have boundaries. I was soooo wrong.

For months our fb chats were clean. We chatted like old friends would. After about 6 months, he’d start to hint that he still had feelings for me. A few times he’d try to chat sexually and I’d demand that he’d stop and I’d start to turn my chat off for weeks just to avoid him. Looking back, I know I should have simply deleted him. He’d continue to sneak in a few inappropriate comments during our chats and even confessed that he still had my pictures from when we dated and would think about me often. Slowly, the temptation was too much and I gave in. I started realizing that my feelings for him never left and I still loved him. It wasn’t long before we started having sexual chats and I felt horrible about it. At the same time, I kind of felt like it could be justified only b/c my sexual needs were not really being met with my partner. My partner frequently turned me down no matter what I’d do until it got to the point where I stopped trying to initiate sex. This dent in our sex life made me react to the attention from my ex in a way that made me feel less guilty about it.

Fast forward to last year. By this time, we had skype’d a few times and chatted almost regularly. We both decided that it was a good time to finally meet. I wish this never happened bc what we did can never be undone.

I feel like it has gone too far now and my feelings for him have developed into some major feelings. I am so conflicted because I love two people at the same time and it’s the most messed up feeling ever. I don’t see how my current relationship can properly evolve if my ex is in the picture. I just have no idea if he is wanting to keep it simple or if he wants to be with me one day. We never discussed it and I don’t know how to bring it up. Then I read on the internet how most men that cheat seldom leave their wives for their lover. Honestly, even if we did get together exclusively, I’d never trust him and the relationship would be doomed from the start.

74 Years Old and a Slave to Facebook Cheating!

My father got an iPad several years ago. I thought it was a good idea but it’s turned out to have ruined my entire family. It was my sibling that found out first, they were able to find various info on Facebook and emails. My father contacted an old “flame” via Facebook and we didn’t tell our mom because as long as he didn’t act on it we left him alone. Then I got a call from my mom, I have to go pick up my father because he totaled his car trying to get to this woman. By the way, he’s 74. So I had to tell my mom at that point. Since then it’s gotten worse and worse. He got hooked up with a catfish scammer and he was sending money, Western Union to her. Even though she had multiple aliases he wouldn’t believe it wasn’t real. He can say it’s not real and all the things he should say to convince someone it’s not real, but I saw his emailing her asking for her to quickly send a real photograph through the mail so everyone knows they are together. She began using our last name and they talked about how they were now married. She began a facebook account with pictures of my family home and using our last name as hers. I saw him on this site just walking by the living room. He refuses to admit this is cheating. It caused them to separate for a while and my mom to have a restraining order. My dad blatantly lied in court, but the judge saw through it. He ended up telling my mom he would stop and so she moved back.  He lied. He has never stopped.  He spends all night on porn and talking to these loser women who are just scamming him. I’ve been humiliated by all of this. He has lost all sense of right and wrong. I tired to take his iPad and he was so irate he let the air out of my tires.  My family is disgusted by him. I can’t get the situation out of my head. He has just stepped up his game. He hides his computer, sneaks into the bathroom for hours with the iPad. He does everything privately so it’s not on his page anymore. His cheating, which he doesn’t believe is cheating, has ruined our family. To top it all off, he is mean and nasty to my mom, still. Now this woman has her own porn website too.

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